Why do they never invite you for a meal but always encourage you to attend meetings?

by truthseeker 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  Today, an elder in my hall phoned and left a message saying he would stop by with a Memorial invitation.

  This elder has never bothered to encourage me in the past when I was missing meetings, yet suddenly he remembers me in the run up to the Memorial.

  I got to thinking about this - a few in our congregation called us when they found out we were inactive, encouraging us to go back to meetings. Or they would say, "it's the CO visit next week, you have to come listen to his talk."

  I would give these "genuine ones" their due - they made an effort - but, when I think about it what effort have they actually made?

  None at all! These are the same people who believe I will die at Armaggedon if I don't go back to meetings, yet by their actions they have proved either a) They really don't believe that or b) They just don't care enough.

  We have never received an encouraging call from anyone inviting us back to their house for a meal or to see if they could help us or would we like to accompany them on a day out somewhere. It's always been get your ass back to the Kingdom Hall. They think that is a big effort on their part but it's really meaningless.

  Have any of you here been invited out for a meal when you got the encouraging call to go back?
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  asilentone

  well, I did get invited by an elder and his wife for a meal one time while I was inactive. They just moved near me back then, I told them that I am inactive, so they invited me for a meal. They were really a nice couple, but later on, I found out they have been lying to me, it was about something else, it is a long story.
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  Wasanelder Once

  Nope. That's not how its done. It's Jehovah's table that you need to be at. Of course you will be lonley and neglected as you sit there like everyone else but that doesn't matter, you're at the table. Also, if you go to people's homes they have to act like JW's while you're there. They don't do it when you're not so its a trial to be on their best behavior. Be happy not to be invited and invite some worldly people for one of those durg parties that all worldly people have every time they get together. W.Once
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  no more kool aid

  I actually have had people say they wish I would come back because they sure did have fun at "our" house for dinners, BBQ etc. No invitations though.
• 

  chickpea

  same here....

  people we once had a very active
  social life with just "faded" away
  as soon as we slowed down and
  ultimately stopped attending....

  very very very few attempts,
  considering we had an elder's
  wife once tell us we were a real
  asset to the congregation...

  i have to admit, i doubt i would
  accept, since i dont want to have
  to listen to the inevitable pep talk
  about yada yada yahweh....
  seriously, i dont.....
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I get invited to the occasional barbeque by one elder and his wife. They are deluded, but genuinely care. I understand that. The rest of them are as you say. "We miss you." "I hope to see you at the hall." They go on and on about that, but when I am in a good playful mood, I answer them.

  "I have the same phone number." "Do you want to do lunch sometime?"

  There is one guy that would take me up on such an offer, but he will spend the whole time trying to help me back, then report to his brother-in-law, who is that elder from my cong. that invites me to the occasional barbeque. He'll think it's for my own good to report anything, so I won't even extend such an offer to meet for lunch with him. If I accidentally find myself with him, I won't say anything of any substance.
• 

  done4good

  TS,

  By now you know how these folks are. It's all they know how to do.

  I have a very good friend. (you probably know who I'm talking about), who won't invite me or wifey over for ANYTHING, (He knows damn well I'm doing much better since I'm out). He is way too scared to hear the "real" truth. He probably knows the real truth.

  I'm convinced that "knowing" doesn't matter. Peple stay in for various reasons, and those reasons don't have to make logical sense. There is no reason to bang your head into a wall over it. It's a matter of cognitive dissonance and other forms of warped psychology.

  Do yourself a huge favor and move on. You are in a good place. Please believe that.

  j
• 

  lonestar63

  I can relate to your post no more kool aid.

  I was the one always inviting the friends over for a BBQ. Never had the favor returned though.

  Same when my fade started. Marked as bad association i guess, and never offered much encouragement.
• 

  blondie

  Because the WTS programs them that way:

  *** km 2/07 p. 8 par. 2 Do Not Forget Those Who Are Inactive ***A brief telephone call or visit may assure one who has become inactive that we have not forgotten him. What could we say? We may be encouraging by simply letting the person know that we were thinking of him. Keep the conversation positive and upbuilding. (Phil. 4:8) We might mention a point that we enjoyed from a recent meeting. We could also invite him to an upcoming meeting or assembly and offer to save him a seat or provide transportation.

  *** km 3/03 p. 1 par. 7 Jehovah Is Very Much to Be Praised ***

  Arrangements are being made to encourage all irregular and inactive ones to attend meetings regularly.

  *** km 3/01 p. 3 par. 6 April—Time to ‘Work Hard and Exert Ourselves’ ***Now is an opportune time to help irregular and inactive ones improve in their study habits and establish constancy in their meeting attendance. (Ps. 50:23) We do this while keeping close watch on our own spiritual welfare.

  *** km 3/00 p. 5 par. 14 Can We Make April 2000 Our Best Month Ever? ***Perhaps by receiving an encouraging shepherding visit as soon as possible, these inactive ones can be assisted to become active again in the field ministry, even during April.

  *** km 8/83 p. 2 par. 7 Helping Inactive Ones to Grow Strong in the Faith ***As we seek to help the inactive, let us never forget those presently associated with us who may need help. (Acts 20:35) We can prevent many from drifting into inactivity by being interested in the spirituality of our brothers. Is there someone in your book study group that is slowing down in his service or missing meetings? Does he need some encouragement? Could you invite him to share in your family or personal study? Could you work with him in the ministry?
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  cameo-d

  Do you think JWs don't have get togethers because they really don't have anything to talk about except Jehover...and they get enough of that 5 days a week?

  I mean really...since they are discouraged from so many 'wordly' activities, i.e. other clubs, groups, activities, educational outlets, and plus they have no free time left for hobbies ....what is there to discuss with people?

  Work? the Hall? The New System? Get's old, I would imagine.