Hello Friends, Part 2

by lonestar63 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • lonestar63
    lonestar63

    As i stated in my first post, i had reached a crossroads.

    I was never going back to the kingdom hall, ever.

    My struggle was i knew i had to tell my wife. She is my best friend and soulmate. I am indeed a lucky man to have found her. I was scared as to what her reaction would be. She was born and raised in the org. It is all she has ever known. Her mother is fanatical about "The Truth", as is most of her family.

    I knew however that i had to tell her the real truth. This wasn't going to be easy. I prepared for the day very well. I've had plenty of training over the years on how to be prepared, or so i thought. I wasn't sure how she would react. I went over all the possibilities in my head. She might have a nervous breakdown. She might leave me, because she always said Jehovah came first. She might get angry at the mere suggestion the Society was wrong. I fully expected the worse, but there was no way i could pretend to be what i was not. She had to know.

    Many things the Society taught was a problem for me, including shunning, issues with disfellowshipping. Also the sweeping under the rug the rampant misconduct of sexual abuse by men in power in the organization. The biggie for me was the issue of 1914. The whole decade of the 80's, my entire time spent in the ministry was based on warning people that we were in the last days, and the countdown started in 1914.

    This would be my starting point in the "Talk" i had prepared for my wife.

    We sat down one evening, the day i decided it was time, and i opened up the May 15th 1984 Watchtower. The headlines stated 1914, The Generation That Will Not Pass Away! We looked it over a bit, then i opened the bible to Deut. 18:20-22 and read that to her.

    That's when she stopped me.

    She put her arms around me, told me she trusted me, she knew something had been bothering me, and she knew that i would make the right decision for my family. She also felt betrayed by the organization, and supported me 100%.

    I was stunned to say the least, and relieved as well.

    We spent the next several days together, and i shared with her the things i had learned about the Society. We decided then and there we would never set foot in the Hall again.

    I feel very fortunate that this did not destroy us. Even though we have been fading for years, the pull of the organization, and the family members that are still in is very strong. Others have not been so lucky, and that is truly sad.

    This year for the first time in our lives we celebrated Thanksgiving, then Christmas! It was indeed a joy of joys! We started our fade when our children were still young, so neither are baptized, for which we were critisized. To be able to celebrate this past year with them was truly amazing. Over the years i've made friends with "worldly" people that are some of the best people i've ever met. They are my friends with no strings attached. The brothers were friends as long as i went to the meetings and stayed strong in the 'truth". I no longer have any interest in cultivating such friendships.

    Our lives are filled with riches and blessings now, none of which involve the Society.

    I appreciate the opportunity you gave me to tell my story, and i certainly look forward to cultivating friendships on this forum!

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Glad you had a happy story to tell, thanks for sharing,

    purps

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    WELCOME ---Thanks for sharing your story.

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    Nice. It won't go that well for all of course, and you took a leap of faith of a different sort, but the greater the risk, the greater the potential reward. You showed spine and more importantly your wife seen that you cared about her and the family.

    Did your wife say how long she had felt betrayed by the organization?

    Thanks for sharing and, if I have't done so already, welcome to the board.

    Snakes ()

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Thanks for the second part of your story, and glad that it is a happy story-so many on this forum are not......

    Maybe your wife will join us also.

  • lonestar63
    lonestar63

    Snakes, she totally surprised me with that one. I had been expecting the worst.

    Everything we saw that was wrong with the org, we saw together. However, as i mentioned in my first post, she was beating herself up over us being out of "the truth".

    She had reached the same conclusions that i had, probably in the last year or so, but we both were scared to tell the other.

    It worked out well for us both.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    A belated welcome. I went back and read your first post. I'm glad to hear your wife felt the same way as you did and were both able to get out. Sometimes a husband and wife both have doubts and live for years in fear of the other finding out and turning them in. It is a sad way to live.

  • oompa
    oompa

    all i can say is.........YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH!!!...........oompa

    and.....how is it going with making new friends or does that matter to you?......any kids?.......my only friends are from here.......and dfd ones......and a few faders that i have known a long long time

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    I agree with Oompa, you lucky f*cker!!

  • cawshun
    cawshun

    How fortunate for you that you and your wife were on the same page. Congratulations!

    Everytime I hear a story like this, it gives me hope for my daughter and her family.

    thanks for sharing!

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