Elder Who Served on My JC - His Inactive Son is Foreman at One of my Jobs

by flipper 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  This was an interesting experience I had a couple of weeks ago. One of the elders who tried to DF me 2 years ago unsuccessfully - his 28 year old son is a foreman at one of the offices I clean. We had an interesting conversation when I saw him early one morning when he came in. He still remembered me, even though it had been 5 years since we last saw each other.

  Come to find out - he had moved down to the valley away from the mountain area I lived in. I briefly mentioned what had happened 5 years ago for me to stop attending meetings. ( Basically I was offended at the elders telling me to take back my dangerous drug abusing wife because it would put my witness daughters in danger. The elders had told me that if said druggie wife was uncomfortable with my witness daughters coming to visit in our home - that I should go visit them at a neutral place , like a park or something. ) Such loving brothers, ick.

  The elders son's response surprised me ! He said, " That is awful the elders told you that ! " Shaking his head. I said my daughters safety was of my utmost concern, and it shook my faith so much ( among other reasons ) I went right to my seat before the meeting, picked up my books , and never went back to another meeting. Then I carefully asked him, " Are you still attending meetings ? " He said, " Not very often. I go sometimes, but just kind of. " Then when I mentioned that I had seen other examples over the years of elders committing injustices towards others - he lost his authentic personality and his cult personality came to the defense of the organization ! He said, " Well, not ALL the elders are bad. " He continued, " I've known some really good, nice elders. " So back pedaled a bit and agreed with him. I stated, Oh ! I agree. There were a number of good elders who served out of love with right motives - however I saw some who did not, and that bothered me a lot. "

  So- With that I continued cleaning, said it was good to see him, and I asked how his father was doing ? He said, " Well, my younger teenage brother committed fornication , so my dad was removed as an elder . " Not wanting to sound too gleeful about his father's plight I said, " I'm sorry to hear that. Well, you know young people. " He agreed with a smile. So I went on cleaning and he was real nice when I left and said, " Have a safe trip. " As it was snowing outside. So what do you guys and gals make of this experience ? Do you think this guy is totally faded ? Or - Just hanging on a little going to meetings to just keep contact with his witness family ? I hope to have some more conversations with him in the future. As always I look forward to your comments. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper
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  OUTLAW

  "he lost his authentic personality and his cult personality came to the defense of the organization ! He said, " Well, not ALL the elders are bad. " He continued, " I've known some really good, nice elders. " .........He`s still hanging on to the WBT$ Mindset ..

  ...OUTLAW
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  drew sagan

  He's just one of those lost souls that walks around saying to himself "if only i got my act togeather"

  They go back and forth. Deep down they probably believe that the world still revolves around the JWs (what else do they have?). They go back, think about going back, ect. They stay on the fringes. Sometimes they make a great big effort to go back, lasts a few months, then they fade out again. It's up and down.

  I was different because I grew up OUTSIDE of the reilgion. That means I had my old self to fall back on. All of my old ideas about life and other people and their religons. But if a young person who was raised in "the truth" leaves without realizing the true error of the religion they tend to be rather confused. Some ignore religion all togeather, some walk around with terrible guilt. It's a real mixed bag.
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  I've known some kind elders, but I'm not holding onto the WBTS mindset. I think it's going to take more conversations than that to figure out where he stands.
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  chellechelle

  Well to me what it seems like is he is one of those people who believes what the wittnesses have to say but doesnt know how to correctly implement it in their lives. They feel as if they should have certain things they can do since it is only natural. and then with the economy etc. as it is people jsut do not ahve the time to go to do something they do not fully believe in or want to do. In my opinion he sees the weaknesses of the religion and some things that are wrong about it but he is still holding onto the belief system, even if he does not go to meetings.

  it is similar to what i did. i guess what he is doing is fading in a way. but i stil went to meeting for a year but never went to service and missed about half of the meetings per month, some things i couldnt get over that i thought were true, and others i knew were wrong. i also felt that i should be free to live my life..

  and talking to you in disbelief of something his father had said to you sure shows that atleast he has his head on his shoulders.he will probably realize what a fade is and will be leaving soon, for how it sounds anyways. some of the information they feed you, since it is in a form of mind control, is very hard to get over, so people cannot just leave.
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  drew sagan

  Oh, just wanted to add another thing.

