Open Letter to Satan ...

by The Berean 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  The Berean

  Dear Satan:

  For fifty years I have attempted to serve an opposing God. The results have been mental illness, alcoholism, and constant thoughts of suicide. I now find myself old, broke, and of little value.

  I would like to offer you a deal to "sell you my soul." I have been told the entire world is under your power and some say that you have been living on earth since 1914.

  So ... I will trade you my alligence for worldly goods. Whats a few million dollars, a few beautiful babes and a constant supply of Tennessee whiskey to you.

  If you make the deal, I will tell everyone that you exist and that you DO have power. Of course, if you don't exist ... you can't do anything ... then I guess I have wasted more time seeking another omnipotent fraud who never was at all.

  I'll be watching the mail

  Your potential servant ...
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  GromitSK

  If he exists and is omnipotent what have you got to offer? :)
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  daniel-p

  Hi, this is Satan. Sounds like a deal. Check's in the mail.
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  daniel-p

  FOr the record, I have no idea who posted that stuff above... I think Satan took over my keyboard or something!!
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  Waffles

  LOL!
• 

  The Berean

  GromitSK:

  GOOD POINT! Satan, I'll settle for free porn and "Two Buck Chuck."
• 

  Brocephus

  Berean you

  worshipped an opposing GOD?

  I hope you didn't consider selling magazines and reading the Watchtower worshipping GOD?

  The results you mentinoned:

  mental illness, alcoholism, and constant thoughts of suicide

  are all typical consequences of trying to serve the WTBS and live up to their insane "standards".

  I encourage you to profess Christ as your saviour and truly ask him into your heart before selling your soul.
• 

  PrimateDave

  I feel a demonic possession coming on....

  Oops! It was just some gas.

  Dave
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  GromitSK

  LMAO I recommend you embrace agnosticism or atheism and save yourself another load of aggravation.
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  Satanus

  'I now find myself old, broke, and of little value.'

  Heehee. Well now, if you were young and vigorous;) Anyhow, souls are still worth quite a lot, what w all the longevity breaking out and everyone going republican or taliban. They go to heaven.

  S