Relapse of an Atheist

by rebel8 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  I do not believe at all in the existence of the supernatural, etc.

  I was a Roman Catholic in early childhood and Catholicism is deeply rooted in my culture and community. My happiest childhood memories are from that time, when life was normal and our family was not torn apart by jwism.

  A few times a year, I attend Mass and enjoy it. I allow my mind to imagine what it would be like if it was true. I find it soothing, even though I know I'm not going to change what I actually believe, nor could belief change the facts. The rituals are familiar. I feel my mind and body relaxing deeply.

  My friends are there, the place is familiar and comforting, and I'm reminded of happy, innocent days. Yet if I go more than ~3x a year, the positive feeling wears off.

  For those of you non-theists, do you find this to be the case? A lot of people here say they find it disturbing to attend church.
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  PrimateDave

  I went to a couple of different churches in the past few years I have been out of the Org. One of them was a Catholic Church. I have been invited to a small Evangelical Church recently by some friends of mine. I can talk the Christian talk and certainly have no problems with socializing. I'm not sure I would like to be obligated into attending a Church on a regular basis. I don't foresee any changes in my non-theism in the future. I simply view this as being part of the local human community.

  Dave
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  Satanus

  I understand this. I entered one of those perfectly balanced churches a few months ago, actually, because of the archatecture. Looking up, the art painted on the multidombed cirling, colored light beaming through the stained glass picture winows, the old wood natural and stone, the space... Undescribable feeling of something undescribable. The, back out onto the street, and on w my day. Why spoil it w a pompous priest. I believe that the concievers of thr designs also had an experience something like i did, and were trying to reproduce it in archatecture and then show it or reproduce it in others. The ceremonies may have a similar bent.

  S
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  Satanus

  I'm pantheist, which is supposed to be one step from atheist.

  S
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  AllTimeJeff

  I don't think that what makes you comfortable is wrong at all. Many Catholics for what this is worth get more out of the ceremonial aspects then anything.

  I suppose as long as you don't buy any of the superstitious BS, then you are all good! (don't go to confession!!! :)
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  purplesofa

  Thank-you for posting. I have been feeling nostalgic about my Catholic upbringing lately.

  Although mentally I am sure I am athiest, emotionally I have not caught up yet.

  A former poster that converted to Caholicism and I had a conversation once about his going

  to church.

  even though he did not believe in God.

  He said, sometimes I just want the Magic.

  purps
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  BurnTheShips

  Lately, to believe or not has not been simply an intellectual matter for me to debate on this board. I and my wife have seen things in the last few weeks that I cannot explain. Just Friday last a dark shadow moved across the bedroom ceiling when we came home late from out of town, even our toddler screamed. Both of us have felt a bad presence around our home lately. There are other things, both good and bad, that are not natural. Someone once told me that Satan's greatest power, his only power, was to get us to believe a lie.

  BTS
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  zarco

  Purps

  It seems that religion has adapted itself to meet the needs of populace throughout history. There is certainly nothing wrong for us to use religion from time to time to fill a human need for fellowship, a place to think or "magic".

  It is probably only the Witnesses and a few others who assign deep meaning to attending a service. Glad that you went...... in some ways it shows that you have power over it and use it as you see fit ...

  zarco
• 

  rebel8

  He said, sometimes I just want the Magic.

  Aha!

  I went through Ritual of Christian Initiation for Adults so I could get married in the church. I found it really healing b/c Confirmation was a normal rite of passage I missed out on as a jw, and the jws are such rabid anti-Catholics, I just wanted to kind of undo it. Strange logic on my part.....but it felt good.

  I made a formal apology for calling the church b4 my jw baptism to have my name removed from membership rolls, and for being so rude about it.

  I was candid with the priest about my lack of belief. He was fine with it. He did not require I say the vows aloud during Confirmation.

  He did not require confession. He did not feel women leaders, birth control, or abortion were wrong and didn't agree jws are a cult. He prayed during Sunday mass that the local diocese would do more to rectify the issue of child molestation.

  He invited pastors from other churches to speak during Mass and gave them communion.
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  purplesofa

  I remember writing my letter to have me removed from the Catholic membership. I was not rude, but I remember saying something like they really did not help me with my problems I went through as a teenager...........lol, as if it were their fault!!!!

  I do think we all need some magic and best not to build walls or put our ownselves in boxes on where and how we get it..........providing it is legal!!!

  purps