Newbie here with questions.

AjaxMan

Hello, everybody! I am a newbie here. I am not a JW, never was and I don't think I will ever be. My last statement is due to the fact that I did read a lot of posts from this forum and about the JWs in other sites. Although I am not either JW or ex-JW, I hope I can post questions or participate in the forum.
Reading the experiences from a lot of you, it really touched my heart on how much suffering a lot of you have gone through. Therefore, I will give my experience:
It deals with friendships that I forged with some of them throughout the year. Especially, I met a girl. She was very nice and very personable. I didn't find out that she was a witness when I ask her if she celebrates the 4th of July, she said that she doesn't because she is a JW. At the time, I didn't know anything about them and I ask why? all she could answer me was: "well, from the scriptures, it makes sense why not celebrating it." So, I just left it at that. It's true that we always had friendly chats and enjoy each other's company. Well, to get to the point which are my questions:
When she is acting so nice and personable with everyone, is she just acting?
Is her being nice just a "facade"?
Is her being nice and friendly just a way to try to convert people?

I'd like to know because I do love my friends and I certainly don't want fakes. Since she's a JW, I don't know what her true intentions are.

Hopefully, I get responses from you guys.

If you want a more detailed story, you can email me.

Thanks.

Ajax

Mulan

There are some sincere, very nice people, who are Jehovah's witnesses. I hope she is one of them, and I would say don't be suspicious of her motives. Maybe she really likes you, and wants to convert you, but you can help her too, now that you know something about them, from the boards. Ask her some questions? Like: "Why did the Watchtower Society join up with the United Nations?" "Is it true you shun people who leave your group?" "Why can't they just leave, and not be JW's anymore." etc. etc.

By the way, welcome to our world.

Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)

Farkel

ajax,

Welcome to the board. It's impossible to answer you questions with certainty, because no one can read another's mind. I can only comment in general about how JWs operate.

She was very nice and very personable.

Yes, many JWs are like that.

I didn't find out that she was a witness when I ask her if she celebrates the 4th of July, she said that she doesn't because she is a JW. At the time, I didn't know anything about them and I ask why? all she could answer me was: "well, from the scriptures, it makes sense why not celebrating it." So, I just left it at that.

Well, it is NOT in the scriptures. JWs use Jesus' words about being "no part of the world, just as I am no part of the world" to justify their disapproval of celebrating the Fourth of July. The Fourth of July represents a celebrating of our freedom and independence. Period. The Watchtower Society HATES freedom and independence for its members.

It's true that we always had friendly chats and enjoy each other's company. Well, to get to the point which are my questions:
When she is acting so nice and personable with everyone, is she just acting?
Is her being nice just a "facade"?
Is her being nice and friendly just a way to try to convert people?
I'd like to know because I do love my friends and I certainly don't want fakes. Since she's a JW, I don't know what her true intentions are.

As I said, it is hard to say what her motives are. But I know this, if she's a loyal JW, she believes that her God will slaughter you and all others who are not JWs "real soon now." They are indoctrinated to get as many people into their religion as possible, because they believe their religion is the only way to salvation.

Whether she is attracted to you in other ways is up to you to determine, but I will warn you: if you should perchance marry this woman, you will likely regret it. She's in a Cult and you couldn't help but be affected by that should you end up in a relationship with her.

Farkel

"I didn't mean what I meant."

Xena

Who really knows the thoughts and motives of another person Ajax? I am sure she is nice to you because you are a nice person..if she has another motive...well I guess it will eventually surface.

Some JW's live to convert others...some wish they could lead normal lives and so live double lives with "worldly" people as their friends..the double life ones tend to shy away from any mention of their religion whereas the ones that want to convert you will constantly bring it up...course these are just generalizations...

If it was me...I would just be her friend...and see what happens...

Nice to meet you by the way

SixofNine

Of course, since we ain't she , we can't really say authoritatively. But realise that for all the negatives of their religion, Jehovah's Witnesses are just people, individuals. It is true that they are brainwashed into suppressing their humanity at times, in fact, often times.

As to your question specifically,

Is her being nice just a "facade"?
Is her being nice and friendly just a way to try to convert people?

My guess would be a little of both. One way to understand this is to think about how you might genuinely want to be her friend, genuinely want only the best for her, and genuinely want to get in her pants at the same time. I'm not saying that is the case in this specific situation, but I think you can understand that it is very possible to have complex motives.

AjaxMan

I just like to continue our friendship. Since she is a JW, I am aware of the consequences of getting involved romantically as Farkel pointed out. I just hope she doesn't think that because I am "worldly" that means that I am evil(from their mindset). Otherwise, if we befriended, I hope what she is doing is "Hypocrisy" as I read on many posts that JWs should not or must not associate with "worldly" people.

Ajax

AjaxMan

I almost forgot!

I like to thanks everyone here who posted a response to my questions.

GinnyTosken

When I was a JW teenager, I had "worldly" friends. I owe them a huge debt, because they asked me hard questions about my religion, got me to think, and pushed me to go to college.

I sincerely liked them, and my being nice to them was not just a facade. Still, my feelings about these worldly friends were very mixed. I was drawn to them by their intelligence and humor, but at the same time felt that having worldly friends was a guilty indulgence. I was wrong to allow myself this bad association and stupid to get attached to people who would likely die at Armageddon. The closer we became, the more difficult my dilemma.

As long as I believed the JW teachings, there was always a mild wall of paranoia up against these friends. I felt there was much that they did not understand and much that they couldn't see because they were blinded by Satan. Because they didn't accept the moral code outlined by the Watchtower Society, I thought they had no moral code at all.

Looking back, I'm surprised they put up with me. Warmth and friendliness could alternate with self-righteous judgment and withdrawal.

At the very least, I would be prepared for mixed and confusing signals from your friend.

Ginny

TheRecordCollector

Ajax...refer to what I told BlueMoon in his post "What do JW's do New Years Eve".

You'll find it just below this post.

Good luck my friend

TRC

Nathan Natas

Hi AjaxMan,

As with almost any other societal grouping, you will find a range of personalities among JWs. It is quite likely that this girl is as kind and sweet as she seems to be, but because she is a witness, there is an invisible barrier between the two of you - the US/THEM dichotomy.

I would encourage you to try asking her some of the questions suggested above - you may just end up with a friend you've saved from a life of mental slavery - or you might get to see a robot hop about the room caught in a logical endless loop.

Newbie here with questions.

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