Does DF'ing Backfire?

metatron

In an organization as obsessed with control as this one is,
I have to wonder if the Society's leadership ever considers how
disfellowshipping can turn against them.

I doubt, when they developed the idea of a person "disassociating
himself", they imagined that this might be used as a way to get
completely free from all Watchtower clutches. Seeing various
people appear on this board DA'ing themselves, it appears that's
what they may have in mind!

And then there's young people:

Johnny Witness hates meetings and field service - and his parents.
What better way to get back at them and leave the boredom behind
than get DF'd for smoking or sex? I note that the Society's
agents are reminding publishers to shun DF'd relatives. It doesn't
take much imagination to realize that an increasing number of
Witness parents now have to deal with DF'd kids - and the more they
do, the more the system of control erodes.

In addition, we have the recent phenomena of DF'd people "meeting"
and comforting each other over the internet - almost like a club!
Such ones are now free to verbally attack the organization openly
and all they wish - and often do, because of the bitterness
generated - not the outcome the Society was looking for, I'm sure!

Finally, there may be a rare but important dilemma created by
the push to shun - what do you do with someone who "knows too
much"?

If I was a Watchtower lawyer - and knew where "the bodies were
buried" - I'd bet I had a "get of jail free" card, courtesy
of the Society!

metatron

joelbear

I think at the very least the Watchtower society has abused the practice of shunning by enabling elders to become enforcers by having them judge the repentence factor of wrongdoers.

If someone commits fornication and isn't sorry enough or if it becomes public knowledge even through gossip, the person is more likely to be disfellowshipped.

In formalizing and ritualizing the process, the process has more power than the simple act of avoiding people you know are practicing sin.

It seems more likely that the first century congregation and christian congregations today were simply being told to avoid mixing in company with people who practiced fornication as a lifestyle, or idolatry or extortion or drunkenness etc. There is no scriptural reference that I know of that talks about older men judging people regarding each sin they commit and determining how sorry they are for committing it. Its not acts of sin that are to be punished, its a lifestyle of sinfulness. A clear change in a person's path from wanting to practice Christianity to not wanting to practice Christianity.

Disfellowshipping, shunning and the processes around it have taken on a life of their own among witnesses that go far beyond the simple scriptural advice not to associate freely and closely with those that clearly do not share your faith.

In addition the formalized process of reinstatement is a stumbling block to those who at some point decide to return to a Christian lifestyle because they simply don't want to go through the ritualized process of being forgiven by a group of 3 men when they simply want to return to worshipping God.

This process has stumbled many and been the total ruin of many people's spiritual lives.

Joel

roybatty

The fact that the great majority of those df'd never go back is an indication of how "loving" this arangement is and that it doesn't work.
Come to think of it, I'd be willing to bet that if the WT stopped the shunning part when df'ing someone, quite a few would end up coming back. I imagine those who, after being df'd for something such as immorality, would after a few years (and after having settled down) desire to again be a JW. But because of not wanting to go through the silent treatment when attending the Hall, they decide against it.
Let's hope that the boys in Crooklyn never figure this out.

dubla

roy-

The fact that the great majority of those df'd never go back is an indication of how "loving" this arangement is and that it doesn't work.

according to yk, the opposite is true....and the majority of those dfd do return to the congregation. i suspect your statement is much closer to actual reality, as most jws simply live in the fantasy world provided to them by the society.....but i was wondering if anyone has any hard stats on this? (dfd ones who return vs. dfd ones who never return)

aa

Mum

I think DF'd JW's are more likely to return if most of their family are "in the truth." I am fortunate enough to be in a family of very few JW's, so there is little pressure on me to return.

Just my observation, not at all scientific.

Regards,
Mum

Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace

I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix

metatron

Joelbear, you raise a good point

Where's the scriptural connection between shunning this person
and the elders? Where's the formality of it? Where's the
reference to judicial committees?

nowhere

metatron

Undecided

Hi Met,

I was in McDonalds this morning talking with my DF'D brother and a mutual friend from our old work place. I noticed a couple of JWs come in, and a few minutes my aunt and another young sister( a daughter of someone I studied with 28 years ago) walked in. They looked at me and never even acknowledged I was there, even though they walked right by me. I guess the reason is becuase I was with my brother.

I thought to myself, if that is how they want to play I will shun them from now on, but I decided I didn't want to stoop to their level, so I guess I will talk to them if they wish.

I hate that attitude of being,"better than you",that the JWs have toward all others. Indeed it may backfire on them.

Ken P.

AMarie

I have to admit that I have often wondered how shunning is the "loving" thing to do and how it will encourage a person to return. This may not be true is most cases, but I've noticed that most disfellowshipped JWs I knew weren't sinning because they were evil people, but because they were going through very hard times and were looking for an escape, even if thier choices weren't the best or most moral. I think when somebody is going through something like this, you would want to surround them with love, not banish them from the congregation and judge them as bad association.

Once a DFd person gets over the initial shock of loosing his/her family and friends, their reaction isn't, "They were doing the loving thing and helping me see the error of my ways." like the society wants. Nine times out of ten, a DFd person tells the society to fuck off and they never return. Yep, I see the DFing policy is REALLY working.

AMarie

ISP

DF'ing does what its supposed to do by the WTS. It effectively silences the wrongdoer..and prevents the R+F contacting the person. The WTS will put up with any 'collateral damage'.

ISP

metatron

Ah, but there's a gaping hole in their scheme!

The anonymity of the internet is allowing df'd people
to communicate freely with other Witlesses. My daughter
knows all the gossip before we do!

metatron

Does DF'ing Backfire?

Share this