Former Hardcore Elder Now In and Out of Psych Ward (long)

by neverendingjourney 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • neverendingjourney
    neverendingjourney

    I was informed recently that a former hardcore, dyed-in-the-wool elder (Let’s call him Elder A) has been in and out of a mental ward recently. It came as a surprise at first, but upon further reflection, it really isn’t that surprising. Let me give you some background.

    My childhood up through elementary school was played out in the 80s. Middle school and high school years were lived in the 90s. Elder A was the one who originally brought “the truth” to my parents. I was a toddler at the time. He was about as hardcore as they came, even back then. He had three young kids who were more or less the same age as me, but they did not own a television set. He feared that it would let Satan into his house and that it would take away time from service. His kids were socially awkward and were generally mocked at school because of their overly-conservative style of dress.

    Nevertheless, Elder A was convinced that Armageddon was right around the corner. He fit the mold of what I remember was the prototypical 80s elder (at least from my limited experience as a child growing up in the 80s). He was smart, knew the Bible inside and out, and could recite Freddie Franz’s drivel about types, antitypes, and prophetic years with the best of them. His understanding of the Bible through the Watchtower’s publications had him convinced that Armageddon was already overdue and would probably come by the end of the 1980s. He felt the Cold War was proof of his beliefs.

    As we all know, nothing happened. The year 1995 came around and the Watchtower completely overhauled the “generation” teaching. This failed to catch the attention of most modern-type JWs (lazy and apathetic to doctrine), but for the old-school types like Elder A, it was a shock to their system, and one which they could not talk about openly with others for fear of making them “stumble” or appearing “spiritually weak.”

    Honestly, I didn’t see much of a change in Elder A at the time (he was in a neighboring congregation), but in the early part of this decade (2002 or so) he changed congregations and officially moved back to the congregation I was attending at the time. Everyone assumed he would soon be reappointed elder at our hall, but this never happened. He was never officially removed at his old hall, but he was never reappointed at our own hall. By this time, it seemed that Elder A was a completely different person. He was still aloof and socially awkward, but he missed meetings, was irregular in field service, and did not show much of an interest in getting involved in congregation matters.

    I moved away and became inactive not too long after Elder A moved to our hall, but I still get periodic updates from my family members who are still very much “in.” In talking to my brother, he informed me that Elder A was having some major psychological issues and had spent some time in and out of a psych ward.

    Now, I know that it’s all too common for us former-dubs to project our feelings and beliefs onto current dubs, but here’s how I think this situation might have very well played out. Elder A gave his entire life to the JW cause. He bought into and joined an organization that taught Armageddon would come within a few years. He cut off all association with his family (even his own mother) because they refused to convert. He raised his kids to be ridiculed at school and eventually one of his daughters rebelled and led a pretty hopeless life for a while. What was his reward for all this? Nothing. For all of his sacrifices he got an article in the Watchtower that drove a stake through his hopes and aspirations and had the privilege of seeing an apathetic and unquestioning congregation sit by and take it all in stride. He then got to see the Watchtower recently make a complete joke out the generation doctrine, which was once the anchor of his faith, with the newest rehashed “generation=anointed” stinker of a doctrine.

    What’s more, the current crop of elders is a joke. The bodies of elders are now composed of a bunch of yes-men who are generally of below-average intelligence, lazy, and don’t give two-shits about doctrine. It’s all “wait on Jehovah” from them. This is in stark contrast to the type of hardcore elders who dominated back in the 80s.

    I think it’s quite likely that the cognitive dissonance was just too much for him to bear. At some point, Elder A probably realized that he had throw away the best years of his life chasing after a pipedream, and his kids suffered as a result. He cut off all ties with his family and now looked ridiculous because of it, and the organization he served did not give a crap about him. " Too bad. It’s your fault for getting ahead of the organization. The Society never gave a date for Armageddon. It’s your bad for reading more into the publications than was there." And so on.

    The realization that you threw away years of your life in pursuit of false beliefs is extremely difficult to bear. I know this from personal experience. I fully awoke from the JW grip when I was in my mid 20s, and it was almost too much for me. I came dangerously close to a mental breakdown. I lost 15 pounds in little over a month. I became borderline suicidal. I never got to the point of putting a gun in my mouth, but I mentally planned out how I would carry out my suicide and what I needed to do to get my affairs in order beforehand. Shotgun blasts were heard outside my house and I was genuinely upset that a stray bullet had not taken my life. I wished I would be in a an accident and die. It was genuinely the low point of my life. After about a year or two of languishing in depression, I came to terms with leaving the JWs, and I’m now a pretty healthy human being, but getting over the hump was hell.

    It’s completely reasonable to believe that Elder A is going through a similar experience. Maybe he hasn’t come to terms with being deceived yet, but it’s quite possible that he’s discovered that his original plans have gone up in smoke. He’s going to grow old and die in this system of things, a contingency which he never prepared for. Perhaps he just suffers from mental illness and would have had a mental breakdown regardless of whether or not he ever became a JW, but judging from my own experience, something tells me that his psychological problems, like those of so many other JWs, are related to the disappointment and constant blows to the self-esteem that are unfortunately all too common in the JW world.

