HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN CHILD'S HEART?

by termite 35 14 Replies latest social family

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  duped

  Termite,

  I'm dealing with some of the same issues you are. My children are 11 and 7 and both of them are dealing with it differently. Neither one of them are too upset about not going to the meetings. And they never made any friends there. We have been outcasts for the past 5 years anyway.

  I had a conversation with them about the possibility of celebrating holidays and the 7 yr old was like "bring it on". But the 11 yr old is completely against it. So I made the decision that until he is ready we will not participate.

  I mentioned the possibility of going to visit the Unity Church with a dear friend of mine who I greatly respect her beliefs, and my whole family responded as if I had said I was going to rob a bank. So I decided to hold off on that for awhile also.

  I think you are right about taking it slow, and also letting them know that everyone on earth is trying to figure it out. But maybe we're not supposed to have everything figured out. Maybe we're just supposed to be the best person that we can possibly be.

  Duped

  "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." Mary Chapin-Carpentar
• 

  forgetmenot

  I'm only 17. We started to leave the organization of JW's when I was 15. It wasn't hard for me because a lot of the children in the congregation didn't really pay any attention to me. I was happy because I didn't have to put up with their crap anymore, and could hang out with the so called & "bad association" of the world. My sister, though, has always been the center of attention and she was angry when we left. She continued to go to meetings but then she too got tired of it all. She was tired of everyone asking why the rest of her family wasn't going. After she got used to it and saw how the people in the congregation hurt their members and didn't show love, she stopped going.
  I think that children are most effected by emotion. They know what it feels like when someone has hurt them emotionally. If you somehow let them in on how the JW's are not kind to their mom/daddy they will recognize why it's not good for mommy/daddy to go. I think that this would be more effective then trying to teach them about philosophical differences.
• 

  termite 35

  i 'll just test...
• 

  termite 35

  At last! IT WORKS AGAIN! I must go on a computer course....Hi duped and forgetmenot; thanks for replying....v.good to hear of others in similar sit. to me. i've been on holiday, back now...obviously!I know what you mean about the differences in children duped; my #1 is so happy we dont go anymore #2 is still worried she will be annihilated at any moment and misses the one friend she had there( that says something dosnt it? one friend) DOS'NT WANT TO GO TO ANYTHING 'CHURCHY' oops ,sorry... this xmas week, but cant wait for xmas, wants to worship SOMEWHERE though...#3 +#4 JUST LAID BACK AND EASY GOING...thatsa hell of a lot of sorting out, i seem to be spending all my days on so many different conversations... i may take#2 to midnight mass, it is quite anonymous in our local huge church and not like a sunday ,weve been doing a lot of charity stuff and have been buying loads for xmas for others to get in to the mindset of giving to others less fortunate, and they do seem to be focussing on giving which is making them feel good about themselves.It'll all come together in the end i'm sure... i guess im too impatient in a way ;ill just have to accept that many years can't be irradicated that quickly .Let me know how the next few weeks go love to your tribe...Forgetme not; hi,you sound a lot like my daughter!are you?!!!!!!!!i'm so glad you're happier now ,keep it that way!you are totally right...children pick up on emotions so fast,we are all so much more relaxed to the point of being comatose lately and i love it!Laid back teenagers are a special breed ! It's really good to know their lives spread out in front of them like a great adventure,not mapped out in service to wtbs one way or another, and as for you hanging out with so called bad assoc. i'll bet just like most children they're not that at all; but lovely ,bright, lively kids.Enjoy yourself,you deserve it!!!!!
• 

  Julie

  I have never been a JW but found myself in this situation regarding just plain ol' religion. As has been mentioned the age of your children will matter but I just flat out told mine that after really looking at the bible (you could of course just say WT teachings) you have found that they do not make sense. I explained there may or may not be a God out there but he definitely wouldn't have anything to do with that nightmare book (you could say organization). Explain you studied it long and hard and that it hurt you to come to these conclusions but that the truth is more important than to believe lies in order to feel good. Obviously you could tailor this explanation to about any age group.

  Just my two cents, I wish you much success,
  Julie