How can it be? It's so cruel... (page 2)

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Sorry to hear that's what's happening to you. The mind boggles that Jehovah's Witnesses believe that God wishes to inflict pain and anguish through this cold-hearted punishment.

Sorry Newborn and all the rest of you who are having to deal with how the Watchtower poisons the minds of its followers against their family and friends. In a way you have to feel sorry for the ones shunning you. They turn their backs on friends and family who really care about them to obey an organization that could care less about them and will cast them aside they minute they disagree or are no longer useful to it. Try to remember there is always hope that they will wake up someday and don't let them hold you back from enjoying your life.

WuzLovesDubs

Hey Newborn. It is painful. Its cruel. Its the Watchtower. I guarantee you our family members would be back to us if the WTS said shunning was "a conscience matter" and there was no penalty or retribution for not shunning exJW family. No doubt about it. If the Society would just get the HELL outta our personal business!

My advice to you is to continue to write to her. Dont talk about religion. Keep writing to her about your life and your love for her and memories and things you are doing. I bet money she loves hearing from you. Use it like it was a blog. You can pretend to be talking to her. It might make it easier. Dont expect an answer from her...but dont play their game either. She is still your sister honey. They cant take that away from you.

hugs, LD

sspo

That's why i left the cult after 32 years. No way was i going to give up my daughter who was Df

because some old farts in Brooklyn told me so.

I feel for you.

mary stewart

i live at home still, and my dad keeps getting hounded by the elders to kick me out! in the cold and snow? gotta be kidding me!

my dad's too cowardly to do it. but he's weak. he can give in! maybe not to my needs, but to theirs? absolutely! sadly, my parent have no life outide the cult, especially my dad. wish i could get them out.

jam

My son letter to his sister, she is still in, he is out over 10yrs. and he has never been DF.

He was schedule for a business meeting in her state,so he call her and told her he would love to see her for lunch

and introduce his new girl friend, not to stay with her but too have lunch..Because he is not Df they stay in contact.

Well she wrote him and told him she can not have lunch with him, in fact it would be best if they didn.t see each

other.. MY son letter, ------ This is all nonsense to me now.. Our family has already lost a generation to this dysfunction

and I will not expose my son to any more..You are an adult and have to live with the decision that you make. I

have to do the same. Simply following a set of rules(JW) do not make people more honorable and ethical.

If you believe that your supreme being will turn against you because you make mistake, then you will never

experience unconditional love..And tragically, your daughters will never experience unconditional love from you.

You have to do what you feel is right to protect you your family, and I have to do the same.. I don,t want you

to ever contact me and my son again..My ex wife and I have worked diligently to parent our son with love,

respect, and affection..We surround him with people that respect the differences in others, love their fellow man, and truly

understand the meaning of unconditional love. I don,t want him exposed to judgmental people who believe

that they have a lock on the truth; they can choose to turn their love off and on. He will never have to live

with that sort of dysfunction. Good by.. I told my son are you sure you want to send this..Well my daughter sent him a very moving

E-mail They are trap...They are hurting also

My daughter E-mail

Before you close the door on our relationship, I want you to hear me out. Even if you did not write in haste or

anger, what you said to me is very hurtful..I have been anguising for weeks over how to approach you because

I did not know how you would respond. It would have been easier if you had told me that you were angry and

hurt and didn,t understand my feelings. It also hurt you involved your son. I never wanted to end a relationship

with my nephew. He has a special place in my heart as the first grandchild and nephew family. I love the fact

that he is a loving and caring of others. And that is credit to you and your ex.

This is between you and me and not even your new girl friend..Because if you got married tomorrow, I would

welcome her with open arms into our family..And I still love you, it is conditional. My feelings don,t change

regardless of your lifestyle.I will always love you as my brother and I was not saying goodbye.

Ifelt that I had to bring up the situation, of you living togather without being married, because circumstance

change.I hope that you will change your situation so that we can enjoy each others company again.I bellieve

that you know that I love you and my nephew. And I hope that you remember that you and I hold to a higher

standard than the rest of the world does because you and I willingly dedicated our lives to Jehovah and promised to obey Him. I am not judging you, but am listening to what Jehovah tells us. I sincerely believe that He is father that has our best

interest at heart. Even when it,s a truly difficult thing for me to say to you. That,s what makes this situation

different than associating with any of our worldly relatives or even our brother------. They are not dedicated

and did not promise to obey God,s laws..We can expect them to have a different standard of living.

It,s the same thing with our Dad. I hate that I cannot see him and that my girls don,t know him as a grandfather.

They know his name and know his picture and my oldest remembers seeing him a few times. I love dad, but

I agreed to live by Jehovah,s laws..No one force me or made that decision for me..Maybe you think I don,t care

about dad or that I have not forgivin him because I don,t talk very much how I feel. But every time that

I see dad,s brother, I long to see my dad because because they remind me so much of other. I would love

to see what he thinks of my girls and share my stories about them, but to me it is a matter of relationship

with Jehovah which I hold dearly.

So don.t think that I have written you off, nor think that what I said was easy to tell you. Reconsider

what you are saying If that you don,t want me or mom to ever speak to you or your son again.

asilentone

Do you have the guts to visit her at Bethel?

no more kool aid

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. For us, even when we were "in", family relationships were really really weird. My husbands brother made life so miserable for him when we all went to the same congo, that they have not spoken more than hello for many years. I have family that live in my town that would not bother to make social contact for years. There is just this strange allegiance to the organization that supercedes family closeness and bonding. The only saving grace is that you can change this in your own family (future husband and children). I don't have any of that family closeness either, make good friends.

Elsewhere

Newborn, you have to hit bottom before you can come back up.

It sucks but you will, some how, have to find your way to not caring any more. That's what I had to do.

Praying4Justice

Hang in there Newborn. Don't give up on her, and the love you have for her. . .and hers for you even though she's suppressing that love. I'm sure you go through mixed emotions, but all you can do is hope for the best that maybe one day she'll wake up and realize how much it's not worth losing you for. Even though she's not replying, it may be some comfort to know that she is reading your mail. Stay strong and continue to write her about events in your life that you would love to share with her and ALWAYS bring up the happy memories you both shared and how much you love her and that'll you'll always be there for her. . .no matter what. Take care. . .I wish you well.

How can it be? It's so cruel...