I was working in Corpus Christi this past weekend, when my sister called out of the blue on Sunday. She, like the rest of my family, is a very zealous JW, and since I am recognized as an apostate, I haven't seen nor spoken to her in about four years. I was completely shocked that she called. She said she was preparing for the Watchtower study and she just couldn't get me off of her mind. She had a very warm tone to her voice, saying she was "welcoming me back to Jehovah." She said, "Sometimes we can just forget how much the organization has taught us and what it's accomplished."
I did my best to keep my tone kind, but I made clear that I no longer recognize the WTS as what it claims to be, and that it's not because I've forgotten anything. We spoke for a total of fifteen minutes, at the end of which she told me she didn't want it to end as an argument. I told her that I loved her, appreciated her call, and hoped she would become open to considering all the information about the Watchtower Society.
So, since she's opened the door, I'm going to--for the first time--actually send one of my family members something. I'm going to enclose the thirty-page "Letter to My Mother," that I wrote over the course of about three years. Many of you have read it before. Feel free to check it out here, if you'd like. But, of course, there is a strong likelihood she won't read it. But I hope she will read the less imposing letter I'll fold separately and enclose. It's only purpose: to emphasize the foolishness of not considering all the information pertaining to the WTS. Here it is...
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Dear B___,
It was good to get your phone call this past weekend. I appreciated your appeal for me to “return to Jehovah.” I think you’d agree that our conversation was a bit clumsy, with each of us not having spoken in so long—and having very different perspectives. But some of the things you said have brought me to the realization that you are unclear as to my point of view. So since you took the time to reach out to me, I will do the same for you.
B___, I no longer recognize the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society as being in association with a channel of communication from God. I don’t think it ever has been. Therefore I don’t think beginning to attend meetings at a Kingdom Hall or re-identifying myself as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses would be, in any way, ‘returning to Jehovah.’
You suggested that I may have ’forgotten what the organization has taught us and what it has accomplished.’ Not only have I not forgotten, I now know more about what they teach and do than I ever did before, after a very close examination. So, to be clear, my leaving the Watchtower organization is not because I have forgotten things, nor because I have allowed other things to distract me. My conclusion that the WTS is not what it purports to be came as a result of one thing: giving myself permission to conduct an objective investigation into its teachings, history and claims of divine guidance. This wasn’t easy, since I both wanted to believe it was The Truth, and I had been led to believe that, in considering information other than that published by the WTS, I was somehow being disloyal.
What do you think? Is it ever wise to disallow yourself all sides of an important issue such as this one?
“We need to examine, not only what we personally believe, but also what is taught by any religious organization with which we may be associated. Are its teachings in full harmony with God's Word, or are they based on the traditions of men? If we are lovers of the truth, there is nothing to fear from such an examination.” [The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life, 1968, page 13]
Perhaps, as was the case with me, you think you already know and understand the pertinent issues that challenge Watchtower claims. I’m sure you do have a surface knowledge of what many of them are. And I’m sure, like I did, you have perfectly intelligent responses to them. But I can say without question that I have not yet found the Jehovah’s Witness who, after objectively examining all of the information, does not come to see their former perception of the organization as a delusion. True, sometimes it takes awhile to wake up. But whether they are publishers, pioneers, Gilead graduates, missionaries, Bethelites, elders, ministerial servants, Circuit Overseers, District Overseers, the Society’s own researchers, writers and longtime department heads, perennial Watchtower Society apologists, etc., eventually they have to face the facts. And it becomes extraordinarily difficult to keep proclaiming this religion as “The Truth” with a clean conscience.
When finally beginning an unbiased examination, another obstacle to the truth is the almost inevitable cognitive dissonance that occurs. Your mind goes into a defensive state for obvious reasons. It’s like someone walking up to you and telling you your father is a hit man for the mob. Everything you’ve known, seen and heard tells you it can’t be true, and your mind races for what it needs to disprove this apparently outrageous claim. Frequently, in this position, our mind rushes to conclusions about those presenting evidence that contradicts what we’ve accepted. “Maybe they’ve just forgotten.” “Well apparently they loved ‘the world’ more than they did Jehovah.” “Some get caught up in deep research or higher education, and they start thinking they’re smarter than Jehovah.” “Well I think he just wanted to live a life of pleasures.” “I think she just got bitter because of how she was treated.”
