who has stopped overdrinking on their own?....

oompa

firstly....i have a problem here and have for years. I am prob part of a big jw club based on how all my old friends drink. but nightly i self medicate (nice term for gettin seriously buzzed to drunk). it is an escape/pain killer and is really hurting my energy and drive the next day....it is hurting my JW wife and young but adult kids...or at least it caused them damage when they were still at home......it is hurting my health i bet, even though my last physical was fine

i went to AA a few times and hated it and do not believe this is a disease. i stopped for 11 months a few years ago and had way more energy and focus.....many friends here say to fix the probs that may be pushing me to drink each night.....but some of my probs just do not have simple solutions........

so aside from AA.....how did you do it?.....i know some European programs stress a set limit rather than total abstinence and they have a better success rate than AA.......I honestly feel that if there were some MAJOR changes in my life, which i just cant seem to make, i would do better with this prob.......but maybe that is just an excuse talking..........i really need to make some life changing choices...........oompa

BizzyBee

many friends here say to fix the probs that may be pushing me to drink each night.....but some of my probs just do not have simple solutions........

Most of those problems are probably exacerbated by drinking, no?

In fact , I can't think of any problem that isn't made worse by drinking. I think there is a saying that it takes three weeks to make a new habit. So if you previously quit drinking for 11 months, try hanging on for three weeks, during which time you will find new things to do with the time period that you usually spent drinking. Say, from 5 pm to 10 pm, you will find other activities - take a walk, read a book, exercise, grit your teeth, gut it out. At the end of three weeks, go back to drinking if you must - you will have learned something about yourself in the meantime.

dinah

Oomps, my best friend quit when we were about 30. She made herself stay sober for about 3 months. The first time she drank after that 3 months, she got really, really drunk. So she decided to go a bit longer. Now that she's 40, she can pretty much take it or leave it. It's not a crutch for her anymore, but every now and then she'll catch a buzz.

Twitch

Are you asking the blind? Seems that way,...

There are far better resources to tackle this problem than those who may suffer the same problem, here or elsewhere. I would suggest you seek those out. And take their advice, whether you like it or not.

Apparently, you can't control your behaviour. Do you agree? Or are you still making excuses for it?

;)

Your friendly neighborhood raging alcoholic,...

b

jaguarbass

I went to AA when I was in my 30's. It works if you work it.

I didnt have a drink for 5 years. They were the most serene peaceful years of my life.

I felt so good that I started drinking again.

but mostly beer.

6 months ago I would drink a 12 pack on the weekend.

Now I only drink a 6 pack on the weekend 3 on Friday, 3 on Saturday.

I have to wear a uniform to work and I want it to fit well.

Alcohol is empty calories, So I'd rather look good in my uniform than get wasted.

Thats my motivation. I work out and I'd rather have people compliment me on my figure.

I dont want to take the time to go to AA. So I am a dry drunk, I'm pretty miserable most of the

time.

Now that I'm thinking about it, responding to your post.

What I think would help with the misery and what they taught me at AA is to

have an attitude of gratitude.

I/ you could do this every day.

You write down and think of all the things in your life that you are grateful for.

Your car, wife, children, boat, guitar, tv, stereo, computer etc, etc.

If that doesnt make you happy and help you get off the pitty pot.

Start errassing them one by one and reflect and see how you would feel when you loose

each one.

Because alcohoism is an errasing program, it errases all the good things you have in your life.

If the thought of errasing and loosing the things you have on your gratitude list doesnt

motivate you, than drink up, you havent hit bottom yet.

Drinking is a thinking problem.

Alcoholics have stinking thinking.

And the only thing we have to change is everything.

undercover

Hey, oompa...

When I was an active dub, I drank regularly but rarely got out of hand. After leaving the faith behind I loosened up in a lot of areas, including drinking. I never felt I was an alcoholic or needed AA but I was drinking too much on a regular basis. After a while I realized that I wasn't doing myself any favors and I needed to moderate the habit.

What really straightened me out was the blackouts and the constant hangovers. I couldn't remember what I did the night before, where I was, how I got home. That was scary. I also got tired of feeling like shit the next day. I also knew that alcohol intensified my personality and since I can be an asshole when pushed, I knew that I was probably an intolerable drunk. This perception was confirmed by my wife, who had to haul my drunk ass around.

