Forget all of the stages: Denial, Anger, Sadness - Don't you sometimes just feel STUPID for having believed in the Organization?

by BonaFide 48 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Doubting Bro

  BF - Although I was raised in it, I feel very stupid for ever getting baptized and certainly for being so involved during my young adult life. I get very angry at myself and relive the times that I could have escaped but went back. The problem is that at the time, I truely believed. Maybe if the internet had been around then, I would have come to the conclusion that I'm at now.

  I think over time it does get a little better. Like you, I still go for family but I've been able to move past the self loathing. I now look at the JW experience as a good learning experience. I will NEVER take anything at face value, especially from those who claim to have all the answers. I will ALWAYS assume that the motivation for most things is money and work backwards from that. I've seen the ugly side of judgmental and will not make sweeping generalizations of individuals that I do not know. My kids WILL get a good education not matter what anyone says.

  Was I stupid for not fully investigating the religion I grew up in before making a committment similar to the committment one makes to a gang or the mob? Yes. But you can take 2 courses after a stupid decision: 1) Learn from it and not repeat it or 2) let it beat you in the ground. What's done is done. I'm trying to focus on what I can change - today and tomorrow.
• 

  mindmelda

  I was a child when this was done to me, a child who was offered no other choices in life, and believed my parents loved me and were telling me the truth and wanted what was best for me. All children want to believe that of their parents. And, I'm sure my parents believed that withholding higher education, raising me like the Amish (except without the farm fresh air!) and a mind controlled WTS slave was best for me too.

  It doesn't make it any less stupid or harmful, though. Feeling stupid is a good beginning I think. It's probably normal to feel stupid when you've been conned by experts. But, they deceived an awful lot of smart people, don't forget you're not alone.

  And, you were smart and sane enough to see through it, eventually. Think of all the others who are still buying the Brooklyn Bridge every day, and then think, "Who are really the stupid ones now?"

  The people selling it aren't really too smart, either. All good cons must come to an end eventually. This one will run it's sad course too.

  Christ nor the freedom that Christ offered is not in this religion. That to me is the biggest and saddest lie of all.
• 

  leftbelow

  I have been ask on a number of occasions to tell my story of my life as a Witness. And every time I find myself amazed I had ever believed some of the stuff I am saying. Of course when you are born in some of it was never really questioned but then after I became an adult I really should have checked this stuff out instead of just taking they're word for it.

  So yes I personally sometimes feel very stupid for having bought into it for so long.
• 

  leftbelow

  Sorry double post please carry on......
• 

  Quirky1

  Stoopid ain't the word for it.....
• 

  truthsetsonefree

  Sometimes I do. But being raised in it dampens a lot of that feeling for me. After all it's a good thing to obey one's parents, be cooperative, etc. I recognized the stupidity of this cult in my adult years and left before I was even forty. Now if I'd stayed in another ten, fifteen, maybe twenty years, oh Yes stupid I would feel having realized it and done nothing. That being said, that's me. Many have to stay because of familial circumstances and you folks should be admired for enduring the stupidity of the cult.
• 

  breezybest

  the wt makes its members feel so damn superior. thats why they want to believe in it. they're better than everyone else, even if they're depressed, paranoid, and even secretly living a double life (hence the paranoia).
• 

  RaraAvis

  Several years from now, the next thing you will be asking yourself (regretting) is, "Why did I stay in for so long after I finally figured it out?"

  Witnesses are taught you will get to LIVE FOREVER, so they think they have all the time in the world! Sadly they are all dying to live. What a tragic, pathetic, HUGE waste of time.
• 

  Hiding Questioner

  I too grew up in "the Truth" and wanted to please my parents. I was idealistic and always brushed away my doubts, thinking that so many seemingly "smart" people could not all be fooled. Then came my "fake" witness marriage and I saw the "dark side" of people and had to make the conscience decision to "dam the torpedoes" and go out and enjoy a REAL life. Now, here's where my real stupidity kicked in. After all that, when my mother was dying, I allowed my grief to let the witnesses and a loving new wife, to draw me back in.

  HOWEVER, this time, as a full grown "experienced in life" man, I soon realized that I was in a shame of a faith. So, still believing in the Bible and God, I thought to myself "Well, I need to worship God from somewhere; I’ll try to do it "my own way" from the JW faith. This just does not work. Why? It's easy to understand when I compare my 25 years in the corporate world with the "JW world”. The WBT$ operates like a corporation under the guise of a religion, so worship is not the priority, service is. If you want to confirm this, play the game I play at the meetings. Count the number of times you hear "worship Jehovah" versus "serve Jehovah”. You will be amazed! This test shows the true motivation of the WBT$. For every 10 times you hear "serve" or “service” to Jehovah, you will hear "worship" once. In that environment you will never gain spiritual enrichment, just frustration.

  Now I still attend for my wife, the amusement I gain by hearing the stupid comments and my new found skill of doing all I can to tell the GB where they can go by ignoring all their mind controlling techniques and being a secret force for good in working to prevent others from damaging their lives like I almost did to mine.
• 

  marcopolo

  I am angry with myself, I have made many sacrifices for organization and all anything for nothing , like an idiot I went to confess 2 sins and out.. go for a year, during this year I looked and discovered the truth, did me stacismo disassociati, I had back, now I feel bad bad stupidity I am sorry in my heart, I have many relatives in organition I can not go ... I hope that things change a day...im a stupid, yes. read only wt, all the other bad. this is absurd..