"A closed mind . . . could even be a sign of uncertainty or doubt. For example, if we are unable to defend our religious views, we may find ourselves lashing out against those who challenge our beliefs, not with logical arguments, but with slurs and innuendos. This smacks of prejudice and of a closed mind." [Awake!, November 22, 1984, page 4]
But the person truly committed to the truth will eventually get past this dissonance and will consider the facts without prejudice. Questions will arise that can no longer be easily answered. She realizes that Jehovah’s Witnesses should be at least as open-minded as they expect others to be. It strikes her that anytime people ask for your trust, while discouraging you from—and penalizing you for—listening to information that challenges them, it can in no way be considered “honest-hearted.”
Not all come to precisely the same conclusions, to be sure, but one thing they all agree upon: the organization is nothing close to what it claims to be. They had been living in a sort of virtual reality. In an environment where the WTS controlled the information, and everyone accepted their authority and perspective, their powers of reasoning had been hampered. After a complete and impartial inspection, free from institutional manipulation, indoctrination and pressure, it is impossible not to see this, and they just can’t believe how they couldn’t see it before.
The decision such a person is left with? Either he leaves and admits his reasons, leaves without admitting them, or actually continues as a Jehovah’s Witness in a charade, concealing what he knows, in the fear he will lose his family and community of friends. I know several current Witnesses—some elders—in exactly this position. Imagine holding your true feelings inside, knowing you will be shunned and branded as “wicked”—not because you want to change anyone else’s mind—but because you merely want to follow your own conscience. And, even though he intends no contempt nor mounts any campaign to broadcast his opinions, if he no longer sees evidence that the organization is what it claims to be—and admits it—the Society will not stand for it, cutting him off from his family and community. It is they who’ve decided to create an adversarial relationship with any who refuse to accept the position they claim for themselves, inventing the remarkable spin that it is these shunned ones who are beating them!
I speak for so many former Witnesses when I say, “I have no problem with your practicing your religion if that’s what you believe is right. Enjoy! If you ask me not to talk about my opinions of the organization, I can totally do that, just as I may ask the same of you.” But what if an active Witness does talk to me about my differing views? Might they not come to agree with me? Possibly. That’s entirely up to them. But if a religion feels it necessary to quash all possible disagreement, what sort of confidence does this demonstrate?
Remember the case the Bible records in Acts chapter five about the Pharisee Gamaliel who recognized how fruitless such suppression is. With reference to a new religious movement, he submitted that there was no point in trying to silence them since the truth would eventually become manifest. And this was with reference to an actual evangelical movement; not just various unconnected people who disagreed with them.
So there you have it, B___. In the very least, you now understand my position. Maybe I’ve even given you some things to think about too. Maybe not. Earlier I mentioned all the people who’ve left, i.e., elders, Bethelites, etc. But who cares? It’s what you believe that should matter. You may have noticed that, in this letter, I haven’t really presented any of the evidence for my conclusions. All I’ve done is expanded upon this scripture…
“When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears it, that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation.” [Proverbs 18:13, NWT—underlining added]
The enclosed document is a letter I wrote for our mother, but which I decided not to send. If you’d care to consider just some of the substantive reasons I cannot any longer be a part of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, you’re invited to read it. If not, throw it away.
You should know that I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I am married to the kindest, most wonderful woman I’ve ever known. Her name is Rachel, and she’s from Kenya; she moved to the U.S. about seven years ago. She’d never seen snow before, so last month I took her to Michigan, and we drove from Detroit to the U.P., where we stayed with Joe B___ and his family. Needless to say, she experienced snow—and loved it! We drove to Dresden Village, and I showed her where we lived on Delvin Drive. It brought back a lot of memories of you and I, playing in the backyard, swimming at the Harpers’, the time D____ got his finger stuck in the station wagon’s back window, the Wilkins’, the Clarks’, etc.
I love you, and will always be here for you—if you ever need anything, or you ever want to talk.
Jon