Do you think your JW family REALLY hates you? Or do they THINK they love you?

by BonaFide 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  BonaFide

  I am referring to some of us that have had bad experiences with our JW family and friends. Even those of us that are "active" but we have expressed certain things about the Organization.

  Do you really feel your Witness family HATES you? Or does your family THINK they are being LOVING to you by doing things "Jehovah's way?"

  My family and friends think everything they do is based on love. They are so sincere, they spend their entire life supporting "Jehovah's Organization." They give their time, their energy, their soul to the Organization. They feel that when someone is disfellowshipped, the LOVING thing is not to greet them. They don't want them to die at Armageddon. They really feel that birthdays are very wicked, and so is Christmas. They don't think about the door-to-door work being ineffective. They feel they are being obedient to Jehovah and that's it. Some have sort of avoided me because of comments I have made in the past about the Organization. They think thats the right thing to do, for me, and for them.

  About a year ago I made a comment to someone in my family about how there needs to be more articles in the Awake about precautions about pedophiles. Her reply? "We shouldn't question Jehovah. He knows what we need and when." SHE THINKS THE WT AND AWAKE COME DIRECTLY FROM JEHOVAH GOD. However, she also cries and cries when she sees a TV report about a child that was molested or abused. She cares, she really cares, but she believes the Organization is Jehovah's way of doing things.

  I used to feel that way also. I believed that true unity was only found in the Organization. I was the chairman on committee meetings, and I really felt I was helping people. I didnt talk to disfellowshipped people. I didnt enjoy it, but I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR THEIR EVERLASTING BENEFIT.

  So, do you think your Witness famiily is purposely being hateful? Or do THEY THINK they are really being loving and helping you?

  What you say?

  BF
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  StAnn

  Bonafide, I replied to your other post.

  StAnn
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  BonaFide

  St. Ann, I am sorry your family treats you bad. I feel gross when my family does that to me. But when I believed it all, I used to shun, and limit my association with some. I treated my brother in a sort of condescending way, I really thought he was out of his mind because he left "the truth" and I tried to make him see it before he died at Armageddon. I apologized to him awhile back, and we talk a lot now.

  Your family, if they are active, goes to the meetings where they talk about love and mercy, helping others. Seems like some of that would get through to them. If they go in service, I would think they would be trying to help worldly people.

  Of course, you know your family. I hope you are dealing with it ok.

  Its tough sometimes for me.

  BF
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  BabaYaga

  I am one of the very lucky ones (dare I say blessed!) because I know that my family loves me... and they still show it. (Don't get me wrong, I have had shunning experiences in the past... but all of my loved ones have come back to me. I love them with all that I am.)

  Love to you, Bonafide.
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  Mrs. Fiorini

  "About a year ago I made a comment to someone in my family about how there needs to be more articles in the Awake about precautions about pedophiles. Her reply? "We shouldn't question Jehovah."

  This is the real problem in my opinion. Because they equate the WT Society with God himself, they believe everything that is taught to them. If the WT says shunning someone is showing love to them, they accept it. When all "facts on the ground" prove otherwise, they still believe their god/WT.
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  AlexHall

  I have had som experience with family-members shunning me. I was kicked out about a year ago, and since then I have heard nothing from my brother, one of my sisters and my father. Those I had the most contact with as a witness is those that refuses to talk to me now. Instead its been my mother and my other sister that has helped me and been there for me.

  I have to belive they do it out of love. They truley belive that their are doing something good. By shunning me, they belive that they can "force" me to see the truth and come back. What I can´t understand is how this can be something good. If I wanna come back to the congregation it should be because I love God and belive that the Witnesses is the holy spirit insipired org, not because I wanna meet my family again.

  But I can´t condem them for what they are doing. They are simply following their belives, and doing what they have been taught to belive.

  Or as Jesus said before he died: Forgive them, because they don´t know what they are doing... ;)
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  garybuss

  Do you think your JW family REALLY hates you? Or do they THINK they love you?
  
  I only care how people treat me and how they treat people important to me. I don't care about motives or illusions or delusions. I only care about action. If you treat me as if you hate me, that's my definition of hate.
  
  I've got a really low tolerance for rude, mean, disrespectful people. I've got a no free pass policy and a three strike rule. People who disrespect me, my family, or my friends, are out of my game forever.
  
  I don't buy into the "blame the printing company" game to excuse bad behaviors. I believe people are acting of their own free will and they are personally responsible for all their behaviors (much the same way a court of law looks at behaviors). Ignorance, or running with a gang, or being deluded by reading a book doesn't cut it with me. If you act bad, you are bad.
  
  There have been some notable exceptions, but by and large, my Jehovah's Witness relatives have been a disappointing group of people. The best thing to put between them and me has been time and distance.
  
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  Caedes

  If you have JW relatives who claim to love you, then you have to ask how they can look forward to the god they worship killing someone they love. After all they are looking forward to armageddon when all the apostates will be murdered by god.
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  AlexHall

  Yea, that is true. But our relatives that claim they love us but still shun us still belive that we in some sense are evil and deserve that faith.

  Or they belive that God will make everything right and save us in the last second. They somehow feel that they love God more than their family
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  ColdRedRain

  I have some light to shed on this. I'm currently living with my mother and as it is, my mother pretty much has NO respect for me.

  I've had CDs, video games and even a video game system thrown away by her, she's unusually slow in letting me in the house during

  wintertime and also, she's particularly rude to my girlfriends, all because I'm not a JW. She used to respect my belongings and my safety before, until I

  stopped attending the meetings. Now, it's gotten to the point where you can outright tell that she doesn't respect me. I cannot count how many times I've been essentially locked out of my house by my mother no matter how many times I tell her that the weather is cold and she needs to hurry up.

  It's unbelieveable.

  Her half hearted attempts at "love" are futile to say the least....