Do you have a "lab rat" friend in your life? (page 2)

kurtbethel

That seems unproductive. Sometimes I am a dick, or irresponsible, or wrongheaded, or most often just cranky. Creating a story for someone in which I am not any of those things seems like play pretending and a waste of time. I know someone does that to me, a close relative who is always right and all his opponents are wrong. I just don't buy it though.

betterdaze

Yes, of course it is human nature but is it good to cultivate a confidant that only hears your side?

It is selfish, manipulative and sometimes abusive.

There are two sides to every story. Ask any cop, lawyer or judge.

Is it really honest?

Of course not. Deception is at the very heart of the practice.

But that doesn't hinder the formation of easily-exploited "lab rat" groupies on Internet discussion boards.

~Sue

beksbks

I don't think Gregor is talking about Internet discussion boards.

Sad emo

I'm currently being eaten alive by someone else's lab rat

Oh the irony - we work in...

a lab!!

Robdar

I have a gf who was always trying to make me her lab rat--constantly bitching about her boyfriend. I tried everything to shut her up--pointed out his good traits, reminded her of the fun they had together. Nothing worked, it just fueled her fire.

Finally, one day, I told her that he obviously wasnt good enough for her and I hated his freaking guts. I called him an a$$ho, andasked her if she wanted me to take a broom handle to him. I then asked her if she would help me place his battered body out in a field after the beating. She immediately started to defend him. I then told her she couldn't have it both ways, either she gave me some peace by keeping her domestic problems to herself or she helped me beat his ass. And since she wasn't going to help me beat his ass, I didn't want to hear about their problems anymore. She has never called me to bitch about him again.

And when she does call me to bitch about somebody else, I tell her she's bumming me out and I have enough problems of my own. I tell her I have to go and I'll call her back. Which I do, 2 weeks later. By that time, the latest drama has died down. I have discovered that if you do not respond to the belly aching, the complainer will find somebody else to bitch to.

It's good to have peace.

Bubblie

I have distanced myself from others and their problems lately. However, they want to continue to drag up old business even having others join in their fest of hating me. Most of you don't know me so don't go there. Remember, there are two sides to every story. His is from his side of the table and may not be the real thing and mine is from my point of view. It is hard to think how the loyalties to those not here on this board, run so deep. I will not be a lab rat for him or her or their friends here. I am not going away.

Kit

FlyingHighNow

I try not to do that. I also consider, when being told of someone's relatioship challenges, that I am only hearing one side and maybe a sanitized version. There are ALWAYS two sides.

Satanus

Are christians god's/jesus' labrats? I refuse being anybodies lab rat.

S

AWAKE&WATCHING

For example: maybe you are having a feud with a third party and you tell your little rat how unfairly you are being treated and how long suffering you are. You keep your supporter up to date on all developments and soon they are ready to kill the other party for you! This sort of thing is common with marital problems.

It's too bad that these little rats (especially the ones that know both parties but have heard only one side) don't realize that we were in a cult because we were conditioned not to listen to the other side. It doesn't necessarily help someone to tell them what they want to hear. Sometimes people need to take responsibility for their own actions and a true friend would help them see that - not just be a "yes" man.

AWAKE&WATCHING

Some people LIKE the taste of the kool-aid, drink down every drop, the whole kit and caboodle, without even considering how toxic it is.

I love this board and I am glad to have made true and lasting friendships here. I am very happy with the changes in my life even though that means I can't post here as much as I used to.

Being a true friend isn't about telling you how great you are or how wronged you were. A true friend helps you to see what lessons can be learned ABOUT YOURSELF so as to help you better your future.

Rats feed on garbage.

Do you have a "lab rat" friend in your life?

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