If not directly, then indirectly through people they love.
Yes.
Are X-JWs Clique-ish?
by cameo-d 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Black Sheep
Chris, I am referring to "cliquish" as among themselves.
I am sure that most ex-JWs realise that they are just victims of one of many cults.
Those that haven't realised this, yet, have my sympathy.
For me, the only thing 'special' about Jehovah's Witnesses is that it is the cult that I had the misfortune to be born into.
Cheers
Chris
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Mrs. Fiorini
For me, the only thing 'special' about Jehovah's Witnesses is that it is the cult that I had the misfortune to be born into.
Agreed.
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Lady Lee
Are x-JWs a cult unto themselves?
If you mean do exJWs feel like no one will understand them other than other exJWs yes they probably do. But then being a JW doesn't exactly let a person know how other cult members feel during or after they leave. So until they have the opportunity to talk to other ex-cult members they won't know how similar their experiences and feelings are.
Do you think x-JWs still have a need to feel "exclusive"?
We all have a need to belong. It is human nature. If we lose our family and all our friends it would be pretty normal to cling to any group where you feel a sense of belonging. I don't think that is the same as feeling exclusive though. This board is pretty inclusive especially when welcoming people who are in relationships with either active or inactive JWs
Do you think they are just "wired that way" or is it due to cult influence?
The term "wired that way" usually refers to a biological wiring and not a cult programming issue. Are we biologically wired to have a sense of belonging? Yes Humans take the longest time from birth to maturation of any mammal. Out of pure basic security issues we need to belong somewhere or we die. Even on the emotional level babies who are not bonded to a parent figure and do not get the needed physical and emotional stimulation they need will suffer "failure to thrive" syndrome.
Anyone who lives in a cult for a long period of time has probably cut off all association with anyone except other cult members. Leaving the cult means leaving our social support systems. It isn't for the faint-hearted.
Do you think a basic self centered nature is a common denominator in members of this group?
"self centered nature" NO. Do we feel hurt and have a need to tend to our wounds? absolutely
Do you think x-JWs are still cliquish and prefer to be among "their own" ?
You know what - people here have lives outside of this forum. When they are here their focus is here. But if you read their posts you will see they have other interests besides this board and what happens here
Do you see discriminating attitudes on this board between x-JWs and NON x-JW's?
define "NON-x-JWs"
Active JWs are NON x-JWs. Do we get upset at JWs who post here and refuse to really listen to what we are saying - well yea. We tend to forget we were once one of them
People who are in relationships with either active or inactive JWs are given a lot of support as far as I can see. We certainly don't send them away as if their issues don't matter.
All of the above being said I think some people might fall into some of your categories. But I certainly don't think it is the norm.
Inn my life I often need to separate my pre-JW world from the active JW world and the post-JW world experiences. Some overlap occurs. And sometimes it is next to impossible to identify where the problems lay because of that overlap - sexual abuse before I became a JW vs. while I was a JW. Being a JW just adds another layer of betrayal to the abuse. See what I mean? I think I am a bit different than some in that my life is carved into several editions
- 0-11 pre-JW,
- 11-12 JW,
- 13-16 no contact with JWs but believed,
- 16-33 active JW,
- 33-43 DFed JW but still believed;
- 43 - present - definite post-JW apostate.
I doubt there are very many others who had their lives carved up like that. In some ways that helps me separate the effects of JWdom on me. And it helps me to be able to see it in others. Certainly my professional experience and knowledge helps there too.
I wasn't one of those kids who had school friends who were not JWs and that I had a double life with. That alone can be a big help to JW kids who leave the WTS completely after they are out of the JW home.
There are so many factors that affect our lives. Being a JW and the extent to which we were a JW will affect us always just like anything affects us one way or another
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TheOldHippie
Yes, they are. If you are still a JW - you are out. If you are on your way out - you are sort of out, because you have not reached the enlightenment yet, you have not see the light that they have. If you are a silent stayer for family reasons or waiting it out hoping for reform days to come - you are out, because you are either plain stupid or a hypocrite. And if you are out but not angry enough towards those still in or these other goups mentioned - you are not a real XJW, and therefore out. And so it goes.