Your god is twisted
My god is good. He made all the beautiful things that exist. He made you. He made me. He made the beautiful universe, and he made us capable of loving and thinking and choosing. Without free will there might have been no human suffering, but there also would not be the possibility of love, either for God or for each other. What did Jesus say were the two greatest commandments?
Both of us have our origin in God. Don't you see that He is what sustains you right now at this instant? If He stopped you would simply cease to be. All of us would cease to be. You are not self-contained. You are not BEING. You are dependent. All of us are. God sustains you. God loves you unconditionally. He IS love.
If we were made to suffer, why bother creating us then? Isn't that cruel?
Good that we cannot imagine will come out of our suffering.
No evil that we can do will not ultimately be turned into good by Him. We live in the best possible universe, where we can be free to choose as we will, even if that means evil. There can be no love without choice, since love is a free choice, and there can be no choosing love without the possibility of choosing the opposite.
As St. Augustine wrote, God would not allow any evil to exist unless out of it he could draw a greater good. This is part of the wisdom and goodness of God.
Death is not the final answer, and our suffering is not meaningless. The glass is far more than half full, but you complain about the shadows which would not exist if there was no light. You blame the shadows on the light!
and your belief in that monster has twisted you.
How has it twisted me? That I believe that the ultmate reality is love and light? That the source of all that exists is goodness and truth? That I believe that I ought to strive to be like that? How does that twist me?
Sadly, I suspect that you are twisted. Sadly. Twisted by the lies you were indoctrinated with in the JWs, and twisted by the hate and anger that discovering the lies has elicited in you.
BTS