Another 'gag me' email

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land

    Funny how these people think that Jehovah will arrange for a backhoe to fill a basement, or a storm to knock down a tree that the city won't let you remove, but doesn't prevent his young servants from being sexually abused, or whatever.

    (gag-me email follow)

    DOES JEHOVAH KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, AND DOES HE HELP?
    (As told by Bro. Spangenberg, C.0.)

    1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall in Australia , where one Brother was killed,=2 0was meant to kill everyone, and would have; but the bomb rolled backwards so the force or the blast was away from the friends,rather than aimed at them.

    2. A new Hall was built in Brooklyn . However, a large tree was
    Inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot, and a city
    Ordinance forbade it's removal. That night, a storm blew it down, and it conveniently fell in the middle of the street. No harm came to the Hall. Because it blocked the street, the city of New York had to remove it, at no expense to the brothers.

    3. In Florida , a Hall building was delayed, because the basement hadn't been back filled and the brothers had no means to do so. While the inspectors were at the site, a bulldozer showed up, did the job, and drove off. He returned to tell his boss; he'd finished the job at the Hall. The boss replied, 'Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!' The job was done at
    No expense to the brothers.

    4. The brothers were building a 2-day project, and were short of roof trusses. None could be obtained for 3 days. Nearby, a semi-truck overturned, blocking traffic. What was it carrying? Trusses! The police wanted them removed. The brothers moved in and hauled them away. Although some were damaged, enough were gathered to finish the project, at no cost
    To the brothers.

    5. A Hall project was planned on an island. However, no sand was available for the mortar. (Many of th ese islands are formed from coral.). The only sand was on property owned by the Catholic priest, and he wouldn't sell to the brothers. A storm came up and washed the sand from the priest's land to where it was available to the friends. The project was completed,
    And everyone was happy but the priest.

    6. In Poland , where the work was, at the time, done underground, 3 elders were working on a country road. The sky was cloudy. Suddenly a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. The other 2 hurriedly hid his body in the bushes, to go and remove literature, etc. From his home before the officials came. (The officials would take over any possessions they found and would give them to whomever they felt could use them. ) Among his possessions were found a complete list of all the Witnesses from miles around. He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police! As Bro. Lauriz says, if these hadn't come from Bethel , we'd never believe them!

    7. In a country where the work is banned, a brother was trying to get through a series of roadblocks, with the trunk of his car loaded with literature. He was stopped by a policeman who asked him if he would take him to a certain destination as his car was broke down. The Brother agreed, the policeman got in the car, took his policeman's hat off and put it on the dashboard of the car as they drove along. They passed through five road blocks and each time they were waved to go on through because of the policeman being with him. When they reached the end, the policeman thanked him and got out. The Brother asked him what the roadblocks were for and he said, 'Oh, those Jehovah's Witnesses try to get through with their literature and this is set up to stop them.' So he had escorted theBrother right through with his literature!

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    ......DOES JEHOVAH KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, AND DOES HE HELP?
    (As told by Bro. Spangenberg, C.0.)

    1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall in Australia , where one Brother was killed,=2 0was meant to kill everyone, and would have; but the bomb rolled backwards so the force or the blast was away from the friends,rather than aimed at them..If he had stayed home instead of going to a Kingdom Hall he would still be alive!

    2. A new Hall was built in Brooklyn . However, a large tree was
    Inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot, and a city
    Ordinance forbade it's removal. That night, a storm blew it down, and it conveniently fell in the middle of the street. No harm came to the Hall. Because it blocked the street, the city of New York had to remove it, at no expense to the brothers..Jehovah loves Kingdom Hall parking lots..He hates tree`s that grow in Kingdom Hall Parking lots!

    3. In Florida, a Hall building was delayed, because the basement hadn't been back filled and the brothers had no means to do so. While the inspectors were at the site, a bulldozer showed up, did the job, and drove off. He returned to tell his boss; he'd finished the job at the Hall. The boss replied, 'Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!' The job was done at
    No expense to the brothers...Jehovah always sends people with hearing disorders,to save Jehovah`s Witness`s!

    4. The brothers were building a 2-day project, and were short of roof trusses. None could be obtained for 3 days. Nearby, a semi-truck overturned, blocking traffic. What was it carrying? Trusses! The police wanted them removed. The brothers moved in and hauled them away. Although some were damaged, enough were gathered to finish the project, at no cost
    To the brothers...Police will always Publicly Participate in Theft,if Jehovah`s Witness`s are in need!
    5. A Hall project was planned on an island. However, no sand was available for the mortar. (Many of th ese islands are formed from coral.). The only sand was on property owned by the Catholic priest, and he wouldn't sell to the brothers. A storm came up and washed the sand from the priest's land to where it was available to the friends. The project was completed,
    And everyone was happy but the priest...Jehovah moved an entire beach of sand..From Catholic property, to WBT$ property..What`s not to believe?!

