by superman 13 Replies latest jw friends
I've lived in both small towns and big cities. I would have to say that small JW's are by far the worst. They tend to be much fanatical, close minded, creepy, and wierd. Not too mention it is so much harder to fade if you live in a small town. I actually had some JW's stake out at my job (near my parked car) and wait for me to come out so that they could "encouRAGE" me to how I was doing, and try to get me to come back. So what's your vote
1 vote for Small Town JW's
Small town. The gossip is atrocious.
Well, in my experience, the big city JWs are the worst. More impersonal, more rigid, more cold, and more isolated. Also, much more unwelcoming to new people.
I would agree that it is probably much harder to fade in a small town.
The gossip is probably worse in a small town too.
I have lived in and been a JW in both small towns and one large city. The small towns did seem to offer a warm, support group to their JW brothers and sisters. Not at all in the large city. The whole experience was a nightmare for my family.
This should be an easy answer,but it depends. I was born and raised in Boston. But I moved to Small town Texas, south of Houston and finished my high school years. I now in the the bright lights of houston,or suburban Houston.
I found the small town to more friendly,warm. BUT ..........it's key that you stay Lock-step with the congo. For me, that meant pioneering, talks, basically being the good dub and such. I found most of the brothers and sisters my age at the time ( there were about 15 of us going to two high schools ) were hell bent on getting the hell out. Sisters usually married A. An Bethelite B. Brother from da big city ANYBODY to get far away from where they were.
The area I lived in was made up of three cities ,25,000,11,000 and 6,000 in number. One Mall, Wal-Mart ( It's small town Texas ! ) the ONLY movie theatre was in the Mall, and the other was a two screen place not too far away. Houston was a good hour drive.
Now....I live in Houston. 4th biggest city in the country. Thanks to Katrina and the influx of people, We may be creeping up on Chicago. You can get lost in a big city quick, and literally vanish. There are halls here with 225+ publishers, 4,5 congos to a hall. Unlike smalltowns, it can be a bit colder though. That family feel kinda goes away. Alot of people with Careers, and keeping up with the Joneses within the Congo and surrounding area.
Myself, I unintentionally faded or became inactive. I got an invite to Spanish from a friend,had some rough times and *poof* gone. In the city, I found out, ( well I 'll speak for this area ) there is so much to get into . So many are doing so much,as I've read in past posts. I'm sure many are living a double life.
It's funny, when I got to Houston, and went to my first gathering it was NIGHT and DAY. In the small town, it was alot of country western two step, some LIGHT alternative, Pop, and very old school rap if any. EVERYONE was closely monitered.
Big City- Everything. Tootsie Roll,Poping Collars, the whole 9 yards. I'll never forget asking a brother, " Are you going to dance to that ? "
He's like, "sure why not "
Small towns are the worst to do anything fun,or fade. If you move, you're new home will probably be covered soon, or by the neighboring Congo.
The advantage to Houston is that it spreads. I've been to LA and I trully think Houston is bigger. This place SPRAWLS like a mother.
One advantage about a big city is that there is likely to be more than one congregation in the Kingdumb Hell. You can switch congregations informally, switch back and forth, and then start missing boasting sessions altogether when each side thinks you may have gone to the other. Plus, they are more likely to argue about whose turn it is to hound you this time.
If it was a small town, they would have had no trouble figuring out that I was just missing boasting sessions instead of possibly going to the other side, and they would know whose turn it is to hound me.
My experience with both- small town JW's are more brutal with gossip and knowing each other's business.
Small town JW's expect you to stay with the JW's only much more than the big city JW's.
Big city JW's are often more distant from each other, saying at the end of a meeting, "See ya next meeting."
They don't know what is going on in each other's lives, sometimes even having no clue what each family
situation is concerning employment, health, family in the religion or out. They don't expect you to stay with
the group on your off-time from the hall as much, and they don't ask what movies you have been seeing.
It's less personable, and it's more tolerable to most.
Small town gets my vote. They make it thier business to know all of your business. The smaller the town the worse the gossip and backbiting.
Most of my experience comes from small-town/small city congregations. Though I had friends in big city congregations and spent some time visiting those congregations.
I can agree that there was a lot of fanaticism, gossip, busybodyness, etc. in the smaller community congregations. To some degree, that's all they had. There was nothing else to occupy their mind or their time.
But there seemed to be more socializing between dubs in the smaller towns. They relied on each other more. At the time that I was still in, I thought that was pretty good. The big city dubs seemd more distant, not as socialable. It may have been that they were more cliquish than the smaller town groups. They had more people to choose from to make friends (or who they could trust to not squeel on them).
Now that I can look in from outside, I see that being in a smaller town is harder when it comes time to try to be independant or live your life as you see fit. You're reminded of every little rule and principle. You can't hide in small towns. In the big cities, you can melt into the crowd and go days and weeks without having any interaction with other JWs outside of the meetings.
Try going to an R-rated movie in a town with one movie house and you're gonna get spotted by the family going to see the latest Pixar family flick. In a bigger city with multiple movie houses, you can travel out of the congregation territory and catch an R-rated movie and not worry so much about being noticed. The same goes for any "questionable" activity. In a small town, even if a JW didn't see you at the club dancing the Macarana while doing Jager bombs, a friend of a friend who knows you're a JW saw you and tells someone else who tells someone who knows an elder.
I have been in several small town congos. These congos seem to have more distinct "personalities" than the larger ones I have been to.
One was an especially loving congo, close and caring of one another, while another seemed to suffer from depression. Like depression was contagious and most had gotten it.
One small congo I went to was close to a bigger city and it was a bit more of a social congo. People were moving in and out of the territory and there were
alot of visitors, it was one of the more interesting congos I attended, the people were more interesting.
It seems to me that in bigger city congos, the talks are better, the speakers seem to be more educated, and the people are not as close.
I went to a therapist early on after I was baptised then DF, he went through the process with me, He told me,
"You can outgrow a congregation" He sincerely felt I had learned all I was going to get from being in that congo, that I had outgrown the mentality of it.
I think smaller congos make it very hard to make changes and old behaviour to be forgotten, much like living in a small town.
purps
small town hands down!!...lets say there 40 percent hardcore...and 30 percent loons...small town means small congo...mine was only 52 so without doing the math there were maybe 13 NORMAL people there........small gene pool..........oompa
plus..big city means lots of distractions...thus more fun...thus wilder congo...esp west coast and FL.....crazy fun congos!
