Thankee, Ziddy!!!
(tee hee)
Well, I Just "Broke Up" with My Therapist...
by BabaYaga 35 Replies latest members private
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no more kool aid
I agree with the above posters, I don't know how much a therapist can really help. No One knows the hold the organization takes on you psyche, intrudes on family relationships and leave an ugly stain of guilt on your soul. If you were a born in or in for a very long time, I think it is a really long process. I backslide in my thinking many times. Guilt that parents lay on us about killing our children and the constant threat of armageddon etc are thoughts that I constantly combat. Sometimes I think that my husband and I will just always be a little messed up, I don't know that anyone can fix it.
It has helped me to keep Steve Hasans book on my night stand, sometimes I just read a page before I go to sleep. As you know this site has really helped us all maintain sanity. Another strange thing that helps is my few friends that are still in and talk to me are constantly complaining to me about "the truth". When I get done talking to them I am always positive we made the right decision.
If you just ever need to talk/ vent, PM me. We could probably help each other more than any old therapist and a lot cheaper. NMKA
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BabaYaga
No More Kool Aid said: It has helped me to keep Steve Hasans book on my night stand, sometimes I just read a page before I go to sleep.
Oh my gosh, Kool... that is exactly where mine is. What a feather in one's cap for Dear Mister Hassan... I'll bet he has never heard THAT one before. I wonder how many good folks have his book on their bedside table... to read continally through for reminders of strength? He can take temendous pride in THAT, no doubt.
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monophonic
i've had great success with therapy and even after being out of the organization for 10 years, i had no clue some of the belief system still needed to be worked out of my brain.
i actually called about 15 therapists and talked to all of them on the phone for about 10 minutes each (i know it's tedious), telling them exactly what i was going through and my history and one person stood out and i've been going to her for over five years. my previous therapist was a quack.
but, i had no clue what i was still clinging onto in my subconscience from the jws and how it was burdening my life...i'm continually amazed.
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BabaYaga
Monophonic said: i actually called about 15 therapists and talked to all of them on the phone for about 10 minutes each (i know it's tedious), telling them exactly what i was going through and my history and one person stood out and i've been going to her for over five years.
Wow... WOW. Now THAT is a great idea... I'm sorry to sound so naive, but... they do that? They will talk for 10 minutes on the phone? Monophonic, thank you so very much for taking the time to post this... that would certainly be the way to go.
Thank you.
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steve2
Therapy is a poor substitute for life, but a therapist trained in what's known as time-limited, goal-focused therapy can be a valuable source of support as you go about trying to sort yourself out. I'm not talking about therapists who "simply" let you talk it all out, but therapists who work with you to help you re-connect with your values and, if necessary, teach you skills to cope better in your life.
But, as you've found, watch out for some therapists who are so willing to fleece people of their money and teach nothing worthwhile in return!
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jaguarbass
Am I missing something.
When you go to therapy or a shrink you talk and they listen and your insurance pays
up the wazoo.
If you want to talk for a dollar an hour go to an AA meeting.
Put a dollar in the basket and they will listen as long as you can talk.
Just substitute your a recovering dub for your a recovering drunk and no ones the wiser.
And AA works if you work it.
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hamsterbait
The trouble with many therapists is they just set up an office. They don't HAVE to have passed any exams.
I chose to go to a properly qualified and accredited transactional analyst.
You are basically paying for him to fix the bits of you that you can't. It is all about professionalism.
If you need a heart op, you go to a cardiac surgeon, who will know what to do.
I was not prepared to pay megabucks to sit with somebody who just asked "and how does that make you feel?" or "what do you think is the answer to your problem?" I wanted somebody who could see the problem, and know how to do the necessary interventions.
Now I am so much better, and I actually can't be bothered to analyze why I was a mess.
HB
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BabaYaga
Some good ideas and lots to think about, folks, thank you.
Steve, therapy be a poor substitute for life, but I've done pretty well in the life part... I would just like to get through the STUCK stuff that is causing me grief. "Goal focused" sounds interesting.
Jag, I hear what you are saying about recovery and AA, but I don't think what I need to talk about are the same issues. And if I am just going to go and talk to a group of people, I'll stick with you good folks.
Hamsterbait, thanks for the "transactional analysis" pointer, I will have to look that up. Can you tell me more about it from your personal perspective?
Thank you all!
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Satanus
The psychotherapist that i went to was about as good as any hearing ear would be. Coulda got the same by going to a bar and talking my mouth off. Focussed meditation can also be used as therapy. I did it for a few yrs, usually w a bit of mj as fuel. A person could do it without, it would just take a bit longer and be a bit harder. Basically, you look for the source of your problem/pain, and you keep focussed on it in order to go deeper into it, reexperience it, and ultimately neutralise it. It's a way of handling something that you couldn't handle. earlier when the trauma happened, and so you buried it in the subconscious. The idea is to allow it to resurfase in the present, and be disposed of.
S