My radical shifts

by AK - Jeff 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    For the best part of 48 years of my life, most would not be able to separate the views I had at 18, with those I ended my witless career at 48.

    Now, over a period of 5 years, I have changed, molded, vascilated regarding spirituality, religion, God, sex, money, nationalism, etc, etc., almost more times than I can count. My views are constantly morphing. Sometimes I feel like I have no foundation for any of my values. Other times I believe that my core values have not shifted in any significant way since I left the Jw's.

    My basic views at this point are;

    • Uncertain as to the existence of God. I am relatively certain that if he exists, he occupies no comparitive to my past view of Him.
    • I totally do not believe the Bible. I find it to be mythical at best, and outright forgery at worst.
    • I am nearly repulsed by the presence of Christians, or for that matter most religious people. I find them to be self-righteous, deluded, and pushy in matters of personal choice. [Do not take this to mean all - some here and elsewhere are fine people. But overall.]
    • I don't pray often. When I do, I have no idea to whom to pray, how to pray, or the correct protocol for my prayers. Still I do speak sometimes to 'anyone up there that might hear', though I generally assume no one does.

    On the other hand. My basic moral character is the same. I would not ever consider cheating on my wife, lying to a jury, stealing, or abusing my body with drugs and excessive alcohol use.

    Sometimes I don't know if I am about to fly with the Butterflies, or begin spinning a cocoon.

    Still, I am happier than I have been most of my life, though admittedly, serving the fake God Jehovah made me feel extremely happy [or so I thought at the time].

    Rambles and Rants. Sorry.

    Jeff

  • minimus
    minimus

    Interesting. I think we all are morphing. It's totally normal.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I know what you mean. An xjw's head can be spinning for some yrs. I am currently w very few beliefs. Belief in beliefs was much overrated.

    S

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    ((( Jeff))) you always have a way of stating things that I have been thinking about , But just don't know how to write down . I think for a great many of us the story is so similar because of our age and commom experience with the JWs .

    For me because I was raised in I just never had the chance to try out any other beliefs . So now is our chance to experiment with new ideas . I feel so relieved to be out of the pressure I felt as a witness , but is disconcerting struggling with those feelings of who really is God to me and what do I really believe happens to us at death . For the most part I am coming to grips with the fact no one really knows so it's okay not to have all the answers anymore .

    Sometimes I feel like a ping pong ball going back and forth sometime .

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Greetings, AK Jeff:

  • I don't pray often. When I do, I have no idea to whom to pray, how to pray, or the correct protocol for my prayers. Still I do speak sometimesto 'anyone up there that might hear', though I generally assume no one does.

    • Well expressed regarding the inner turmoil we many of us feel. The italicized text above says it for me, though I do think of Jesus' words in the Our Father prayer as to how we "should" address God, i.e., Father.

    It's a start, if the one recovering from shattered faith is seeking a point of focus.

    Thanks,

    CoCo

  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    Since leaving the religious organisation I was born into (JW's), the one thing I've come to realise the most is: Just how hard it is to know what to believe and what not to believe and just how much information and disinformation there is out there. In essence , m position has moved from one of arrogant cocksureness on many things to a more moderate view, with a lot more healthy scepticism. Nevertheless there are many interpretations of the Watchtower I have completely rejected.

    Since leaving the organisation about 10 years ago and going on my own personal journey of trying to get a much deeper and wider understanding of many things of a spiritual theme, I've really come to appreciate how utterly foolish it is to form black and white conclusions about nearly anything. I've discovered there are nearly always shades of grey. There is nearly always some vital piece/body of information or fact/s no one is aware of (or the majority are not aware of) that can completely change the picture. Sometimes its just a little obscure point or comment you read that puts something into a completely new perspective, and sometimes it's a large chunk of research you were previously unaware of that shatters, moulds, or reinforces a previously held belief.

    On that note, I notice you still seem to be suffering from thinking in terms of absolutes, eg, your comment that you absolutely do not believe the bible and that you think its all myth or forgery. That's the kind of erroneous, black and white mode of thinking that JW's and most religious people suffer from, except you are doing it from the other end of the spectrum. It's always unwise to think in such terms. Why not take a moderate approach like: "I believe the bible has some truth in it and wisdom, spiritually and historically speaking, but I am sceptical/disbelieving of miracles and supernatural accounts recorded in it." Or similar. It's never wise to have a very polarised opinion on any subject that is generally debateable.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I can't adopt a 'moderate approach' in viewing the Bible. At least not at this point.

    After all, didn't the entire Jewish/Christian perspective get started with the Genesis account that depicts a Sneaky Snake [later labeled as Satan], who convinced an ignorant naked lady in paradise to eat some fruit from God's garden, thereby requiring that several thousand years after the damage was done Jesus to come and die for all of us sinners? We sinners had no input. And now 2000 years later we still are waiting for this man to come again and fix things?

    That is not an 'all black and white' opinion. That story is ridiculous. And it forms the foundational belief system of most of the billions who accept the Bible as true. I might have more correctly stated that I cannot accept the Bible as anything serious upon which to build any sort of spiritual life. That would have more accurately stated my current position I suppose.

    May there be some wisdom in the Bible? Yep. Never suggested otherwise. But overall, the Bible seems a myth, along with some history and prophetic nonsense.

    I take a bit of offense at your suggestion that I have just transfered to the other end of the spectrum of thought on this matter. Rather, I have traversed the entire continuum, and currently find myself where I state. As the title suggests - radical shifts, and that is present tense. Next year might find me somewhere else. Hence the frustration.

    Jeff

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Life after being a Jehovah`s Witness..Doctor.. "I don`t know who I am!!"

    Laughing Mutley...OUTLAW

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    AK,

    Why do you think christianity is the way to go? Because it's where you were born. Christianity is actually in the minority here on planet earth.

    Just some food for thought.

  • mostlydead
    mostlydead

    My son and I were just discussing this last night. He works at a company where many witnesses are employed, and although he's not a witness, all the non-jw's there go to him for information. When he tells them he's not a witness, a lot of them (his age, early 20's) say, why? so what DO you believe?? and he said he realized that he doesn't think he believes anything. And I have to sympathize with that feeling. I've been trying to figure this out myself. When you say, "Sometimes I feel I have no foundation for any of my values" I can really relate to that. But I think maybe that's because we've been so conditioned to ascribe anything good within ourselves to the Bible and God.

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