Haven't been to a "memorial" for 8 years because we decided no meetings meant no meetings. I didn't want to become one of those people who only came for the memorial for the last 30 years.
This brings up an issue I feel passionately about and think often gets missed by those who drop in and out of JW meetings and Memorial services through the years.
In the WT world of rigidly-conditioned thought and perception, when a JW stops regularly attending weekly meetings and assemblies, but continues to show up at the Memorial (or randomly at other meetings or assemblies), s/he is merely dismissed as "spiritually weak" or "stumbled," as having "fallen away," "tired out," "lost his/her joy," or some other equally convenient, denigrating JW category that allows the labeler to feel superior.
OTOH, when a JW, particularly one considered a "pillar," abruptly stops attending all meetings and assemblies, including Circuit Assemblies, District Conventions, CO/DO visits, the occasional Special Talkand the Memorial, the clear message is much more likely to be conveyed that s/he has consciously, proactively decided to no longer be associated with the organization in any way---a tacit proclamation of one's personal choice to dissociate which, as we all well know, never fails to rock JW world.
This is a critically important distinction for me. It is the precise reason I have attended not a single JW meeting of any kind in any location, and have set foot in a Kingdom Hall only three times in eight years---one wedding, two funerals. The three occasions caused quite the stir and satisfactorily confirmed for me that my absence and inactivity were being interpreted as I intended and not being mis-characterized.
I understand that each of us has a different set of circumstances that must be taken into consideration when navigating post-JW life. For those who can and wish to make an emphatic point, though, it is my opinion that a squeaky clean break is clearest and most effective.
AMNESIAN
7/1972---2/2001
