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independent_tre

I've come to realize that if a family has any dysfunction at all ( and many families do ), the Jehovah's Witness religion will enhance it exponentially. A harsh father can become downright abusive, a strict mother will be suffocating - and this behavior is done in the most self-righteous fashion because its done in the name of religion. Very sad.

Welcome to the board. I really believe that part of the recovery process is being able to vent your experiences and be heard and understood. Your experiences eventually become the story others need to read to help them along in their healing process. Thank you for sharing.

If we believe absurdities we shall commit atrocities. - Voltaire

aSphereisnotaCircle

well, incidentally, the man who did the bible study with my dad, became my stepdad within 6 months and we moved into his house.

What's the only thing worse then a couple of JW teenagers getting married?

I JW parent that marries almost immediately after the other parent dies/leaves/divorces.

The thought just makes me ill.

The kids just get kicked around like so much excess baggage.

ziddina

CreativHoney, so glad to say HI! and welcome to the board!

I'm the "Smileys" nut, as you can see from my garish, neon-sign posts...

Depression... Yes, that is so familiar. Just before I left, I was feeling so depressed I was actually considering suicide. Once I left, the pressure was off, the condemnations diminished the further I distanced myself from the 'truuuuuth' - Ah! So much better today!! I'm sure you've figured out - any time - ANYTIME - you feel depressed, down, whatever, there are so many people on this board that are ready, willing, and very able to help you. So many have gone thru much the same things as you have; they - we - are all here for you.

Mouthy, by the way, is the official 'grandmother' of the board - has gone thru much, and always comes up with words of wisdom. Baba Yaga has jewels of wisdom too, Truthsetsonefree, Colton, Snowbird - the list goes on; so many caring people here to help you.

independent_tre, you said, "I've come to realize that if a family has any dysfunction at all ( and many families do ), the Jehovah's Witness religion will enhance it exponentially." Right on the landing beam!!!

CreativHoney, you'll be just fine - with time. Please ask any questions, make any statements, feel free to be truly yourself.

Zid

Tired of the Hypocrisy

Welcome to the board. I hope to ehar more from you. Feel free to share with us and to jump in and share your insights.

VIII

Welcome to the board. You have had a hard time but sound like a very strong woman.

I understand about the 10 post restriction. I will say everything I can here: I have only 6 posts until this evening when I can post 4 more. I don't understand when I will get to post more or how it works. Oh well.

There are lots of helpful people here. I read for a long time before I could post. I really appreciate all the old and new posts.

Good luck with everything.

Warlock

creativhoney,

I didn't grow up in "the truth", but I did have a very cruel step-father.

Welcome.

Warlock

creativhoney

Thanks everyone its great to meet you all, its good to meet people who have come out of bad experiences or even just find the strength to look here to get away. the other week I went to the doctor and she tried to make me join the alpha course. - can you imagine if I was a bit more unstable lol I may have gone on a killing spree....

all this takes time, its only been a year since my family left me and despite the upbringing you still feel the loss somehow. - its my brother, sister and six nephews and neices with their spouses etc and none of them have checked if I am ok. -probably because Im on some terriible downward spiral into sin and fornication.

how long does the ten post rule last? - is it a permanent thing or just for new members?

mindmelda

I lived with my parents until I was 28 because they were "protecting" me from "the world".

This kind of parental control is just an extension of the congregation and WTS control.

They turn everyone into their policemen.

I'm sorry you went through all that. I wish it didn't take this kind of extreme abuse to make us realize just what an abusive and controlling cult this is.

I hate the post restriction! I understand why it's here, but I always find something else I want to comment on!

It's so amazing to find people who understand what you've been through. I still can't get over it.

ziddina

Ten-post rule.... I've been a member for about a month, and am still on a short chain... I've also passed my 100-posts mark (by over 100 posts) but I'm STILL on a short chain....

Pace yourself. You will want to post 100+ in the first few weeks here. I definitely did - until I realized I was neglecting responsibilities and spending most of the day hunched over the computer. Now I actually let a post or two go without using it - Hah!

BTW, you also are allowed one 'thread' every 24 hours, though I'm not clear whether you can use that if you've already used up your 10 posts for the same 24 hours...

Advance warning - I just got new Smileys and am totally obnoxious with them...

I am so sorry to hear about the pain that the 'shunning' is causing you.

I am in an awkward position when it comes to comforting people who are being shunned by their families. My family was vicious and destructive towards me; when I left, the shunning provided a protective 'wall' between me and my parents. So I am actually grateful for the shunning edict, but only as it applies to my family. I was so abused that I have a difficult time understanding why anyone would want to stay in contact with their family - the idea of family members being loving and supportive towards each other is totally alien to me. But I see the pain that shunning causes other people...

Do you have any distant relatives who are not JWs? Any relatives at all who are not JWs?? I wish I'd gotten in touch with my father's non-JW extended family when I was in my teens - would have provided a support system and have saved me a LOT of grief.

If you don't have any non-JW family, do you have any good non-JW friends?? I actually 'adopted' a surrogate mother - she's much kinder and more thoughtful of me than my JW biological incubator was.

I know that this separation from your JW family must hurt right now (that's the WTBTS's intent - emotional blackmail to drag you 'back into the "fold"'), but keep your eyes open - there are people out there who would be good friends to you. Be sure you've 'de-programmed' a bit before you open up too much - IMHO, the WTBTS's dogma tends to imprint a 'victim' posture, and you need to be sure you're picking GOOD friends who won't hurt you.

May I suggest Mouthy as a substitute grandmother? She's pretty good at it! She posts on this board frequently, and is very warm and caring. She could be the beginning of a 'surrogate' family for you...

Hope this helps.... We're here for you! Zid

mindmelda

I haven't raised my kids in the WTS teachings either. They turned out to be really nice people without it, imagine that!

I was told my kids would be hookerr or drug addicts or something if I didn't cram them full of "The Truth" but somehow they've managed to be lovely decent kids.

I actually have less problems with them than most JWs have with their kids, I've noticed.

When my husband and I were first married, we moved in with my parents for a while and it was HELL! My mother is so critical, and she just could not keep from trying to run our lives. She tried to take over raising my oldest. I forbade hitting her and we fought about that all the time.

Being a Witness never taught her much about treating anyone with kindness, humility or love. I think that's pretty sad. My dad was a kind person BEFORE he was a Witness, so he hasn't changed much either...thankfully.

Later, I discovered my mother was an abused child, beaten for every infraction, choked, slapped and locked in dark cupboards, and never allowed to question parental authority, which was absolute. I think she was attracted to JWs because she's attracted to abusive authority in some strange way. She was the first one in our family to get converted and dragged the rest of us along with her.

Anyway welcome to the boards!

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