Hmm I don't find too many situations anymore where there is a clear connection between JW beliefs and present thinking. However I do find more subtle indicators. One example for me is that since we left (my daughters and I) we have celebrated holidays together. We have made our own traditions and developed our own way of celebrating. This is great for us but when we celebrate with others as we do now that they are grown and out living their own lives I feel awkward.
It seems that I don't always know the customs for certain holidays. I would dread having to say a blessing before a meal as some families do even if only on a holiday. I no longer feel scared when buying a lotto ticket but I feel silly having to ask people how to play the game. Or voting - really scary - not because I thought it was wrong or would be seen but because I didn't know what to expect.
It seems I spend a lot of time learning things that other people just learned a long time ago. They aren't big things and not serious just reminds me of what we missed out on and still have to learn about the world we live in
Do I still think like a witness? - It is easy to do so ,especially if spend time in conversations with relatives who practice it - it is simple to slip back into mode .
Christmas ? I admit that I allow workmates to leave me out of it because I dont want to do it. Although I have got a small gift for a special friend without a qualm of conscience
JBean : I know how it feels to be really disappointed when I realised that I was not going to live forever,that the New World was a just a dream , and worst of all , I am going to get old before I die. But what the hell? As someone hear said " We had better enjoy what we have got while it is here.
I can totally relate to your post Lady Lee. I find that I don't know "how" to celebrate stuff. Like I was so pleased with myself for making Happy Birthday phone calls....didn't realize I could like -- send a card--make a cake--buy a present....
what a idiot!!
I am proud to say I am making some progress albeit slow...but trying...I suppose it doesn't help that Muslims only have Ramadan and their Eids to celebrate...but I don't practice that too well either...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts as always...sometimes this board is my best touch with reality...and whether I am normal or not!!
Doctrinally - NO. I have shed the entire body of JW doctrine and am rebuilding. (I am not inviting comments here. I know some of you object to this approach. Just commenting on what part of me still thinks like a Witness)
What I find is that I still have many of the same attitudes that were acceptable as a Witnes but are clearly not compatible with the real world. I find it hard to just let live, without having to believe in anything in particular, or not judging someone who has a strong belief in animism (for example) as "weird". I also do not pay attention to the holidays, but I think I should try to be more observant because these times are clearly special in my community.
I don't concern myself with whether I am going to live forever or not. I have a very comfortable view of time and eternity in my own mind and I realized a long time ago that the never dying idea was a misunderstanding. Even for a Christian that idea is nonsense. A careful re-reading of the Bible will show that there was never a hope of avoiding death. Beyond that there is the obvious truth that all men and women die. Always have. Always will. Might as well get used to the idea, regardless of what you think about an afterlife.
