bedroom flatulance

John Doe

This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke.
smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he
would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious
thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back
the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip
as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'Honey, you were right. All
these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.' 'What do you
mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you always told me that one day I would end
up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace
of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back
in.'

mrsjones5

I don't know why no one has replied yet but that was hella funny l Free Smiley Face

Gregor

That's keeper. Very funny!

watson

I don't know why no one has replied yet but that was hella funny ll

I think it's the visual.

Elsewhere

I never fart in bed. It's always that BAD KITTY!

Robdar

ROFL!!

Dayum! Sometimes I wish I were a little more evil and had thought of doing something similar to my ex-husband. His anal trumpets could be heard through closed windows into the back yard.

Priest73

I usually try an save the ole "dutch oven" for the second date.

ninja

me and my mrs lie upside down to each other....bums aimed at each others face.....it's bedroom russian roulette....or "high" noon

crapola

That's hilarious!!! I laughed til I cried.

ninja

why did I know crapola would "follow through" on this topic

bedroom flatulance

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