Marrying 'Outside of the Lord"

meg1011

I have a situation that I am going thru mostly alone. My 23 yo daughter who lives on her own is getting married to an 'unbeliever'. Her father and I have been divorced for 13 yrs now and live with my mother who is up in years. My husband remarried and has continued to be a very active JW as soon as he was reinstated. I have quit going for the most part and accompany my mother every now and then. I am so heartbroken that my daughter does not have the support of her father. He refuses to have anything to do with the wedding and it is really hurting her and well it is hurting me as well to watch this.

My daughter quit going to the meetings when she turned 18 and moved out from his home. So I dont see where he gets off thinking she is doing something wrong. The phone calls emails and agony are getting to be too much.

Meg

BabaYaga

Hello and Welcome to posting, Meg! Heartiest congratulations to your daughter and yourself for her upcoming marriage.

There is nothing you can do that will change the cult-personality of others. All you can do is be there for your daughter and share in her joy. Celebrate! It is her father who is missing out.

Love to you all,
Baba.

BluesBrother

Enjoy the day with your daughter - rejoice that she is not trapped in the cult.

Within the walls of the WT, to marry outside is a serious matter . A friend of mine lost his eldership when his daughter, who had not practised the faith for years, married outside. His 'crime' was not to shun the wedding. He attended the Registry Office, allowed the couple and friends back to his home for a modest reception afterwards...He was summarily removed from all privileges for being a bad example to flock.

They dare not allow fraternizing with "worldlings"...

Let him get on with it, I dare say his enforced absence saddens him too.

DaCheech

sorry to hear that.... I have seen quite a few friends marry outside. there are cliques in the congo's and people are so choosy.

seems like you have to be a male elder and/or bethellite to qualify for the pretty ones in my area.

and if you're the guy, the gal has to be pioneer.

anybody in-between is a spiritual looser.

wish you the best, and hope you have seen the trap of the watchtower.

P.S. I also to my regret, being not allowed to go to my siblings wedding..... but I did go to the reception after the church service!

megaflower

I understand the hurt you are feeling for your daughter. Her father should be there for his daughter. This is a very special time in her life. It will be his loss and Iam sure your daughter will need you now more than ever. Be happy that both of you are out of that cult and your daughter and possable future grandchildren(not trying to be pushy, ha) will have a normal life with the JW's not interferring and controling them. Support your daughter, listen and just be you. She will understand.

oompa

I would be proud to walk her down the aisle and giver her away!......give her a hug for me and just help her to let go of the pain....she needs to just put him in another little compartment and enjoy her day and all leading up to it............take care guys............oomps

Quandry

The phone calls emails and agony are getting to be too much.

Remember the "Serenity prayer?"

Lord grant me the wisdom to accept what I cannot change.

If you have given it your best shot, then you must turn your attention to making this the best day under the circumstances you have to deal with.

Your daughter needs to feel that she is special. She does not need any more frustration and sadness about her wedding. You can't help the stubborn streak dad seems to be in. He's made his choice. So sorry.

Hope everyone else in your family can work together to make the wedding a beautiful occasion.

meg1011

Thank you so much guys for all your kind words. I tell my daughter every day that this is a happy time in her life and not to worry. My mother is being very helpful as well, not to mention my friends Jack, Jim, Jose who I love to pour over ice.

WTWizard

Go for it--I do not see any problems between an inactive witless that is unlikely to become reactivated and a worldly person. If anything, the worldly person will just pull the inactive witless even further out, which is why they hate it when they marry outside the cancer.

WTWizard

Go for it--I do not see any problems between an inactive witless that is unlikely to become reactivated and a worldly person. If anything, the worldly person will just pull the inactive witless even further out, which is why they hate it when they marry outside the cancer.

Marrying 'Outside of the Lord"

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