The Joys of Home Ownership

Jim_TX

Complaints from home owners received by British Councils

* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

* My neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

* It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has back-fired and burnt my knob off.

* I wish to complain that my Father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

* I am having problems with next door and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

* I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

* My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

* I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

* Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

* I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

* 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain.

* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

* Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

* Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

* I want to complain about the Farmer opposite; every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

* The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

* Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

* I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

* I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

mrsjones5

Jim, you're on a roll

Witness 007

This is funny! .....................but I hope "Lady Lee" doesn't ban your ass! Nothing wrong with having house problems!

musky

My neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Same guy?

Casper

Jim,

Hubby and I laughed until we cried !!!

Thank You so much,

Cas

Snoozy

That's so funny...I watched the "Two and a half men " show tonight and they did the same play on words describing Alans x wifes new husband's private parts and likening it to gardening..(He likes his bushes full)...etc...You had to be there...

Snoozy..

snowbird

Very funny!

Sylvia

kurtbethel

Very funny!

I don't want to be a killjoy, but the title seems off. These are not likely homeowners, they sound much like renters

purplesofa

hehe, funny

IP_SEC

Dont pay your property tax. Then we'll see who owns your home.

The Joys of Home Ownership

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