OK My father was never a JW and my parents were separated and living in different provinces but he was abusive to everyone. JW or not I was not happy but relieved that he was dead. He could no longer hurt anyone.
My mother, the JW --- I think I will feel the same - relief that she can't hurt her family anymore and regret for the loss of a mother - the caring mother that I never had.
Years ago after I was DFed my mother workied in the same town - just minutes by car from where I lived. She never came to visit - well twice she came: once when my brother was visiting from Toronto and once after I called her to come visit her first great grand-daughter.
The first time my brother and I were talking about the past and I recounbted a story of something that she had done. It wasn't nice. At the end she said she wasn't a good mother sometimes. That was usually my cue to step in and defend her bysaying "It's OK. You did the best you could." I just couldn't do it so my response was No sometimes you weren't. You could have cut the air it was so silent.
The second time she came and announced that she only came because the people at work were beginning to wonder why she hadn't seen the baby yet. So she came to get them off her back. Thanks mom. She held the baby not cradles in her arms but laying with the baby's head at her knees and her feet towards her. She must have lasted a whole 2 minutes before she picked the baby up and handed her back to me saying "Here, she's your grandchild". She didn't stay long.
When she moved to another province I was saddened but also relieved. Emotionally it was easier to live with her being over 1000 km away than 11 km. I suspect her death will be the same. Unfortunately the women in my family live well into their 90s so I can expect to wait another 20 years.
Will she change? I doubt it. And I've given up hope on it. She has always been a stranger to me, both as a child (I lived away from her for 6 years as a child) and as an adult.
AS for other people, if they were abusive I'll just be relieved they can't hurt people anymore
...OUTLAW