I called my mom. (page 3)

WuzLovesDubs

Wow Lis...I know you got sweaty palms over that phone and heart palpitations when it started to ring. But she didnt hang up on you babe so call her again next month. Do it for yourself if not for them. :)

exhale...you did good!

loves

crazycate

Good for you! Doing the right thing is its own reward; if your mom continues to talk to you, that's even better. One thing that led to my departure and my husband's is that we realized we could never cut off our children. We also said "no" to the elders that tried to insist they get baptized at a young age. It's heart breaking to think of the families that have been destroyed because children get baptized, then grow up and decide they want to do something different. Or the people that get disfellowshipped and then are forever cut off from their families because they decide they don't want this religion anymore.

Cate

Quandry

after more than 5yrs without hearing a word from her, I called.

Lisa, I hope you don't mind that I cry for you, because I am doing just that.

When you were little, did your mom sing to you or have special things that she would say to you? Maybe how much she loved you? Next time I called, I would ask her if she remembers the song or special thing......tell her you think about it often. Then, at the end of the conversation, I would just offer, "remember mom, love never fails," then say good-bye.

I don't know that it might change anything, but I wouldn't be able to resist.....

And yes, as another poster said, at least you are doing the right thing.

crazycate

Quandry: What a lovely idea! Somehow The Borg separates people from the normal family feelings, and then tries to make that new feeling seem "right." For LisaVegas to remind her mom of the normal loving feelings a mom feels for her babies is such a good idea! I would try it!

Cate

lisavegas420

Hmmm....something special, good question Quandry. I can't think of anything.

I know I have lots of childhood memories that I'd like to ask about and family history, I'd like to ask about. I did find out that she started memopause about my age. The explains some things that I was wondering about.

Thank you all for the encouragement. My husband and daughter were shocked when I called them and told them I had called my mom. My daughter said she was going to be on Spring Break next week and since I got a nice reception, that she might give her a call.

I'll keep ya'll posted on how or if thing progress.

lisa

flipper

Well Lisa- that's a good start ! I'm glad you were able to muster up the courage to call her. I know it took a lot for you to do that. I admire you. You did a great job of staying off JW topics and you never know - by being authentic and real and staying on family topics you may gradually build something up here again. But I think you are smart to take it gradually as you are doing. Good luck with it, keep us posted ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

GoddessRachel

Wow, Lisa, I'm proud of you. I hope you will find the courage to call her again. It may get easier in time.

My friend told me recently he cannot approve of my pursuing a relationship with my JW parents unless I accept in my heart once and for all that they are not my role models, but I am theirs. It's almost as though I'm the parent and they are the children. I have to do the right thing and contact them; they feel guilty to call me. I'd rather have to make this first move than for something to happen where I just don't know them at all anymore. We talk every few months or so. It has helped me tremendously to realize this fully, that I am the role model, not them. It's unnatural, but when you are a JW your growth is permantly stunted as we know. So it's true, they are like children, emotionally and spiritually.

The way you have described your relationship with your mother is how I feel about my sister. I don't know her at all. The more time that goes by, the harder it is to muster the courage to call her. When we do talk it is pleasant enough but very forced and uncomfortable at the core.

I hope you call your mom again before too much more time goes by. Sometimes when I'm struggling with something I think I have to do but really don't want to do I have to force myself to imagine which scenario I will regret more. I think you will regret not trying more than the alternatives.

You are a wonderful mother, by the way.

Rachel

lisavegas420

It's been a year!

I didn't call her the next month. I haven't called her at all, and of course I haven't heard a word from either of my parents.

A lot has happened in the past year. I could share them with her/them. I wonder if she'd be interested? For instance... I took a Tarot reading class, and the 'cards' said I should call her. I started a new job 11 months ago, as a legal secretary. We paid off all credit card debt. I'm thinking about repainting my livingroom and bedroom.

I'll have to think this through.

lisa

babygirl30

I'm happy for you - that you were able to talk to your mother. No matter how general or short the convo, it still was probably NICE just to have her attention for a few. Hope you can have another convo with her!!!

**Side Note*** It's really sickening how a religion that cries such 'love' between it's members can TELL a family NOT to speak to their other relations and to be 'cold' towards them. Makes no sense and is disgusting.

I called my mom.

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