LOL on your Valentine's Day comment.
I'm too over the hill now to care about that. Hope you got over it, though. j/k ;-)
That is very kind of your boss to help you out. Isn't it grand? That is awesome!
I also think it was very kind hearted, if not downright noble of you to stick it out for so long with your mate. There's only so much a person can do sometimes, especially if they don't want you around. She herself may not even realize what is happening to her.
She's obviously in a bad hurtin' kind of way, per what you said, that three-pronged-attack hitting her from every part of her triune-being at about the same time, that's enough to make anyone go nutzo (I speak from experience):
- spirit (she left "truth"),
- soul (serious childhood issues),
- body (work injury).
(Side note FWIW, and I didn't know this when I was a JW, but the way everyone else in the Christian world understands "soul" is that it is our MIND - WILL - EMOTIONS - INTELLECT - IMAGINATION. I was thrilled to learn that so-simple explanation after so many years. Makes so much sense.)
May the very God of peace sanctify YOU completely. And sound in every respect may the spirit and soul and body of YOU [brothers< brothers added by W T] be preserved in a blameless manner at the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who is calling YOU is faithful, and he will also do it. - 1st Thess. 5:23,24 - NWT<<WT Bible.
I have read your full story before, but admit I forget the details. What struck me about your mate's three-pronged attack is I went through the same thing close to 20 years ago now, when I was a few years older than yourself. It was when I was "waking up" from the "truth" after getting myself all well via fasting after years of physically degenerating (during JW years, but which really began at a high stress job 30 years ago at a newspaper). But the Lord ("Jehovah" then) led me to the answer, fasting, so it started out as the BEST time, but turned into a nightmare, and it came as a three-pronged attack, somewhat similar...
Spirit - After doing a 21-day fast, it cleans out your spirit, and for the first time I could "sense" something was off, first began noticing how often the WT crammed "THE ORGANIZATION" down our throats in every piece of literature. Had never noticed it before in 10 years. It began to bother me and I began doubting the borg and "drifting" internally, but didn't know any other way, so figured it was ME who was messed up, not the Borg, of course. If I had known then what I know now, that the Holy Spirit was trying to SHOW ME in my spirit about the Borg. -- Anyway, that all came first. Kept "pushing it down" so as not to think about it too much.
Soul - Work: new "mean" 2nd boss came on board, hated me for some reason (I'd been there for a decade and was the "floater" who worked whenever I wanted. He hated that, gave me H from Day 1, so I began living in fear of him...He would lurk around the office silently, dark and moody and silent and stand behind you and not say anything, would totally creep me out -- other boss was loud and obnoxious easier to deal with that type, lol. Mean 2nd boss didn't let up harrassing me for three years, cut my pay, took my desk, made me buy my own office supplies, etc. all kinds of weird stuff). That all came second. Stress plus Fear.
Soul cont'd - Double whammie on the soul. Sometime in there fell in love with Mr. Wrong who literally came "waltzing" into my life not long after I got my health in great shape, so I took my attention off the WT (spirit) and put it all on him (soul), and let the JWs df me. In short measure, Mr. Wrong turned out to be a loon (drinker, smoker, mind-games loon) and brought out my old loon-wounds (fears, rejection, abondonment, etc. etc.), which led to my first coming to read/learn about/understand all my childhood rape issues, etc. What a nightmare all of that was. Not only mine but found out the entire family of siblings also had been, etc. So that is Fear x Three Sources going on.
Body - After that three short years of healthy bliss, I quickly began degenerating again physically within the first year of being w/Mr. Wrong (plus major stress from both of the above work/financial/job, soul/spiritual issues); then was in a car-train wreck w/Mr. Wrong (body), car totalled, etc.; and on down hill from there. Add Financial Fear. Oh, and I began SMOKING again not long after the accident, after being free of cigs for the entire 11 years as a dub. ;-Q That was one instance where the scripture beat me over the head all the time, "Bad association spoils useful habits." ;-/
Result: Total crash in my entire triune-being. Sounds like your mate might be dealing with a somewhat similar "total being" crash!
All these years later I can look back and "analyze" the situation. I've said for several years now, the Devil (yes I believe in God vs. the Devil), well, the Devil realized I was "waking up" to the WT first, and promptly sent in his dupes to take me down from every angle. Yup. I had gotten healthy, liked myself for the first time in my entire life, first boss gave me a big fat raise, was doing Grrrrreat! Then WHAMMO! Boom, Boom, Boom, one after another the attacks began, Meanie Boss, Finances, Harrassment, Fear, forgot to add my younger brother died right in here as well who had been more abused by the perv than any of the others, from the time he was five years old ;-/ but we didn't even KNOW IT when he died at 32 yrs old; then "Love/Hate" relationship w/Mr. Wrong << biggest nightmare of all, then auto-train wreck, more financial pressures, then childhood abuse in entire family came out in open, then my health totally gave out again (and my mind, too!)... filed bankruptcy, lost job (was almost a relief to get away from meanie boss), and the "disability years" began... more financial pressures and can't get anything done physically at the same time, etc. etc.
