What are your weekends like now?

by passwordprotected 18 Replies latest jw friends

passwordprotected

Compare and Contrast.
My weekends as a JW;
Saturday. Stressing to get the kids ready in time to get out to meet the FS group. Feel a bit guilty for not preparing a 'magazine presentation'. Get an hour's time in, maybe speak to 2 or 3 'householders'. Perhaps 'place' a couple of magazines. Feel a bit guilty for leaving the FS almost exactly on the hour mark, but it has to be done as the kids are getting raucous/bored/cranky/tired.
Return home to a messy kitchen (messy due to the rushed exit to meet the FS group on time). Feel a bit jaded while eating lunch. Kids have too much energy so are bouncing off the walls. Get irritable with the kids. Feel guilty at getting irritable with the kids. By 2pm feel like going back to bed. The afternoon drifts by in a reverie of arguing kids and bored parents. Can't be bothered doing anything. Perhaps take the dog a walk. Or not. Feel guilty for not taking the dog a walk. Evening comes and brings a takeaway meal, a couple of beers and some mindless but fun TV. Kids go to bed. Feel guilty for not doing more with them during the day. Wife 'studies' her Watchtower. Feel guilty for not doing the same. Watch 'Match of the Day' then bed.
Sunday. Up early to get Watchtower 'studied'. Feel guilty for not putting more into it, but feel unsatisfied with the magazine's content. Stressing to get the kids ready, to pack a lunch and get to the meeting 20 minutes before it starts as per all 'appointed men' families. Feel irritated on the drive to the KH, can't figure out why so blame oneself; where is my gratitude for the meetings? Sit through the meeting feeling tired. Don't feel any great connection with the study material in the Watchtower. That must be my fault for not spending more time pre-studying it. After meeting feel stressed by having to keep excitable son under control. Feel guilty as he just wants to have fun with his friends. Feel irritated by self-righteous attitude of some of the parents whose kids behave like angels. Eat packed lunch then out in ministry. Feel very tired. Feel a bit guilty for leaving the FS almost exactly on the hour mark, but it has to be done as the kids are getting raucous/bored/cranky/tired.
Return home to a messy house due to rushing out the door to get to the meeting 20 minutes before start time. Handle 'appointed man' business (usually relating to congregation assignment) while the kids fight and argue. Feel guilty for not doing much with them but make the excuses; tiredness, busyness etc. Highlight of the weekend; 5-a-side football with the brothers, although some of the passive-aggression on display causes a bit of stress. Return home with a sinking feeling that another weekend is over and it's back to work on Monday.
My weekends as a non-JW;
Saturday. Up early but there's no rush or stress. Wife and daughter lie in. Get son up and ready for football training. Take him to football training at around the same time we would have been meeting the FS group. Feel good about his joy at playing football on Saturday mornings, learning skills making friends. Wash car. Pick son up from football training, listen to his little stories about goals scored and tackles made on the drive home. Stop off to buy rolls and bacon. Return home to a tidy kitchen, wife and daughter up and dress and relaxed. Wife makes lunch. Read the paper, surf the net, chat in the kitchen. Kids argue about television or toys. Plan what to do in the afternoon. Head out for a while with the kids, either taking them and a friend somewhere fun or dropping them off at their friend's (another ex-JW family). Have enough energy to want to do something interesting and fun with the kids. If kid-free, go to a nice coffee shop with wife for a mocha and a chat. Feel relaxed and at ease within oneself.
Relax in front of Saturday night TV with the kids. Pack kids off to bed. Savour a feeling of refreshment, feel secure, feel at ease. Watch 'Match of the Day' then bed.
Sunday. Get up whenever we want. Easy breakfast, no rush, no stress. Take the dog a very long walk, meditate. Think about life. Talk to God. Return home, shower and change into 'smart-casual' attire and head to church for the 12pm service. Service lasts 1 hour. Lots of worship songs. Prayer. Bible reading. Sermon. Take notes during the sermon, solidly based on the Bible. Songs. Prayer. Feel great. Feel connected. Feel at ease. Chat with some of the congregation. No pressure to be a certain way. Just be.
Invite ex-JW friends back for lunch/Go to theirs for lunch/Go out somewhere nice for lunch/Go to new friend from church's home for lunch. Kids play with other kids. Chat. Relax. Return home. Feel energised. Feel spiritual. Feel connected. Go to 6pm service at church without wife and kids. Sing songs. Listen to Bible-based sermon, take notes. Take communion. Chat with some in congregation. Go home. Read some of the Message Bible with son. Kids go to bed. Chat with wife until late. No football on Sunday nights now. Another weekend is over but feel refreshed and relaxed, ready for work on Monday.
What are your weekends like now?
WTWizard