Without AA, without counseling, without any help other than my wife's blessing, I didn't quit drinking, but I stopped over-drinking on a regular basis. I still enjoy a couple of beers, a glass of wine, a cocktail on a regular basis, but I stop when I start to feel the buzz.

Now, on occassion, when out at a club, or on vacation, or something special, I'll let go and enjoy the evening and plan on having a ride or have a cab company's number. But it isn't a regular thing...just a blowout night once in a while.

Having gone under some severe stress and having the effects of alcohol help me forget that stress one bottle at a time, I can understand why people escape to the bottle. But if one remembers the after effects as much as they do the effects of the buzz, they can start to understand why drinking really doesn't help.

Each person is different, so each person will need a different plan when trying to stop drinking or over-drinking, so what works for me may not work for you or someone else, while what works for someone else may not have worked for me.

I tell you my story to let you know that one can moderate a bad habit on their own. It can be done. But I'll post the disclaimer that my case may not be typical.

I think that since you recognize the need to change, you're half way there. You know you need to do something. Now you pick the plan of action and go from there.

Good luck...

blondie

Actually it is not how much you drink but more why you drink that makes you an alcoholic. There are people who don't drink but are still alcoholics.

jeeprube

Oomps, tomorrow is my one year sobriety date. I went to AA three times last year and hated it.

I drank because when I drank I felt special, I felt like a real man. Every self doubt, every problem I had, every pain disappeared. I was chasing the dragon. I'm an alcoholic, maybe you are maybe you aren't only you can decide that. I had to realize a basic fact about myself, I will always chase the dragon. I simply picked a new dragon to chase.

I know that sounds corny as hell, but it worked for me. I replaced my unhealthy dragon: alcohol, with a healthy one. Massive cardio, weight lifting, and kenpo karate training. I drank to feel like a real man, now I daily mold my body and mind to BE a real man.

People drink for many reasons, I believe the root of the problem is that we feel inferior. I did. Now I do not. My solution is unique to me, maybe it will work for you maybe not. Have you made a life list yet? Write down the ten things you want to accomplish before you die. Then go do them. If you drink like I used to then your life is basically in a holding pattern. You're trapped in a cycle of drink, sleep, recover, drink etc. Everything else fits in around that cycle. Pick a new cycle.

You know that feeling you get about two or three drinks in, when your problems begin to melt and you start to feel like a real man? All of a sudden your doubts are gone, your worries disappear, and you just know that tomorrow will be different.....tomorrow you're gonna pick yourself up and really do it? Yet, tomorrow only brings the pain of sobriety. The confidence you had yesterday is gone, and all you can think about is crawling back into that bottle to reclaim that fuzzy feeling of confidence.

What I'm saying is pick a new addiction. A healthy addiction.

What I'm saying is that it is possible to feel TRUE confidence through other means. True accomplishment is much more fulfilling than the false confidence alcohol offers. It's hard as hell bro, but it's possible. You just have to adopt a different mentality.

jeeprube

I can't stress how vital martial arts training has been for my sobriety. I tried to dissect what it was about AA that worked for people, and I think it's the group accountability that it instills. Basically they instill a cult mentality in you. They love bomb you when you fist start going, then you feel accountable to the group if you drink again.

Anyway, I found that same accountability in the dojo. My instructor's expect me to perform, to show up on a regular basis, and to learn. When I do, I gain the respect of my fellow martial artists. From that I get a much better high than I ever did from a bottle. The themes of duty, honor, and respect translate into my everyday life, and the only side effects are better health and the increasing ability to flat kick somebodies ass. Now when I think about drinking I immediately think about how alcohol will effect my performance and I don't want to drink....it's just not worth it.

I highly recommend joining a martial arts studio. Tae Kwon Do, Kenpo, Ju-Jitsu. Even if you have to sneak out of the house to do it. Just do it man. Put the bottle down and become a REAL man!

ninja

not anymore....since the schizophrenia diagnosis

who has stopped overdrinking on their own?....

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