Well, anyway, so what's the point of all of this? I have no doubt the Devil wanted to destroy me. I was coming out of the "WT-blind" so he used a three-pronged attack to make sure if I didn't stay in the JW-fog, then he would "take me down" in other ways.
Then again, the Lord allowed it all, so He must have wanted some of that "inner stuff" to "come out." Problem is -- due to still having WT-teaching in my head, I didn't know the Lord was on my side all those years so I did not reach out to him, but went in the opposite direction. It would be six years after I lost that job before I connected with Christianity again, slowly but surely, and began learning what real Christianity is. And I did it all from right at home via the Christian TV channels and internet. Mr. Wrong was still around off and on all those years. I was in total bondage to him, soul-wise, and you could say spirit-wise as well (I made him my "god" and "idol.") But a few more years go by and I am ready for him to be OUT of every fiber of my being but felt hopelessly trapped in that regard, but by now I could pray and ask for HELP! I said, "Before this next year is over, my 50th year of being alive, I want to be FREE of that guy in EVERY way!" And sure enough, Jesus came through! It took about three months to get untangled and then it was totally OVER with no looking back, and zero regrets. Didn't even MISS the guy. Now THAT was a MIRACLE of epic proportions! That's been five whole years now. So I figure the Lord was waiting for me to ASK. Duh! Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Slow learner. The good news is: All the Christians say: THE BIGGER THE TEST, THE BIGGER THE REWARD. So I'm on the lookout for that. ;-)
Something else I've learned since then: When any person asks Jesus to be their Savior (which I had actually done after finding a real "Christian tract" 30 years ago, before I ever met any JWs), but if you ask him to forgive you of your sins, and do believe in his death/burial/resurrection paid for our sins, then we are automatically SEALED PERMANENTLY by the Holy Spirit of Promise* for salvation, and you can NEVER LOSE your salvation, yes, no matter WHAT you do. (We can lose fellowship with Him now, and rewards in heaven, depending on how we conduct ourselves in our bodies since coming to know Him, but we cannot lose our salvation). I think that is why he kept me alive all those years... so many times came so close to death. I was truly one of His all those years and didn't even know it. What a tragedy. Truly, "My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge."Hosea 4:6 or 6:4 I can never remember which.
But that is why I included the whole verse at the beginning, especially this part: "He who is calling YOU is faithful, and he will also do it."
And this one as well: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose." - Romans 8:23
Anyway, I have no idea if this will help. I did not start out to write all this, but here it is. If you think it would ever help your mate, feel free to keep a copy for the right timing. Who knows. At least she'll know others have been through similar nighmarish experiences. ;-/
You sound like you just might be OK, though, think? Hope you keep doing well and can get resettled in a new routine and move forward, one foot in front of the other at a time. ;-)
Much success!
Blessings,
/ag
PS: FWIW, I got VALIDATION in later years about that meanie creepy boss. God is great, I know it was him who provided this validation. It's been, good grief, already 8-9 years now, but the best "shrink" I ever had, who was actually like a real human being, anyway, he was moving away to the MidWest, and it was his VERY LAST DAY, and I just happened to mention that meanie boss's name in conversation for the FIRST TIME EVER, and how silently creepy he had been, etc., and the doc said, "I KNOW Jim... I KNOW E-X-A-C-T-L-Y WHAT YOU MEAN..." -- Ha! I about fell over. So I was RIGHT! The guy WAS a creep! It wasn't ME afterall. If I had not mentioned his name (not really "Jim") that day, I would never have gotten that delicious piece of validation!
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* "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.In Him you also [trusted,] after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory." - Ephesians 1:11-14
FWIW, "until the redemption of the purchased possession" refers to our SOULS (mind-will-emotions-intellect, etc.) and our BODIES (in the flesh). Our SPIRIT has already been REDEEMED, but until the Lord comes for us, and we are still in our flesh and in our souls/minds, we WILL struggle, and we WILL sin. But he PAID for those sins already, which is why we are "JUSTIFIED" and "Made Righteous" not by ANYTHING we can do, but ONLY by what HE already DID. It's a DONE DEAL! ;-) So it's available for anyone to accept it. Praise God!
