Help me with the logic of this

Magwitch

I was married for 20 years to a brown nosing, power hungry elder. His headship was so overbearing I was basically a prisoner. He would not let me associate with my dear parents (father an elder, mother a pioneer) because they were too liberal as witnesses (They did things like save seats at the assemblies when we were told not to). We only lived 20 minutes apart and I was forbidden to have anything to do with them. Did not go to their house for years, did not sit with or talk to them at assemblies, got into a lot of trouble if they called the house etc. etc..... But I stupidly was the obedient wife waiting on Jehovah to make things right. I finally had the nerve to leave the a**hole. I now was free to have my parents and vice versa. However, I refused to meet with the elders over divoricing my husband. I felt it was none of their business and I was through with the whole parade anyway. The BOE disfellowshipped me. Now my parents have cut me off this time. So I was cut off from my parents when I was a witness because of obedience to the organization (headship), and now that I am not a witness I am cut off again because of the organization. Is there someone out there that can help this pea brain understand the depth of love of this organization?

Lady Lee

OK first of all your husband was an abuser both emotionally and spirituall. He used religion to control who you talked to regardless of whether they were good JWs or not. I suspect he would be just as abusive if he wasn't a JW so be glad you are free of him -- wise choice.

As for your parents - its just sad they would do this to you

daniel-p

So I was cut off from my parents when I was a witness because of obedience to the organization (headship), and now that I am not a witness I am cut off again because of the organization. Is there someone out there that can help this pea brain understand the depth of love of this organization?

Nothing can explain it, because it defies logic, and more importantly, love. My advice is, go and love people who know how to give it back unconditionally.

loosie

OMG. My heart goes out to you. I can't explain their stupid brand of logic, because it isn't logical. I am so sorry you are goign through this.

Hope4Others

Have you been able to let your parents know how your loving elder ex-husband kept you from them?

And how all those years being cut off made you feel? Might be worth a try if you can...

Best Wishes

hope4others

mindmelda

It amazes me you can get DF'd for divorcing an abusive person, but not for being an abusive person if you're a JW.

I think this is hurting my brain too.

You did the right thing. No one deserves to be abused. Not by an person, not by an organization.

OnTheWayOut

It isn't easy to understand parents like that. I would be totally honest with them about how this makes you feel. Put it in a letter if you have to, and quote page 29 of the July 2009 Awake: "No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family."

Say how you were stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place and chose to get out of that situation.

helpaJWwife

they are all crazy!! good lord honey i feel for you!

ziddina

Aw, MagWitch, I am so sorry to hear that...

MindMelda - EXACTLY, Exactly, Exactly!!! Dead On!!

Hey, MagWitch, I sent you a PM - did you ever figure out how to get your Personal Messages? Since it appears you may be 'fading' - I won't mention details - but if you want to "PM" me, please feel free to do so - just 'click' on my name, then in the screen that comes up, click on "Send Message", type your message, then click green "Submit" button to send.

There are several threads in the "Forum - Technical Support" about how to pick up your PMs, if my earlier descriptions weren't helpful, but here goes again [and this is my last post for the day - I HATE BEING A NEWBIE!!]

To pick up your "PMs", after you have logged in to the site, [left]click on the little 'envelope' by your name. That will take you to your 'inbox'.

[left]Click on any message TITLE - that will take you to a screen that says, "Sorry - an error has occurred while processing your request"

THIS IS NORMAL. DON'T PANIC. Click on the 'back' button on your 'toolbar' - usually the 'left arrow' key at the top LEFT corner of Your page - that's the area ABOVE the "Jehovah's Witness dot Net" stuff... that will take you back to your Jehovah's Witness dot Net 'inbox' aka the previous screen with the PM Message titles. CLICK ON THE SAME PM MESSAGE TITLE AGAIN... NOW you will be able to read that PM. Repeat with all the other PMs as you read them.

Sure hope this helps... Zid Well, that's it for me. Can't post for another 24 hours... [Big Sigh]

jamiebowers

It amazes me you can get DF'd for divorcing an abusive person, but not for being an abusive person if you're a JW.

Abusive people are manipulators and know how to work the WB&TS's system. As long as you confess your sins to the elders, you can continue to do whatever it is you want to do. My exhusband got away with it for years. Aside from physical abuse and threats of homicide and suicide, he was a pretty sick ticket in the sex department too. He would cry and confess his sins and was right back at it within days. I was df'd for telling the elders that I didn't want to belong to an organization that insisted that I either remain married to this jerkwad or hang around to stalk him long enough to determine if he would commit adutery or murder...and this was after he'd been forcibly committed to mental instituions twice.

Help me with the logic of this

Share this