You and your teeth don't sleep together. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
Golden years---Your memory is shorter and your complaining last longer. Your address book has mostly names that start with "DR."
Your idea of whight lifting is standing up. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.