Hi all, I've been reading here for awhile and made a few posts before realizing I should probably introduce myself.
It's so refreshing to read ppl's thoughts on these topics, which run deeply personal, and I've never been able to express myself freely, so thanks for such a great forum.
I was born and raised a Dub, by my "spiritually single" mother (Dad was an unbeliever..still is) me and my 3 other siblings all fell away before getting baptised, other than my older sis, who was Df'd at 16. Unfortunatley in my early 20's a sister "took an interest in me and we had a bible study for 2 years before getting baptized at 24. (what a regret) Since then I floundered, flopped, got Df'd a year later for dum, dum, dum..."fornication and then reinstated 9 months later.
I'm now 30 and have been "luke warm" since my re-entry into the cult. Brothers and sisters just shake their heads and label me a "lost sheep", or "spiritually weak", or even more recently "wolf in sheeps clothing". (hypocrates), only coz I dont warm a seat at the kingdom Hall twice a week. Needless to say I have lived with the guilt for 30 years. That is until a good friend and my sister knocked some sense into my head. For the first time in my life I dont have that incessant rain cloud of GUILT hovering over my head, and feel soooooooo liberated...and a bit lost, which is why I really appreciate this forum.
I do however find it VERY difficult now spending time with my FANATIC over zealouse mother. I want to scream and shake her, but I know she would/will never see the "truth" for what it really is, and thats so sad. Even I fought it with my sister for almost a year, caling her an apostate, and making accusations towards my friend. We are very deeply indoctrinated. I feel so sorry for witnesses now, but who's really to blame???
There really is no one...The Borg has gotten so big, that everyone is such a part of the problem, and that is so frustrating to me. Does anyone think that eventually the house of cards will collapse? Or will it just keep growing and growing.
Angry....Thanks all, I look fwd to being a part of this recovery community, and listening to all your insightful posts
Ilovelamp120