I've been known to use kingdumb hall, Jehovahs Shitnesses, crotchtower, and other nice descriptive terms. Not sure of their origins.
Apostate Dictionary
by cameo-d 47 Replies latest watchtower bible
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rebel8
Hot Mess Sundae: A slang term based upon "hot fudge sundae", an ice cream dessert featuring warm chocolate sauce, and "hot mess", a term used to describe someone or something that is such a mess, the level of it is off of the charts. This usage refers to a cultist whose mess is off the charts. Coined by rebel8.
Kingkongregation: A slang term for congregation of jws. Author unknown.
Jehoover, Jehoho, Jehoopla, etc.: Slang terms for the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy of the Old Testament worshiped only by jws. This does not refer to the gods of any other religion and should not be used in a derogatory sense against other religions. Authors unknown.
Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America (UADNA): The definition of this term is nebulous. According to posts on jwd, circa 2002, it appears this is sort of possibly fake secret society; membership is upon invitation only, and its activities are secret. I am a member and even I don't know what the activities are. Author of the term and club is possibly Nathan Natas. -
DocBob
circus overlooker = circuit overseer ... Our Kingdom Misery = that monthly newsletter used in the Serve-us Meeting
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rebel8
Here are some more. I’d like to eventually put these in a pdf (ode to Atlantis!) for posterity.
I know you guys can think of a lot more—ideas: terms for cold butts/feet/hands in the KH ‘cause the bros keep it too cold (or in fs), ties choking you, getting critiqued in the TMS by a numbnut, not being allowed to slow dance (or dirty dancing), jw folklore about science/doctors, folklore about “alternative medicine”, the unique stench in the kh/assembly bathrooms….
Theocrawedgie: The sensation of panty hose migrating to your butt crack after a long day in field circus.
McDonald’s napkin: Headcovering used for women to show proper Biblical headship to men, preferably stained with French fry grease
Slip check: Physical inspection of the undergarments of girls and young adult women before meetings, to ensure they are wearing a full slip, or camisole + half slip, so their nipples and Bermuda Triangles cannot be seen through their clothes
Beheading celebration: Birthday party
SuperFine Elder: Uber-theocratic elder man who follows every wts rule to the nth degree. Believed to be coined by LDH on jwd.
Drama-clap: The special sort of applause given after a performance of the dramas at the ass-emblies, characterized by insincere loud clapping of the hands after a cheesy rendition of an imaginary ancient event
Ass-emblies: Conventions of jws, hyphenated to emphasize the nature of attendees
Sex interview: One instance of sexual intercourse by a loose woman, as described in the Watchtower 1961 December 15 pp. 767-768
Pus shots: Vaccinations, based upon the description in The Golden Age 11/13/1929 pp. 106, 107
Cause of baldness: In women only, a bobbed haircut, which causes baldness according to Golden Age, 24 11/19 p. 100
Blue streak: A demonized smurf running naked through the Kingdumb Hell
Plasma candy: Candy bars, such as Milky Way, which were believed to be made out of blood
Hitler conciliation: The wts’ choice to write a letter to Adolf Hitler condemning Jews and reassuring him of their support of his actions, documented in a written declaration approved by attendees at an assembly circa 1933, subsequently published in the Yearbook, which they now deny -
rebel8
Jesus Rejection Ceremony: The Memorial
JW Lite: A jw who doesn't adhere strongly to the rules/requirements, believed to be coined by Beach Babe on Modern Chat
House shopping: A jw activity involving driving around neighborhoods to select the homes they'd like to occupy after Jehoho kills the current occupants during the Big A
Walking dead: non-jws
Demonized: former jws whose bodies are co-occupied by invisible evil forces
The Lie: Antithesis for the jw term "The Truth" -
WTWizard
Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger: I found that on Watchtower Information Service. A poster there by the name of Otto Marconi calls the FDS the "Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger". I liked that term, so I started using it myself--and it fits them.
Washtowel: I first heard those from Tired of the Hypocrisy and Doom Voyager here.
Asleep: The "Awake" magazine. Various sources.
Jehovah's Witlesses: Another I have seen from many sources.
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rebel8
Awake University: A spoof on the wt lie that a person can get the equivalent of a college education by reading the Awake! Magazine.
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AllTimeJeff
McWitnesses. I don't know where I read that from. I laugh, although I don't have a definition for it.
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kurtbethel
Watchtowerthinc: The nonsensical and often self-contradictory reasoning required to proclaim or believe some point of doctrine.
Made up by: Kurt!
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kurtbethel
See also: Dubthinc
And I am not even an apostate!