As I look back over the trials and tribulations of
being a Witness, there is one aspect of it that I
never gave much thought about.
Jealousy
It just never occured to me. At one point, my parents
warned me about it - that I should be aware that many
other Witnesses resented success. I was astounded that
one brother expressed joy that I once mispronounced
a word in the Watchtower study. I was horrified that
a sister rejoiced that I was having trouble with my
daughter because now we weren't "so perfect". I just couldn't
believe people reputed to be my friends took such
delight in the failure of others. I tried hard never
to say anything that might be boastful - when I did
the Theocratic School, I deliberately marked my relatives
"weak" on their counsel slip, just to avoid any sign
of favoritism.
When I finally gave up and left the congregation,
an elder from a neighboring hall came by to try to
reactivate me. Why did I have these troubles?
Jealousy, he said.
I now look back and understand how the narrow and
judgemental world of Witnesses feeds on itself. It
gradually comes to resemble some kind of Cold War
East European nation where every neighbors windfall
becomes a reason for despising them.
I also wonder about the whole Ray Franz affair. What
part did jealousy play? I can tell you my personal
experience with the elderly Governing Body members
suggests that he was heads and shoulders above them
in writing and reasoning ability. People like Knorr
angrily steamed in their seats when he said that displays
of affection (like holding hands) between courting
couples was natural and expected. ( sound radical?
Knorr insisted you should never touch as if a Bible
command). I can now read the egotistical glee they
got from condemming him and others as "apostates"
and "worms".
I write this, in particular, because this web site
is loaded with so many talented intelligent people
who walked (or were pushed) away from the organization-
perhaps because of jealousy
metatron