The Biggest B.S. stories you've heard from a talk

by superman 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  boyzone

  So this sister is out on field service and a guy is telling her off for spending so much time knocking on doors when she should be caring for her house. The sister tells him that she got up at the crack of dawn and has completed all her housework before starting on field service. The householder doesn't believe her so she invites him round to her home to show him how pristine it is. The householder is so impressed that he agrees to a bible study.

  This far-fetched piece of rubbish was given in a public talk. The looks of scepticism on the audience faces was priceless.
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  wha happened?

  Oh I just remembered a talk by a DO at a CA and he how he went on a rant about Star Wars. He called those movies an insult to Jehovah's creation. There was a bit of snickering going on.
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  asilentone

  I heard plenty of BS stories, I even repeated those stories to others in the past. I was very naive dub back then.
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  Marvin Shilmer

  Typewriters that will not sink in open water. Spoken from a CA platform. Spoken by a local elder from a CA platform. Demonized, of course.

  Neckties that keep flipping up in the air in field service. Spoken by a local elder from a CA platform. Demonized, of course.

  Two invisible hulking men protecting little Sister Frail in field service. Spoken by a DO from a DC platform. Demonized, of course.

  Small pastel colored stuffed dolls talking among themselves. Spoken by a DO from a CA platform. Demonized, of course.

  Photographs from a fortune teller that will not burn in fire. Spoken by Bethelite Fred Rusk from a DC platform. Demonized, of course.

  A man who was being strangled as he went into his baptism and was released as he came up from the water. Spoken by Bethel guest speaker at a SAD. Demonic attack, of course.

  Marvin Shilmer, who knows there are idiots laying in wait around every single corner
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  no more kool aid

  One of the last meetings we ever attended, the public talk was given by a local brother relating statistics to prove how bad conditions are today. He was giving absolutely astronomical figures on starvation (16 bazillion kids die of hunger everyday, 4 million die of cancer every day, a trillion people die in wars every year), I am exaggerating a bit. However my husband did the math on a calculator and the whole world would have been wiped out many times over. Where the heck did he get these figures, and they are just all sitting there lapping it up. I was one of my many aha moments.
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  drew sagan

  If you guys were interested we actually had a ex-mormon on the board a while back who revealed that the "two angels" story was actually in fact a mormon rumour that eventually found its way into witness circles.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/149991/1/Unexplained-Mormon-miracles-Unexplained-JW-miracles
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  Bonnie_Clyde

  From a public talk given by a visiting speaker at our KH - A young man from Africa (I believe) was thrown out of the house by his non-witness parents because he was getting baptized as a witness. He was impoverished, but nevertheless started pioneering. He had nothing to eat for a week, but he was still happy that he was in the ministry. Then he was assigned to the local Bethel home, but he felt guilty about eating three meals a day, so only partook of one per day.
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  isaacaustin

  In some country where meetings were held in a tent a dog kept following a couple walking to the meeting. This happened over several weeks. The dog would sit for the meeting and leave when the couple did. Finally the owner was curious where the dog was going. You know the rest...
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  isaacaustin

  In some country where meetings were held in a tent a dog kept following a couple walking to the meeting. This happened over several weeks. The dog would sit for the meeting and leave when the couple did. Finally the owner was curious where the dog was going. You know the rest...
• 

  isaacaustin

  In some country where meetings were held in a tent a dog kept following a couple walking to the meeting. This happened over several weeks. The dog would sit for the meeting and leave when the couple did. Finally the owner was curious where the dog was going. You know the rest...