Elderly Sister Unknowingly Makes Xmas Cards

by Clam 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Clam

  Interesting experience the other day.

  My mother's in a residential home and one of her fellow residents is a Dub with early stage dementia.

  The carers at the home had the oldies all making Christmas cards and decorations and the poor old Dub lady was happily if haplessly involved. Obviously her Dub relatives had not made it clear to the home that the sister must not be included in such activities (?)

  Well in walk her Dub relatives. Not only are they instantly surrounded by the trappings of the pagan festival, ie decorations and carols playing on a music system, but their nearest and dearest has been included.

  What do they do? Nothing! They're so disarmed by the event, that whilst appearing very uncomfortable and red faced, they don't feel compelled to raise any objections and with forced smiles actually nod approvingly at the elderly sister's handy-work.

  I found it odd because although great efforts are made to extract their children from the Xmas festivities at schools or worldly™ social events, I wondered if as much care is exercised on elderly Dubs as they enter worldly™ care homes or mental health institutions?

  Anyone know if the Watchtower or Awake have any opinions about this?

  Clam
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  Witness 007

  Nice of them not to freak out and sue! Leave the poor old lady alone!
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  carla

  She is in the early stages of dementia? Then she has not been legally declared incompitent? She could have chosen to particpate in the activities in a moment of lucidity, who could say otherwise? or maybe, just maybe the jw's could see that having her participate and socialize is good for her and decided to do what is best for her rather than what is best for them and the wt. Besides, they would have looked like complete asses if they made a stink about it.
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  rebel8

  I know of nothing in print about this.
  
  Knowing their ignorance about mental illness, I'd imagine the same applies to dementia.
  
  I had an elderly jw relative who continued to celebrate holidays many years into her jw career, or at least she would send cards and presents. My mother, being the morally superior ass that she is, tattled to our local elders. They called the lady's elders who then either "counseled" her or had a jc. She stopped.
  
  Then as she aged, she started again. My mother tattled again. I think they "counseled" her again, even though it was obvious she had dementia.
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  blondie

  I do believe in a recent WT there were a few paragraphs advising jw family to be careful and monitor jw family members for possible religious/holiday activities and to make the administration aware.

  But then so many activities are in the common rooms that it forces the jws to stay in their rooms.....which can be sad. If the family is so concerned maybe they could keep mom or dad at home and look after them.
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  no more kool aid

  I think she should be disfellowshipped immediately, a little leaven spoils the whole lump. How about parking her wheelchair in the hall by the office ( that's where I spent most of my grade school days this time of year). Maybe we could spank her too, like they do the little ones. Let's think up some more punishments that are dementia specific!
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  no more kool aid

  Maybe the society can reject her estate donation when she dies. Oh no, I guess we'll take it.
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  carla

  I remember reading a story here where an elderly relative had alzhiemers and had forgotten they were ever a jw and went to all the church services at the nursing home, the jw daughter wanted the elders to do something about it but they saw no point as jah could read her heart. Then there was a story of a jw man who died and his sister was cleaning out his house and found holiday cards he had saved that someone had sent him and the sister thought the elders should df him even though he was already dead. crazy huh? it's no wonder 'worldly' people often do not believe stories from dubland, just too insane to comprehend.
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  The Missus

  When I started reading your story I was expecting it to end with them freaking out and making a huge scene. Kudos to them for keeping their mouths shut
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  Mary

  Hey Clam.....We had a very similar experience years ago when my Dub grandma. She was at the middle stages of alzheimers and at that point, didn't really even remember that she was a Witness. My aunt had talked me into taking her to the Memorial which I reluctantly did. On the way, my grandma asked me where we were going. I said "to the Memorial. Do you remember why we go to the Memorial grandma?" She replied "...To remember those that died in the War?" I thought '...okay, there's no point in taking her anymore'.

  Anyway, one day my mom and dad walked in the Retirement Home where grandma was, and she was either at a birthday party or a Christmas party. Mom and Dad laughed at that as it was so funny to see Grandma---who had been a die-hard JW, participating in a 'pagan' celebration. They knew there was no reason to get mad, because that is the very nature of dementia----the short term memory is ka-put and the person isn't responsible for what they do. My aunt did not see it that way and would try and reason with grandma about how she shouldn't be participating in birthday parties. It was ridiculous and pathetic and we all told my aunt to knock it off----Grandma couldn't help herself and to leave her alone.

  I remember telling one of my friends (an elder) about it at the time and he didn't think it was any big deal. When you're dealing with a disease like dementia, even the Borg must realize that you'd be fighting a losing battle when it comes to 'worldly' celebrations.....My take from the elder on this was: nothing they can do about it.