Hello All old and new members..StillAwitness..4 years later

by stillAwitness 10 Replies latest social entertainment

  • stillAwitness
    stillAwitness

    I became a member of this site at 20. I was baptized at 14 but by 16 I realized that the JW religion was anything but the Truth and I made it my perogative to seek out ansewrs. The internet can be a dangerous thing, the society always warns and I soon began to understand their fear against it. After stumbling on many anti-witness sites like this one I was able to breath a sigh of relief and and realize "ok, I'm not crazy or going to burn in Armageddon for feeling this way. This is not just my imagination; its real." When I did start discovering the real "Truth", I pretty much slacked on everything else from school, friends, meetings and family and stayed holed up in my room or the school library for hours on end, reading and re-reading crisis of conscience, old society publications, browsing the web for russel, blood transfusions, the un. When I look back now, I was so overwhelemed with how much I was trying to take in. For me, I felt like I needed to undo 18 years of false knowledge before I could finally think about what direction my life would take next. Finally, I came to a point where it was time for me to release everything I had learned and talk to others who were or had gone through what I was going through at that time. Of course, my parents and elders were out of the question (tried that once and it led to a 2 hour interrogation that left me in tears and near suicidal) I had no friends in the hall I trusted and kids outside the religion just would not of understood. Thats when I found jehovahs-witness.net. So its been 5 years for me and I went from to living at home and still putting on a false front for the sake of my family, to not being able to take it anymore and falling in love with a hippie 10 years my senior and moving in with him into the city, to us breaking up 2 years later once we both realized I still had some growing up to do to me getting my first apartment in the same area and where I am now? Renewing my lease for that same apartment for the third year in a row with a whole new set of roomates and my first pet (a baby tabby named Iggy Pop) I didn't think I would last a year on my own and here I am almost 4 years later! How surreal but amazing at the same time. If any of the same members I used to always talk to are still on here please drop me a line! I would love to hear how everyone is doing.

    For me: I am lucky enough that I live so far in the city (where no witness ever dares to venture unless its a group trip to the museum or something that I don't ever run into anyone from the hall. But surprisingly, the elders have not harassed me much since my fading 3 years ago although I do still show my face at meetings when I go to visit my parents (I probably go to a meeting about twice a year) But I do see my parents as much as possible and its weird but I think me and my folks have grown a little closer since my fading although they badger me about coming back to Jehovah all the time. Maybe its cause I don't have to lie anymore about where I'm going, what I am doing and who I am with. Life is so easy and freeing nowadays and I don't know why I have not been shunned but I am lucky and hope that all of you who are dealing with your family and friends shunning you that you can still say you are at least happy and at peace and hopefully one day they will turn around.

    xooxoo,

    NOTstillAwitness

  • dinah
    dinah

    Good to hear from you, Stilla.

  • stillAwitness
    stillAwitness

    you too dinah! I must post a pic of my own kitty..I didn't realize how much fun cats are. But there tongues feel like sandpaper

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Good to hear from you StiilA from stilla - love the confusion - great to hear from you

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Hi StillA, great to hear from you again. You used to post a lot when I first started on this site and I have wondered how you were getting on. I am glad to hear that you have moved on successfully and overcome the issues that you had at the time.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Srsly.....for some reason you popped into my mind yesterday.

    Glad to hear you're deBorgifying nicely.

  • oompa
    oompa

    nice update stilla.........do you do the memorial each year?....just curious..........oompa

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Hi Not

    It is nice to hear that you are doing so well.

    It doesn't seem long ago you were a very worried girl.

    Thanks for popping in to see us.

    Cheers

    Chris

  • StoneWall
    StoneWall

    Hi StillA !

    Nice that things are going great for ya. It's always good to hear from others about how they are going on with life

    post JW.

    I can't really speak for others but in my area we have quite a lot of faders/slackers/irregular KH attenders. So we

    just get together especially in the spring and summer months go to the lake, movies, biking,hiking etc. and have fun.

    No one downing you about missing meetings and yet understanding where you are coming from is oh so nice.

    When you say that you are so far in the city, I'm assuming you are referring to Hotlanta since your avatar

    list Georgia below it. We've been as a group many times to Six Flags down there in Hotlanta and also to the many

    malls down there. (our wives and girl friends always make sure we hit usually at least one mall, while the guys

    make sure we hit at least one Hooters or similar bar/restaurant so our better halves have a good reason to shop

    while we drink hee hee)

    Regards,

    StoneWall

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Wow. You've come so far and we are very proud of you. Thanks for the update.

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