funniest things to do in the new world

by siy 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  siy

  What were some of the funniest things you heard a witness say he or she would like to do in the new word?

  the wife of the brother i studyed with said " in the new world im going to get a porpoise to teach me to swim"

  of course i think a porpoise will have better things to do (like avoiding great whites) a than teach non swimmers to swim.

  another sister some 20 years ago thought it best if she & her 2 small girls should have horse riding lessons to

  prepare for the "new word" as the horse will be the only theocratic way to travel.

  the thing is that was 20 years ago & one of those girls is now is as BIG as a horse now.!!

  i dont see any "new order" horses volunteering for the job..
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  dinah

  the thing is that was 20 years ago & one of those girls is now is as BIG as a horse now.!!

  That is funny.
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  TheOldHippie

  Not funny, but humiliating and offensive.
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  darthfader

  Several Witnesses I know think that everyone will run around naked. That's how Adam and Eve started out...

  Darth Fader...
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  stillajwexelder

  In the new world, have loads of Oral Sex and wife swapping parties
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  rebel8

  When I was about 10 I answered at the book study by saying I was going to eat a strawberry as big as my head. (The teaching in jw fundie land was that fruits would be very large in paradise, they're puny now b/c of pollution and imperfection. I remember them saying that to people in fs. What they must have thought of us!)

  I couldn't wait to shake hands with armless people whose arms grew back.

  I also wanted to ride a giraffe around to meetings.

  Oh, and lift heavy things and contact sports that I'm unable to do now due to health problems. My perfect body would be able to ski w/o falling, etc.
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  DaCheech

  all the ones i heard, wanted to learn musical instruments. "in the new world we will have 1,000 years to master it"
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  jeeprube

  I always thought they'd have massive candle dipping parties. I mean how else are they going to study all the food from the slave without lights at night?

  But wait, without electricity how will they operate the printing presses to continually feed the great crowd? Or will there be electricity?
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  WTWizard

  Actually, your time will be for teaching all those who are resurrected the same things we were teaching from door to door. And, in the time you are expected to miraculously create, you will be building mass-constructed houses (at the rate of a house per day or more) for those who are resurrected to live in. Of course, no one said anything about how we are supposed to design and operate the tools.
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  Outaservice

  Maybe bandage your arm up and tell people you were bit by a lion?

  Outaservice