  A few years back I had a JW kid working for me. He was on the fringes as well. His dad was DF'd for cheating on his wife. Eventually he married the other woman and they both got reinstated. His dad went from being an elder to being seen as total loser, talked about, gossip, ect.

  Anyway, this threw the kid to the fringes of the organization. He would fade in and fade out. Eventually he started working for me and some late nights we would talk. That was when I knew I wanted to leave.

  I could tell he was struggling with the JWs, didn't know what quite to believe. Eventually he became very defensive and gave some pretty absurd arguments for why he couldn't talk about the subject any more (he was scared but didn't want to admit it). Eventually he went back to the org full force, thinking that would help out his life. It was kind of silly. One week questioning if there was a god, the next week going to all the meetings. Real up and down, indecisive.

  I'm going to guess this fellow is somewhere in that realm.
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  primitivegenius

  he is one of those people the jws LOVE to see. he leaves the "troof" gets into bad sh**, immoral, drugs, drinkin, ect...... realizes that its wrong and not the way a person should live........... then he comes back to the "troof". so that means we are doing whats right and are more righteous than him......... instead of helping him out we shall view him as bad association......... and use him as an example of what not to do......... or to show that the world is evil and bad.

  seeeeeeee that proves theres nothing else out there.................. (PUKE)
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  jws

  When when I mentioned that I had seen other examples over the years of elders committing injustices towards others - he lost his authentic personality and his cult personality came to the defense of the organization ! He said, " Well, not ALL the elders are bad. "

  It's hard to say and his tone and body language don't come through in his quote. I've been an ex-JW for about 18 years now and I'm VERY convinced that I made the right choice. However, I will defend the witnesses when people are making statements or generalizations that aren't true. I believe there are good elders who haven't let power go to their heads, who aren't so focused on punishment, and who do really care for others. They're still following a crazy, mixed-up religion. But they can be good and sincere.
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  loosie

  I know I felt really justified when the elder that was heading my JC for loose conduct ( man he was a pompuos A**) a few years later his daughter moved out of the house and had sex with everyone she could. You gotta love poetic justice.
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  flipper

  Great comments by you all ! Good viewpoints.

  OUTLAW- I agree. He IS still hanging onto the JW mindset . Indeed.

  DREW SAGAN- What a sad experience of the young man who worked for you. It's too bad he was so confused about life and what he wanted. I agree about the young man in my thread - I too think he is on the fringes, confused, just hanging around to be somwhat connected to his JW family. He was raised in it- so yes, that's probably it.

  BONNIE & CLYDE- I agree with you. I DO think it will take more conversations with this guy to figure where he is at in JW land. I too have been out 5 years - but I don't defend the elders.

  CHELLECHELLE- You are probably right. This guy probably doubts some things in witnessville , but isn't so sure on other things. So he just kind of hangs around going to occasional meetings - just in case he thinks the witnesses are right. He probably will fade more - especially if I get to have more conversations with him !

  PRIMITIVE GENIUS- Yeah, he probably will drift in and out and he may get caught doing stuff- however this guy seems like a smart cat . Pretty quick on the uptake of not giving out too much info. So we shall see. Hope I get to talk with him again.

  JWS- Oh- I believe there are some good elders as well who serve with the right motives. But I feel they are in the minority. From what I observed while in - I think 65 % of the elders serve to get recognition, notoriety, and to be looked up to. 35 % serve because they truly love the brotherhood and want to help people sincerely. Just my take. But I never defend the organization - just authentic good actions by the people .

  LOOSIE - Yes - Poetic justice is sweet, isn't it ? I figured this guys elder dad got just bad Karma for trying to DF me ! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper