After almost 18 years out, I faced my demon.

juni

Hey everyone, This past Sunday I resolved to face a demon head on. That is revisiting a Kingdom Hall....this after going through years of mental torment.. depression, anxiety and near suicide with years of therapy to heal the wounds of spiritual abuse. I had a loving friend along with me for support and the event went very well. No longer was I afraid of them; no more do they have any sort of control over me I came to realize. Actually, as I listened to their "blah blah" public talk and looked around, I felt sorry for them. There are some who are good people and I enjoyed talking once again with them. I've been out for nearly 18 years and no one asked me any questions about my absence. This was a huge thing in my life to face as I didn't really know how I would react to be honest. Now I'm ready to "re connect" with other former friends at the Circuit Assembly. It should be fun. Thank you to my dear friend who made it possible. Life is good. Juni

quietlyleaving

good for you Juni - it is a wonderful feeling realising they don't have control over you when they are at their most controlling. I have a kind of phobia regarding the assemblies and can sympathise so good luck on attending and meeting up with old friends.

I borrowed the tape of one of the meetings my daughter and I attended recently and have copied it. It was more like a service meeting marking talk than a public talk. After the meeting the speaker came over and hugged me and my daughter and he was a completely different person laughing and joking with us.

But I was listening to the watchtower summary section a couple of days ago and was very moved by some of the comments made about their love for Jehovah by those whom I used to be close to. They sounded genuine and heartfelt, like my son and his wife, sigh....

BabaYaga

Wow, Precious Juni, just wow!

How coincidental it is that I am now reading this experience of yours. Just a couple of hours ago, I was talking to a very dear friend who was raised Mormon, who has no problem going back and helping her family do things at the church. I told her that there was NO WAY I would or could ever do that in a "Kingdom Hall". Yet... here you are... having faced your demons and won.

You know that I am smiling and shaking my head in wonderment and awe. You do inspire me.

Love,
Baba.

wobble

I feel a physical revulsion when I pass a KH or see any littertrash like WT. or AWK. so I don't think I could sit through a Meeting,not without barfing.

I suppose I will have to go when my dear old Mum passes away,she is nearly ninety and 60 years a Witness. I may try to get the chance to do a Eulogy and slip some stuff in!

But well done Juni,you now are truly free!

Love

Wobble

bronzefist

Good for you girl! I know there are many here that for very good reasons will never step into a KH again and that is fine. However, I for one will never allow this organization to control my association with those that I have known for over 20 years. I can laugh as I listen to the crap from the platform and read between the lines because of this site's real "THIS IS THE THRUTH" information. I have taken information from here and told those that I trust still with the WTS "blinders" on......and they have listened!!!!!!! Those blinders are slowly slipping off. Changes sometimes come in small steps.....paraphrasing......" How else will they know...unless someone tells them?" and, "By going out to spread the REAL good news you not only save yourself, but others also."

brzfst

Nowman

Hi Juni-how are you doing...long time no talk....

I am glad for you...it appears it was something very important that you needed to do.

Take care!

Nikki

beksbks

I went to a funeral at a hall a couple of years ago. It was strange. Seeing people I hadn't seen in a lifetime. But the thing that really struck me, was how foolish it all seemed. Here it was a funeral, and they spent the bulk of the time talking about being a witness!

I was just talking to my mother about the fact that here in my new neighborhood, there is a KH about 3 blocks from me. I have to pass it every single time I go anywhere. I can't help but look at it every time. When the lot is full of cars, I just feel sorry for all the poor people that got out of them.

Nowman

beksbks-

I drive by alot of KHs, and I think the same way...feeling sorry for them...especially when I see cars in the parking lot, where I know they are out in "service" and I find myself apprecaiting that I do not have to do that ever again (its been 16 years)...but you get a strange feeling...driving by KHs.

Nikki

Scarred for life

I've been out for 37 years and it still gives me a strange feeling to drive by a KH or to find their literature in my front door.

I attended a cousin's funeral about 8-9 years ago. I also felt very sorry for everyone there. But it also almost made me nauseous. I don't plan to go to anymore relative's funerals at a KH. I may go to a burial or family gathering after the funeral service but I don't want to go back into a KH.

It's not that they have control over me. It just brings back too many terrible memories. And I don't want to go there.

crazyblondeb

*waves at Juni*

Been wondering how you are!! Glad to hear you faced ur demons!

There's no way I'd set foot in a kingdom hall!!

YOU GO, GIRL!

After almost 18 years out, I faced my demon.

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