The past three weeks having been so stressful and very sad. My ex husband died after being in hospital for just over a week in intensive care.
I was just 18 and he was 21 when we first met and after a whirlwind romance we married 6 months later and have two sons together who are now adults. Although our marriage ended after 25 years and I remarried 7 years ago, he was my first love and I knew him for most of my life. His sister and I have always been and still are very close. My youngest son is 23 which is very young to lose his dad and it breaks my heart to see and feel his sadness.
My oldest son is a JW, married to a JW and they have a 22 month old daughter ( my only grand child). I have not been allowed any contact for a year now as they have shut me out of their lives completely since I told them some truths about the WT and stopped going to the KH. I have not been DF'd or officially DA'd but my son and DIL treat me the same anyway. My grand-daughter doesn't know me now as she was under 1 year old when I stopped seeing her.
I have been coping well with the situation since finding strength, peace and hope again in Christianity. However, the funeral for my ex husband was held this morning and I feel a traumatised.
My ex didn't have a partner when he died, so my JW son was arranging everything for the funeral, which would be a Humanist one as he wasn't religious. My son contacted me to ask for some help which I was very glad to give as I wanted to be able to contribute as much as I could. My husband is a wonderful man and said he would help too.
It was three weeks until a date for the funeral could be set, as there had to be an autopsy first before the death certificate was released. During these weeks we have been talking to my son over the telephone and although it has been quite business-like, it has been quite pleasant just to talk with him and he seemed to be quite friendly.
Yesterday ( day before the funeral), my husband had arranged to go over to my son's home to give him the cards that we had made as a tribute to his dad for everyone at the funeral to have. When he got there my son let him in ok, then presented my husband with two big bags of toys and other things that we had given to my grand-daughter previously and said that it wasn't appropriate for her to keep them. It felt like a stab in the back and rejection all over again, opened up the wounds and hurts very much.
At the funeral reception today my son and dil brought their little girl and she has grown so much since I last saw her, running around and so beautiful but she doesn't know who I am any more. Neither of them came near me or my husband or spoke to us but it was seeing my grand-daughter that upset me the most. I kept quiet because the sad occasion and for the sake of my youngest son and the family but it was the hardest thing I have done for a very long time.
My intuition tells me that my DIL is the force behind the way things are because she is controlling to the extreme, vengeful and terrified that my son will be influenced by me and others in the family to leave the WT. I say this because I have a pretty good idea how her mind works - even before all this she would go out of her way to make sure she was always present when I was with my son and make excuses to limit our getting together. Also I toldher she was controlling once when I was on the phone to my son and she snatched it off him. I believe her be resentful because I let her know I have got her measure and can stand up to her.
Maddie