For one thing, I no longer have to rush home from work to go out in field circus or to the boasting session. Instead, I get home whenever, and start posting on this forum listening to some nice music.
MissingLink

Old Saturday Morning: Making excuses and feeling guilty for not going in the field misery, or on the rare occasion, actually dragging the kids out.
New Improved Saturday Morning: Take my little boy to his Tae-Kwon-Do lesson. He's getting something out of it, and everyone is happy and guilt free.
Old Sunday Morning: Usually going to the meeting, although deeply dreading it. But the guilt for missing a sunday meeting generally won over, and we'd go. The air in the hall was disgusting because we couldn't affort ventilation due to an elder's embezelment of our funds (that's another story). All the while there I'd be trying to hold my breath because the air was wet and smelly. While there, I'd try to maintain a semi-conscious state during the public talk. And during the watchtower try to keep my ears totally closed to not hear the embarasing stupidity being spouted by people in the same group I was associated with. It was actually a relief if one of the kids would act up because I could at least go into the 2nd school or outside for a little walk.
New Improved Sunday Morning: We try to have a nice breakfast usually whenever we feel like getting out of bed. Pancakes or french toast. Chilling out, having fun, all guilt free now. Luxury.
Finally-Free
While a JW:
1. Wake up to the sound of my ex nagging me to get my ass out of bed.
2. Eat breakfast while my ex reads the text to herself. I had no interest in it.
3. Search diligently for aches and pains that might excuse me from field circus.
4. Wash up. Pull my pre-buttoned shirt over my head and put on my pre-knotted tie.
5. Finish dressing.
6. Drive to the service arrangement listening to my ex give me shit for not preparing a presentation.
7. Go from door to door saying, "Watchtower and Awake! Wannem?"
8. Go to Tim Hortons for coffee and donuts.
9. Do other people's "return visits" because I never had any.
10. Go home and listen to ex nag me for the rest of the day.
Now:
1. Sleep in.
2. Get up and cook a really good breakfast.
3. Play with my birds.
4. Do projects around the house.
5. Work on online courses.
6. Shop.
7. Cook a great dinner. Sip some wine, cognac, scotch, or absinth.
8. Enjoy hobbies.
W
DaCheech

I have a JW that is depressed and the "friends" made him feel guilty for working on saturdays.
he now wakes up at 5:30 on sunday morning and street witnesses for 2 hours before doing another 2 hours with the group.
I now take it easy and hug my wife until 10am and the kids can play all they want
chickpea

very much like yours, password protected....
dissatisfying attempts to appease the b0rg dogma
except of course being a weaker vessel,
i had no privilege of reaching out and the
hub couldn"t have given 2 sh!ts in a handbag
about added duties..... so we were only 10 minutes
early.... having read the WT study en route on the
20 minute drive.....( forgive me children!)
now, the mornings are quiet, peaceful
as the teenaged kids sleep in....
fresh coffee and a perusal of international
english language papers online....
feeling more connected to the life i have
rather than the one i hoped for....
WuzLovesDubs