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    Interesting story. I understand what you say about we exJWs projecting our feelings onto other dubs.

    I *always* assume that dubs I have grown up with cannot possibly be JWs anymore and think out their exit scenarios in my mind when I hear some tidbit of news regarding old friends.

    When a poster here on JWN PMed me and told me that she/he was a dub from a congregation I was in I totally had a scenario in my mind about who it was, why they couldn't possibly be a JW anymore... etc. Well it was not the person I thought it was...

    I guess, be careful about constructing scenarios in your head... but I hope the best from your elder friend.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    I've seen it happen too many times to count.

    The JW organization members are ill-equipped to deal with life.

    Sylvia

  • neverendingjourney
    neverendingjourney
    The JW organization members are ill-equipped to deal with life.

    I agree with this statement, particularly as it relates to younger JWs who leave the religion. They never developed their own set of values. Instead, they are given a prefabricated set and told to internalize it. Because of that, when many of them leave the religion and reject the set of values that was forced upon them, they get into trouble until they're able to develop of set of values of their own. I've seen this happen over and over with many of my JW contemporaries whom I grew up with.

  • net1261
    net1261

    That's an interesting story. I find it interesting in that my father was a hardcore elder in the 80s. Of course, he is still a hardcore elder in the 00s. But I guess anyone can crack, right?

  • sspo
    sspo

    Sad story but we might have to multiply this by the 1000's of poor souls that gave it all to the watchtower

    and eventually end up realizing that they will die in this system and never see the end.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    I wish him well... I wish him strength, health, wisdom, peace, and joy.

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Sad sad story.

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    Well, my mom was married to my elder dad for years. She divorced him in 2000, I think. She was DFd in 2000 for adultry. She has become an alcoholic, has been in and out of rehab, has been in and out of psych wards since. In fact, she had another break down yesterday and checked herself into one again...I am not involved, I hear this from her sister...

    Anyway, after reading about the former hardcore elder on this thread, and then thinking about my hardcore JW dad, and former hard core JW mom, well there sure is a pattern.

    Nikki

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    Just another example of how the WTS chews you up and swallows you and then spits you out.

    It is a rotten shame that so many good persons in the witnesses have either become statistics having committed suicide or have murdered their families or someone else because their mental health has become so fragile some have literaly snapped. The pressure heaped upon any JW is unrealistic. The pressure of shunning ones own family is sometimes unbearable for families to except. Even day to day pressures are enough to cause some witnesses to have anxiety attacks . Some of them and I know a few who sit at their television and listen to the world news to see what is going on work themselves into a frenzy thinking that the great tribulation is almost here. They are paranoid.

    It is so sad to see what has happened to many witness families, their lives have been put on hold waiting and waiting and waiting and for what?Just look at the 1975 fiassco. Need I say more??

    I know of several hard core elders and they showed themselves to be some sort of invincible powerful hungry men and now these several men are shells of what they once were. Bitter resentful. they have been deleted as elders or MS for crimes and have shamed themselves, their families and most of all God.

    I recall the hype over the 38 years that I was a witness and it is the same things that they are telling the witnesses to day. But I believe that several things have been made easier for the witnesses in this day and age. Meetings are not as long. Service requirements have changed. Since the days of eight day conventions which went from morning to late in the evening JW of today who are newer have no idea how stringent life was as a JW. But in those years JWs seemed happier but today it doesn't appear to be the case there seems to be more of the attitude , Oh must I go to the meeting or must I go in the service, or must I pray every day. If only newer witnesses knew what hidden secrets in the closets of the WTS I think many would not even venture into this organization.

    One elder in Quebec was a witness most of his life and raised high in the ranks in the organization to that of District Overseer. He turned to alcohol and he started teaching his own ways rather than the ways of the WT ways. He had spent years in and out of prision for being a witness but in the end all those years meant nothing to the WTS, they disfellowshiped this person and made him a shell of what he once was like. The WTS will have much to answer for like all the religions of this world, they are no different from other religions. Yes you have skeletons in your closets and remember those who live in glass watchtowers shouldn't throw stones.

    They are as stained as much as other world church and in point of fact I strongly believe that the judgement metted out by God will be greater for the WTS because they have shamed God by lying, cheating, being responsible for the death of so many people, their association with the UN and their own filthy laundry they hid about pedophiles. That in itself is so evil and unforgiveable as far as I am concerned and the lives of innocent children who today are literally suffering from some forms of mental illness. Their shame is greater than any other church because the WTS tried to cover it up. And you told persons not to say a word but to leave it God's hands, who are you kidding, God is disgusted with this. Don't pass the buck to God, it is your own sins that have become manifest and you have no where to hide. Your own fornication with the UN is just an example of how you view sins.

    Hardcore elders many of which are a mess and the fault lies directly with the Governing Body, these very men who they claim are appointed by God's holy spirit, well if God's Holy spirit gives you your so called direction then why didn't you the GB know this and stop or bring into light what was happening in so many congregations the world over.

    Your shame will be that Christ will bring His shame on you.

    Orangefatcat

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