    6. In Poland, where the work was, at the time, done underground, 3 elders were working on a country road. The sky was cloudy. Suddenly a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. The other 2 hurriedly hid his body in the bushes, to go and remove literature, etc. From his home before the officials came. (The officials would take over any possessions they found and would give them to whomever they felt could use them. ) Among his possessions were found a complete list of all the Witnesses from miles around. He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police! As Bro. Lauriz says, if these hadn't come from Bethel , we'd never believe them!..All storys from Bethel are true!.."Armageddon by 1975".."The generation of 1914 will not pass away"..
    .....
    7. In a country where the work is banned, a brother was trying to get through a series of roadblocks, with the trunk of his car loaded with literature. He was stopped by a policeman who asked him if he would take him to a certain destination as his car was broke down. The Brother agreed, the policeman got in the car, took his policeman's hat off and put it on the dashboard of the car as they drove along. They passed through five road blocks and each time they were waved to go on through because of the policeman being with him. When they reached the end, the policeman thanked him and got out. The Brother asked him what the roadblocks were for and he said, 'Oh, those Jehovah's Witnesses try to get through with their literature and this is set up to stop them.' So he had escorted theBrother right through with his literature!..When police are looking for Jehovah`s Witness`s,in cars with WBT$ literature..Police never check Jehovah`s Witness`s in cars,with WBT$ literature........................... Crazy 1 .....On a scale of "None to Stupid".......This Email gets a "STUPID!!".. Bravo! Bravo! ..................LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • lancelink
    lancelink

    Funny,,,, I heard every one of these stories back in the early 80's.

    I heard them from our po.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    So, Jehovah's been spending his time ripping trees out of Brooklyn KH parking lots. Well then, I know many Jehovah's Witnesses that have died of cancer. Jehovah must have arranged for ripping them out, too.

  • loosie
    loosie

    #1) So the brother in the 1st illustration wasn't putting in enough field circus time or hiding some secret sin? Either way Jah said he had to go.

    #2) If true was coincidence

    #3) is BD because the truck drive would ahve gone by a work order which would ahve had hte MALL address on it. Non JW's don't call it a hall.

    #4) yeah and the trusses just happened to fit. I call BS.

    #5) after being thru a storm the sand was clean enough to use. I don't think so.

    #6) yeah god always gets the imposters. But the MS who molests little girls doesn't get stuck by lighting and isn't found out about for 20 years.

    #70 which country ? Can't back this up w/o facts. do the police really care about jw's enough to set up road blocks and irritate all the other law abiding citizens.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    BillyTXB..Jehovah only kills Jehovah`s Witness`s, that don`t park properly at the Kingdom Hall......Jehovah`s Witness`s that park properly in the Kingdom Hall parking lot,don`t get cancer.....It`s in the Bible!!...................................OUTLAW

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    This reminds me of Cato's saying that two augurs (divining priests) could not meet without laughing, and therefore must keep their heads covered.

    Does it not absolutely gall you that the people writing this crap are laughing it up as they pen?

    And they think it is hilarious that JWs will be so stupid they will believe it and repeat it as fact.

    ...there is not a hell fire hot enough for those who take advantage of and warp an innocent trusting nature.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Loosie..Your such a sceptic!...#1:That JW never parked properly at the Kingdom Hall,Jehovah hates that..And..Tree`s in Kingdom Hall parking lots.............................#2:see#1..............#3:God always sends people who can`t hear or read,to help Jehovah`s Witness`s......................#4:Jehovah made them fit!...................#5:The sand was in the Ocean so it got washed..Jehovah washed it in "Cold Water Tide"..................................#6:Your just trying to make Evil JW`s,look bad!....................................#7:Thats easy!..It`s the country that sets up multiple road blocks,so Jehovah`s Witness`s can deliver thier WBT$ literature safely!!...........................I`m afraid your negative comments just don`t stand up,to an unreasonable defense!..................LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    there really needs to be a snopes.com
    type of website for accuracy checks on
    this drivel and tripe.. they could call it
    dopes.com

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    Um, wouldn't the tree have been there already when they built the Kingdom Hall? I don't quite understand that one.

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