What did the cannibal say when eating a comedian ? This tastes funny.......!
Eaten by Cannibals: How Will They be Resurrected?
by cameo-d 15 Replies latest watchtower bible
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cameo-d
What did the cannibal say when he got sick from eating missionaries?
I guess you can't keep a good man down.
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iknowall558
Cannibal boy said to him mum " I don't like grandad " Mum said "Just leave him at the side of your plate then".
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blondie
The WTS does not teach that the exact molecules of the person will be resurrected but that new cells will be created and reanimated with the person's lifeforce and personality.
It wouldn't be any different for any dead body that decomposes and is taken in by plant life and eaten by humans, or eaten by bugs, eaten by animals, eaten by humans.
*** w89 6/15 p. 6 ‘We Know They Will Rise in the Resurrection’ ***Interestingly, the Bible does not say that in the resurrection God will reassemble the decomposed human bodies of the dead. The actual atoms of those who are long dead have since been spread all over the earth and often have subsequently been incorporated into vegetable and animal life—yes, even into other humans, who have thereafter died. It is plain that in the resurrection the same atoms could not be used for more than one person who is raised. Instead, God will bring humans to life with suitable bodies, without missing parts and other impairments suffered before death, as it pleases him.
*** w06 3/15 p. 4 The Only Remedy! ***After a person dies, what is resurrected? It cannot be the body, which decays and returns to the dust of the ground. What is resurrected is not the same body but the same person who died. Thus, resurrection involves the restoration of the life pattern of the individual—his personality traits, his personal history, and all the details of his identity.
*** w00 7/15 p. 16 pars. 1-2 The Resurrection Hope Has Power ***IN THE early 1890’s, the public press reported on a unique sermon given by a clergyman in Brooklyn, New York, U.S.A. He said that the resurrection will consist of regathering and revivifying all the bones and flesh that ever made up a human body, whether it was destroyed by fire or by accident, was eaten by a beast or became fertilizer. The preacher held that on a certain 24-hour day, the air would become black with hands, arms, feet, fingers, bones, sinews, and skin of the billions of human dead. These parts would be seeking other portions of the same body. Souls would then come from heaven and hell to inhabit these resurrected bodies. Resurrection through a reorganization of original atoms is illogical, and humans do not have an immortal soul. (Ecclesiastes 9:5, 10; Ezekiel 18:4) Jehovah, the God of resurrection, does not need to reassemble atoms of matter that originally constituted a human body. He can fashion new bodies for those resurrected.
*** g75 8/8 p. 28 What Is the Soul? ***In resurrecting a human from the dead to life on earth, God can easily reconstruct, with different atoms, the body cells with the same genetic structure and arrangement. He can, in effect, imprint in that body the additional characteristics that the person had acquired during his lifetime. This is as simple for God as for man to register and reproduce picture and sound electronically by means of videotape.
*** g80 3/22 p. 11 Death Does Not End It All! ***This will be a creating anew—a recreation—of those who have died. They will come back from the graves endowed with the personality they had before death, including their memories and mental functions. Since each original body will already have returned to dust, God will construct a body having the DNA pattern in its cells and the brain capacity that the person had before he died. Jesus, while on earth, demonstrated this power of God by resurrecting dead persons, such as Lazarus, the widow of Nain’s son, and an official’s daughter
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Big Tex
First Sailor Still no sign of land ... How long is it? Second Sailor That's a rather personal question, sir. First Sailor You stupid git. I meant how long we've been in the lifeboat. You've spoilt the atmosphere now. Second Sailor I'm sorry. First Sailor Shut up! We'll have to start again ... Still no sign of land ... how long is it? Second Sailor Thirty-three days, sir. First Sailor Thirty-three days? Second Sailor I don't think we can hold out much longer. I don't think I did spoil the atmosphere. First Sailor Shut up! Second Sailor I'm sorry, I don't think I did. First Sailor Of course you did. Second Sailor (to third Sailor) Do you think I spoilt the atmosphere? Third Sailor Well, I think you ... First Sailor Look, shut up! SHUT UP! ... Still no sign of land ... how long is it? Second Sailor Thirty-three days. Fourth Sailor Have we started again? (he is kicked on the leg by the first sailor) Wagh! First Sailor Still no sign of land ... how long is it? Second Sailor Thirty-three days, sir. First Sailor Thirty-three days? Second Sailor Yes. We can't go hold out much longer, sir. We haven't had any food since the fifth day. Third Sailor We're done for, we're done for! First Sailor Shut up, Maudling. We've just got to keep hoping someone will find us. Fourth Sailor How are you feeling, captain? Fifth Sailor Not too good ... I ... feel ... so weak. Second Sailor We can't hold out much longer. Fifth Sailor Listen ... chaps ... there's one last chance. I'm done for, I've got a gammy leg, I'm going fast, I'll never get through ... but ... some of you might ... so you'd better eat me. First Sailor Eat you, sir? Fifth Sailor Yes. Eat me. Second Sailor Uuuuggghhh! With a gammy leg? Fifth Sailor You don't have to eat the leg, Thompson, there's still plenty of good meat ... look at that arm. Third Sailor It's not just the leg, sir. Fifth Sailor What do you mean? Third Sailor Well, sir ... it's just that ... Fifth Sailor Why don't you want to eat me? Third Sailor I'd rather eat Johnson, sir. (he points at fourth sailor) Second Sailor Oh, so would I, sir. Fifth Sailor I see. Fourth Sailor Well, that's settled then. Everyone eats me. First Sailor Well ... I ... er ... Third Sailor What, sir? First Sailor No, no, you go ahead, I won't ... Fourth Sailor Nonsense, nonsense, sir, you're starving. Tuck in! First Sailor No, no, it's not just that ... Second Sailor What's the matter with Johnson, sir? First Sailor Well, he's not kosher. Third Sailor That depends how we kill him, sir. First Sailor Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges. Second Sailor (cheerfully) Oh well ... all right. Third Sailor No, I'd still prefer Johnson. Fifth Sailor I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me. Second Sailor Look! I'll tell you what. Why don't those of us who want to, eat Johnson, then you, sir, can eat my leg and then we'll make a stock of the Captain and then after that we can eat the rest of Johnson cold for supper. First Sailor Good thinking, Hodges. Fourth Sailor And we'll finnish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of peaches) Third Sailor And we can start off with the advocados. (picks up a two advocados) First Sailor Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to have leg of Hodges ... Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter Voice Over Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
