Absolutely! How could I have done this for over 33 years? The answer is that I was captive to a concept. Raymond Franz took the scales off my eyes.
Blueblades
Are You Surprised That You Ever Believed "In The Truth"?
by minimus 33 Replies latest jw friends
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mkr32208
Born in lots of problems with the belief system but stayed in for the friends and then for the wife then we both got out... No way we would ever have gotten in as an adults.
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WTWizard
If I would have had alternate sources for research, I probably wouldn't have joined. And, if I had more integrated knowledge of what an Almighty Lowlife Scumbag Jehovah actually is, I would have rather gone to Gehenna than lived forever in the New Dark Ages.
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AllTimeJeff
I remember bringing up a couple of times in our car groups this question: "If I weren't born a JW, would I have been converted through door to door?"
That was a very uncomfortable question for some, but for me, it was really me screaming to myself "HELL NO!" I wasn't the person inside everyone thought I was anyway. I didn't believe it all, and I never felt good about some pioneers (my ex wife included) who would make little comments about how householders were now dead meat cause they turned us down..... Really? The cognitive dissonance was ringing in my head, buy into it lock stock and barrel, or call the preaching work what it really was, bullshit!
I was born in da troof, and really had no choice, so I am not surprised I became a JW. There was no option for me. However, I am happy to say I wouldn't believe it if I weren't born in it.... I think...
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Mickey mouse
I always felt the same way AllTimeJeff.
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PEC
Another born-in. You believe what you are taught; until, you learn to think for yourself. Some learn sooner than others and some never learn.
Philip
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Psychotic Parrot
I was born in, & i just went along with it for the first few years of my life, i always believed it but never had any real passion for it, never wanted to be 'strong' in the truth but always felt guilty (scared i might be killed at the big A) because i wasn't. And i always hated the idea that our future salvation & eternal life in paradise would be at the expense of billions of lives, that part NEVER sat well with me. I always had doubts about the whole thing but never let those doubts play on my mind too much & just took the advice that eventually all would be revealed.
Then when i was about 16 i really started to think carefully about things, i began studying with an elder (congregation service overseer). I believe that this elder was secretly having doubts at the time (mainly about the credibility of the WTBTS) & many of those doubts were inadvertantly (or possibly intentionally) transmitted to me.
When i was 18 i finally decided that i just didn't believe it anymore, i still believed in God but not the WTBTS or their version of events, & i didn't think much of other Christian ideas either. I became an unbaptised publisher in January 2006 (mainly with a view to getting baptised later in the year so that i could eventually get married to some young virginal sister and have sex without feeling guilty about it LOL), but then i quickly decided that the best way was out. I stopped going out in the ministry in February 2006, last memorial that spring, last DC that June, last meeting that August, stopped reading their literature around that time too, then finally ended my study with the service overseer in March 2007, intended to go to the memorial that spring but decided not to at the last minute.
Since then i've become an atheist & have learnt a lot about evolution, abiogenesis theories & astrophysics. Suffice to say, i now consider it ridiculous that i ever believed any of it & my only excuse is that i was just a kid, now i'm 21 years old & am old enough to know better.
It just confuses me that my dad, born and raised an atheist, started studying at 18 & came into the truth fully (was baptised) at the age of 20 or 21, then marrying my mum (who was a born in) at 23. I know that i personally would NEVER come in as an adult, so i find it strange that my dad did, as he has an inquiring mind like i do. Although when he came in (mid-1970's) there wasn't the internet at that time, and he never really had much exposure to the 1975 fiasco as he wasn't baptised until 1976 or 1977.
Thankfully i was never baptised, so i'm not disfellowshipped & am therefore not a family outcast, but there is an eternal elephant in the room & it does cause some trouble at times :(
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Seeker4
My parents started studying when I wa 9 or so, and I got baptized at 11, so I was raised in it pretty much. I don't think I'd ever have become a Witness as an adult.
I think I stayed, despite doubts, because of the old 'wait on Jehovah' line. In time, I felt all those questions would be solved.
Well, I guess that is what happened!
S4
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leavingwt
I personally don't see a big difference between the JW belief that Jehovah "must draw" a person into 'The Truth' and the Calvinist notion of Predestination.
In both instances, the person is screwed out of life eternal, unless Jehovah reached out to them.
-LWT
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Psychotic Parrot
Sometimes, even though i no longer believe any of it, i still feel the fear of the big A appear in the back of my mind (mainly when my family are going on about it). It's really quite frightening how some of these things stay with you even after you've put it all behind you :(