An elder called me the other day............

IWish4Truth

I have been DF'd twice, this time for over 6 months. An elder called me the other day and wanted to know if I'm renting my house or buying it. Also, he wanted to know who keeps my children while I work. I truly could not understand the phone call and everyday since, I've been wanting to call him and ask him if he was planning on paying my housenote or daycare expenses for this month.

blondie

I'm glad you didn't answer his questions because they are NOHB (none of his business). I would be sure it was for no good purpose he asked. Next time try to be bold and ask, "Why do you want to know?" And if he won't answer to your satisfaction, then tell him you won't answer his questions either.

NeonMadman

Is there anybody who might be interested in contesting the custody of your children, like an ex-spouse who is still a JW? The thrust of the questions sounds to me like he was questioning your ability to care for your children properly. I'm not trying to panic you, but I can't think of another reason for him to ask that sort of question. I hope your response was that it's none of his business, thank you, and why do you want to know anyway? Or, better yet, ask him how his children are cared for when he's away from home.

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

Gopher

Hi wish4,

You said "I truly could not understand the phone call."

Trust your instincts. He is up to no good. After all, when they DF'd you, in effect they said "you're outside the congregation... you're on your own now!"

So they can't have it both ways -- feigning some sort of interest in your welfare (or that of your children) while at the same time shunning you.

It truly sounds like they still want you under their "control".

You can (and likely will) choose not to yield ANY control of your life back to them. If so, good for you, you've taken a big step toward a satisfying future!!

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

willy_think

IWish4Truth

It IS like he was questioning your ability to care for your children properly. time to dummy up, you may be fealing there love soon. you might like to look into JW's and custody cases.

nelly136

weird, if he calls again give him the name of your solicitor and tell
him to address any further enquiries plus the purpose of said enquiry through them,
nelly

ballistic

It wasn't out of love or consideration was it?

I was going through a divorce just after my disfellowshipping. I needed some advise and had just lost all my friends and family. I had no work collegues to ask as I was self employed, and I didn't have much money. So I called up an elder.

You know what he said?

"Call the Samaritans or the Citizens Advice Bureau"

LB

To be honest if I were in your shoes I really would be interested in what he was up to. I'd probably call him and ask myself. I suppose the best response to such questions is to give them the standard smile with empty eyes. Just like they do when out in service.

avengers

More important is: Who put the elder up to this?". I'm sure there's more behind it. Be very careful. They have sneaky tricks.

"Few are they that look through their own eyes and feel with their own heart"
A Einstein

ozziepost

G'day Wish4 and welcom. We're glad you felt confident enough to ask your very serious question here.

In the normal course of life we generally think the best of people and, unless we have good reason not to, we usually think the best of people's motives.

However, in this situation, you should have good reason to be on guard.

For what it's worth, I agree most strongly with the comments already made to you. Please consider. (as the Toyota ad goes)

Sounds very suspicious to me.

Cheers,
Ozzie

"It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

Anonymous

An elder called me the other day............

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