I found old letters from a girl I loved....

justhuman

I was cleaning up my room and I found letters from a girl I loved. Although she was leaving in a Scandinavian country she was so warm and cute....but it was my fault that this affair didn't continue. Then I realize that this love was fake. Fake because WT was involved in this story, At that time(early 90's) we were both regular pioneers and serving as part time in our local Bethels. After watching the photos we had(she make me an album putting together all of our photos) and looking back of this love story, questions started to rise:

Does real love exist in the WT world? Was this love based on solid ground? Or did we loved each other because we were pioneers? At the end of the day in the WT is there real love? Or everything is fake, based on a lie, and the standards of the WT that dictates how should you love someone? If I had left WT would she stay by me? Or she loved me as long as I was a JW?

Those questions are flying over my head the last couple of days...I guess there is no real love in the WT world...I know it from my expierience leaving WT that there is no real love...

I want to know what love is, I want you to show me.......

Jim_TX

Ummm... I might be wrong, but I'll hazard a guess.

You were a pioneer - and in Bethel. She wanted to marry someone that was not a 'loser' - and you appeared to be on your way up the ladder in the organization.

I had a similar situation when I was young and single. My ex-wife was trying to snag a fella that went to Bethel. When he rejected her (for someone else), all she had left... was me. Not the best 'catch'... but oh, well.

Regards,

Jim TX

JAVA

"If I had left WT would she stay by me? Or she loved me as long as I was a JW?"

When looking back at JW relationships, I think you raise some good questions. As you know, life as a JW is all about the cult. If that's removed it's nearly impossible to know if relationships would remain strong thereafter. We seen some whole families on the forum exit the Tower, and others brocken apart. But it's always a question when looking back, isn't it?

The-Borg

I think it depends on the person. I married a girl in the WT and we both left and we are still married and in love. So it does happen.

SPAZnik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUfO16dIX0I

mkr32208

WT relationships are USUALLY based on one of two things. Lust, ie horny young people who have no outlet other than to get married. As my venerable old fadda once told me "you can't have sex 24 hours a day eventually you'll have to talk to the girl..." Number 2 climbing the WT ladder.

Neither of these things will last, group A will either end up divorced when the lust wears off or when one or both members leave the cult. Group two will either fall apart when one (or both) members leave or you will end up with two dried up old people who hate the hell out of each other but stay together for appearances. I'll bet there are more separate beds in this category then anyone would care to know about... Sad when you think about it!

Then there are lucky slubs like me who happen to meet a girl that we really get on with and stay with even after we leave the borg... Will we stay together forever? Who knows, but next month makes 13 years married, 15 years 'together'...

SPAZnik

These thoughts may sound kind of rambly, disjointed, jumbled, or out of context, but I'm going to share them anyway. /////////////// Had my ex ever told me honestly that he had doubts about the dubs, I would have respected that. I somehow knew that even when I was a pretty hardcore dublette who hadn't yet fathomed leaving it myself. /////////////////////////////////// I sometimes think we can only be as honest with each other as we are with ourselves and I know all too well how challenging it can be at times, especially on the dub front with entire worldview, ideological paradigm shifts, and relationships with family and other loved ones at stake. //////////////////////// People seem to be ongoing works in progress, whatever their ideological views or situations, so I try to be patient with them for the most part and, in looking back, prefer to remember them in that kind of accepting way, overall. ////////////////////// The JW factor definitely seems a formidable deterrent to human beings expressing their true emotions honestly, but then scapegoats seem to be a dime a dozen these days. I take a lot of solace from owning my own errors this way and learning from them. //////////////////////// I feel fortunate in my own situation regarding a key JW relationship. Although my relationship ended, it ended amicably, with a lot of peace, dignity, and respect. That trend has continued on in the extremely rare, and surprisingly healing, occasions that we have crossed paths since. /////////////// ........... As for old love letters, well, I can only say that they are what they are: Memories. I like to imagine that old flames have better informed my own current best effort capacities for that thing called love. As searing as they can be at times, I'm grateful for them all. Especially the ones brave enough to be as honest as they could be, whatever their perspective. Sometimes, it was neither good nor bad. Sometimes, it just was. :)

SPAZnik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-4VOLeKBOw

SPAZnik

I love Michael Buble. I just can't help it. :O) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-xrlONMEpM

Sunnygal41

powerful thought, bro. in my own experience, i've got my two very best friends from WT world out and we are best of friends and love each other unconditionally................i'm filled with deep gratitude for this gift, because I know how it is for those on the other side of the fence.............as blissful as it is for me, for the opposite it is torment. as far as the man i was married to......he is still a JW, happily remarried to a sister he met online. he is deeply happy because he lives in his favorite state (FL) and gets to play as much golf as he wants, among other things. i was the ender of that relationship. (sorry for the bad english) my take on the situation with jw loved ones: if they are open minded, they will find a way to continue the relationship. if they aren't and are truly brain washed by the cult, they will totally shun you..........however, i must play devil's advocate in MY situation, as I was the one who chose to leave. no victim here.

peace out

I found old letters from a girl I loved....

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