Hello,
Well, you have to admit it most DA letters are boring.
Especially so are the ones that contain 15-20 pages full of quotes from the Golden Age of March 15th 1917, or an obscure reference to a slip of the pen made by some overworked and knackered out member of Writing.
Lets be honest, most XJW's do not read past the first few paragraphs, but we all expect our letters will be read by the WTS or its representatives, analysed and then responded to. The reality is that they are rapidly scanned for 'juicy bits' and dumped into a bin marked, 'Oh, God not another one!.
So how about a little more creativity, something that brings a frown to a forehead or two. Heres an example:
Dear Brothers,
I would like to disassociate myself from membership of the Jehovah’s Witnesses on the grounds that my tailor has convinced me that my suits would last much longer if I did not have to attend so many meetings.
I would also like to take this opportunity to assure you that I bear no grudges toward any individual Jehovah’s Witnesses, whom I view as having been cunningly deceived into aligning themselves with the Watchtower Society; not realizing that this Organization is actually a front for a sinister plot involving an international coalition of textile manufacturers.
As evidence I would draw your attention to the original founder of the WTS, Charles T. Russell, whom I am sure you realise was a Master Draper. You may not be aware however, that it was he who supplied suits to many of his followers at artificially inflated prices, which eventually led to his nick-name 'Lapels' Russell.
I would ask that each one of you searches deeply into his heart and then researches his wardrobe with an honest heart to determine where he stands on this issue.
Yours theoretically -- HS
PS - I will be nailing this letter to all the doors of the twenty-eight Congregations in the city as soon as I buy a hammer. Does Bro. Jackson still get discounts at Home Depot?