Mine started on Fridays. I would hate Fridays because I knew Saturday and Sunday were coming and my time wasnt my own. I mean who hates Fridays?? When I was still in and going to meetings, I had a newborn, a four year old and a 6 year old. They were VERY well behaved kids but you can imagine the guilt I felt having to drag them out in service on a beautiful Saturday morning when their friends were all up and down the street playing basketball, or dolls, or riding their bikes. I would envy the neighbor out sweating in the sun mowing his yard and trimming his bushes while his wife was in the garden tending the veggetables or going to the store to buy groceries. Thats ALL I wanted to do...have the choice to do ANYTHING ELSE but go out in service and bother people. I felt guilty NOT going and felt guilty NOT going enough and felt guilty NOT preparing and NOT wanting to be there at all....guilt guilt guilt. I was one of those sloth JWs who walked 1 mph down the street praying nobody would be home and praying for the time to end and praying somebody else had a long return visit we could go on to kill the morning. In winter in Illinois when it was snowy, sub zero and miserable....multiply all the above by 100.
And repeating that process on Sundays...making the kids sit through HOURS AND HOURS of adult talks about adult subjects and not being allowed to let them color or look at their bible story books or do anything but sit there. And afterwards all I wanted to do was LEAVE that building. And all my husband wanted to do was flit about the hall being Mr. Sociable. And HE never was the one to wash, dress, feed and take care of...those children before and during those meetings. Including afterwards. He never read an article. Never underlined anything...and we NEVER got along when we were going door to door because he always thought he could handle the discussion better than I did and even at "my doors" he would butt in and take over. It was a nightmare. Wash, rinse, repeat....every weekend. (not to mention having to drag ourselves and our kids out the door every TUESDAY and THURSDAY night TOO!!)
Now that I am out...he doesnt go to ANY meetings either but he is still "in" though how he is still "in" is beyond me. I now have a job that takes me out of the house from 2-9 or 2-6:30 on both days but the kids have been in baseball, basketball, dance, chess club, engineering club, honor society, volunteering, dating, birthday parties, getting jobs and doing whatever else they have WANTED TO DO since I left in 1997. They have thrived and grown and are happy, well adjusted loving people now. And like today, we slept in til 10. Had coffee and muffins. Im doing some geneaology research, drinking my coffee, reading JWN, enjoying a beautiful South Florida winter day...and except for worrying wherre the economy is taking me, my time and my thoughts are allll my own and nobody is expecting me anywhere. And that includes church. The kids are going to the South Florida Fair today and will be having a BALL.
As for my JW husband...I think he is relieved that I left and his kids could have a normal life. And I think I have given him the excuse not to go any more himself. And he is upstairs working on our second story, building things with his hands, his time is his own too. The guilt...he has to deal with that part of it on his own. I have ZERO guilt about leaving that cult.
besty

"Leave the JW's - eat better food" seems to be a recurring theme here....
no more kool aid

Like WasLoveDubs, I hated Fridays because I knew what was coming. I spent Friday evenings quick getting yard work done and vacuuming and washing the car for service ( which was trashed by 1030 Sat am). My weekends were much like Password's. My family literally hated me on weekend mornings. I was like a drill Sargent, "turn the TV off","eat your breakfast", "pack your book bag", "you can't wear that, didn't you hang that up after the last meeting"? Then I was really nasty after I got home because I had to make lunch, clean up a dirty kitchen and run to the grocery store. Then Sunday was the same story. Well there was always assembly weekends to look forward to! No wonder people develop chronic fatigue and other wacky ailments, it's a coping mechanism, so one can check out. I love Friday night and the weekends now. I am actually refreshed and ready for work on Monday. Today I cooked a huge meal for family dinner (including JW parents and other elderly JW relatives), so sad that they will drag in exhausted from their weekend activity. I still have to pinch myself on Saturday mornings because it is so wonderful, something other people take for granted.
ninja

really difficult for me now.........I have to wait for my wife to come in from the meetings to turn the telly on and make me something to eat...........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

What are your weekends like now?

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