Why I'm Not a Dub

by Farkel 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Why I'm not a dub:

    We: “Maybe we can’t solve all of the world’s problems, but we’ve already solved plenty of them so far, and there are a lot more we can solve if we give more of ourselves to help our fellow humans.

    Dubs: “We can’t solve all of the world’s problems, so why bother trying to solve ANY of them? We’ll just sell books, and you’d better buy them. Or our God will kill you.

    We: “We have to go to war to preserve our liberty and security, but we will do everything possible to only fight the enemy and leave innocent civilians unharmed. If we capture an enemy, we will treat him humanely. After all, we are trying to be civilized.”

    Dubs: “If you don’t buy our books, our God will smash your guts all over the sidewalk. And he’ll smash the guts of that baby you’re holding too. Buy our books.”

    We: “We have a God-given right to freely express our thoughts and opinions.

    Dubs: “You can only think and say what we tell you to think and say. And you’ll have to buy our books, or our God will kill you.”

    We: “We have the freedom to pursue any type of employment we desire.”

    Dubs: “We have the right to tell you what kind of job you can and cannot have. Not only that, we have the right to tell you who you can and cannot marry, how you must conduct any courtship, what kind of sex you may and may not have, and when we so deem, whether you should even get married or have children or not. If you don’t do as we say, our God will kill you.”

    Jesus: “Take my yoke. It is kindly and light.”

    Dubs: “Take my yoke and if you choke on it, it is your own fault. And if you complain or slacken, our God will kill you.”

    We: “You are worthy as a human; you are a special and unique individual.”

    Dubs: “You are unworthy to live if you don’t sell our books and barely worthy even if you do.”

    We: “We are all brothers on this planet.”

    Dubs: “We have brothers in our religion and we have enemies in our religion. The rest of you are all Satanic, and our God will kill you.”

    We: “We have conquered smallpox and other fatal diseases and saved hundreds of millions of lives.”

    Dubs: “We have conquered 6 million people and their minds.”

    We: “We have saved millions of lives with blood.”

    Dubs: “We have killed tens of thousands of lives without blood.”

    We: “We have brought human freedoms to much of this planets.”

    WTS: “And we have used those freedoms to deprive freedoms from those who worship us.”

    We: “We may not agree with what you say, but will defend to our deaths your right to say it.”

    Dubs: “If you do not agree with what we say, you are dead to us and our God will slaughter you.”

    We: “Life is a joy.”

    Dubs: “Life is pathetic.”

    We: “Honor one another.”

    Dubs: “Honor us.”

    We: “Charity begins at home.”

    Dubs: “Charity begins at the contribution box. And don’t forget to BUY OUR BOOKS, or OUR GOD WILL KILL YOU.”

    Farkel

    "I didn't mean what I meant."

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Farkel - awesome list! I've never heard it quite like this before and I love it. If I had the nerve I'd send it to my parents. Haha!

    Andi

  • neyank
    neyank

    Hey Farkel,

    Yes indeedy.

    That about sums up the JW outlook on things.

    For some strange reason I have the urge to buy books now though.

    neyank

  • Missie Eff
    Missie Eff

    Totally agree with you - great post.

    I often think that if Jesus got off the bus in my town one day, the last place he'd want to go to would be the Kingdom Hall.

    Nope, peddling the prolific stream of crap gushing from the sewer mouth of the WT is the only way they know of surviving. It's easier to take someone else's teachings off the spoon rather than research and create some ideas of your own.

    Oh, a final thought - if you celebrate Christmas then God will kill you. That's me for the chop then, best get bladdered!!

  • TR
    TR

    Farkel,

    The sick thing about your list is, that is just how I felt when I was a DUB!

    TR

    I'm gonna make mince meat outta that Osama!

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hey Farkel: As always, your wit, sarcasm, and blunt honesty makes for refreshing reading --- and your points are right on! Thanks. - Amazing

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Well said bro.Farkel,

    I stopped being a dub 'cos Armaggedon just wasn't happn'n for me, know what i mean? I kept not being a dub 'cos of all the free sex, beer and christmas cake .. or was it that i learned to stand up and take responsibility for my own destiny? lol

    unc who wonders how many farkels are still trapped in the blacktower? (well no farkels, but millions not now living ;)

  • sf
    sf

    "As always, your wit, sarcasm, and blunt honesty makes for refreshing reading."

    Indeed. So does the FACT that you disclose private conversations; truly refreshing "DIPFUCK" You go boy.

    sKally

  • Kristen
    Kristen

    Farkel,
    I liked that.

    We: “You are worthy as a human; you are a special and unique individual.”

    Dubs: “You are unworthy to live if you don’t sell our books and barely worthy even if you do.”

    That one scripture about God could have used rocks to cry out always shamed me. But maybe his message would have been more convincing coming from rocks, eh?

    Kristen

    free to be me

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    nice. i think i'll use that one.

    ashi

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