by lavendar 15 Replies latest jw friends
Our son became involved with the JWs about 4 years ago, due to his JW wife (they married before she was baptized). I don't believe our son is baptized yet.
I was wondering....if a person is NOT baptized yet, do the Elders still put pressure on the person to do more, ie field service, talks, etc. etc.? Or...is that person still treated as if in the honeymoon stage?
Thanks for any info!
Lavendar
Eventually there will come a time when the elders will want your son to committ. To show that he takes his belief and his service to Jah seriously - they will start pushing for him to be baptised, so that he in turn can reach out for ministerial or eldership. If he doesn't he'll always be considered spiritually weak.
Thanks LouBelle.
The poor guy. I have this feeling that he's starting to see through the WTS lies, but doesn't DARE say anything....for fear of losing his Gung-Ho JW wife. At least I HOPE he's starting to see through it...and not just wishful-thinking on my part.
I've been reading lately how the internet has really opened many JWs eyes. That gives me hope for sure!
Lavendar
They'll try to "encourage" him for a while, but eventually will begin to look down on him as a "fencesitter" or "Jehovah's Bystander". After a while his wife will be invited to "get togethers" but he will be left out. That happened to me when I went off the pioneer™ list for health reasons. My ex was getting invitations and told that I wasn't allowed to attend.
Overall, this made it much easier for me to leave the cult.
W
As long as he is married to a JW SHE will continue to bug him which may include her getting the elders involved to bug him to "do more". They are short males to do all the menial jobs they have to run the place. It will be difficult for him to not acquiesce to their pressure. And if he does so just to assuage their desires to put him to work, he will be resentful to them and his wife. I did know a man though, who went to ALL the meetings with his JW wife and both of his kids grew up and were baptized, but he himself never got baptized, never went door to door, never was called upon to do anything because eventually they stopped bugging him about it. Unlike other churches, when you go to the Kingdom Hall it isnt VOLUNTARY after awhile. They will label him, as they label themselves and us...as spiritually weak or a spiritual black hole and yes...as above...she will be invited to gatherings and he will not.
This will be a difficult marriage. Very.
The pressure to "take the dunk" will always be there. It will come from any JWs he comes in contact with. Additinally, if he actually believes the Watchtowers message and theology there is a fair chance he will actually feel as if he has to do more.
I think that is the main thing you should think about. Does he really buy into what the religion is selling him? My father in law has gone to meetings (and even field service) but never really enjoyed it. He simply did it because his wife was very involved and persuaded him. He did have some genuine interest for a while, but eventually that went away. Now he participates every once and a while but it is on his own terms.
Very, very interesting. Thanks for all the comments....as this helps me understand the inner workings and mindset of Witnesses.
DREW: "Does he really buy into what the religion is selling him?"
Boy o boy....how I wish I knew that one for sure! I've asked him some pretty hard questions about the WTS, and hopefully have planted some seeds. Now, my objective is to just maintain a good relationship with him and keep the lines of communication open. Someday, when he wakes up and realizes he's been duped by a cult....he will lose all his "friends". He'll need someone he can trust. That would be me.
Thanks again for the info!
Lavendar
Lavendar,
I sure hope you plant enough seeds before they start having children. My daughter married a JW and got baptized. She told me she would never get extreme in it. Well, she is. Now I have to watch my grand-kids be denied birthday parties, Christmas, Valentines Day parties at school, Halloween parties at school, and not being allowed to say the Pledge.
At one point my grand-son and grand-daughter told me that, if I do birthday and Christmas, I worship Satan. Of course I set them straight on that.
I just think you need to do all you can before he gets to involved.
Hi Cawshun,
Ohhhh, I'm sorry.....I feel for you so much. It's a REAL FEAR I have that my son & dil will have a child someday.....and that child, my precious grandchild, will be forced to live the deprived JW life. JW children are really the ones who suffer the most.
I'm glad for you...at least...you are allowed to see your grandkids. I've read lots of stories where the "unbelieving" grandparents are cut off from their grandchildren. It really is a horrific and sickening organization, isn't it?
Lavendar
Lavendar, I hope something happens one day to open their minds, like so many on this forum had their eyes opened to the WT. I get so excited everytime I see another JW leave the cult. Keeps me thinking it COULD happen. I hope for your sake, your son can see through this false religion before you have a grand-baby. Keep our fingers crossed.
