You know you're getting old (page 6)

LOL, Dinah you silly woman!

Fucking moron, eh?

A girl can dream. Or a girl can be called a freak.

Getting old-----You and your teeth don"t sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your Mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your Birthday, is not be reminded of your age.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

Your memory is shorter and your complaining last longer.

Your address book has mostly names that start with "Dr."

Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt--doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into steak, and they stay there.

You have more patience, but actually that you just don't care any more.

You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

Dyinah, yer a freak gurl. Aym shua Auzzie wouud luv yeau if 'e 'ad a chonce ta meet ya. Ay 'ear 'e luves teh byoobs ya knoyw.

I wonder what the playlist will be at the nursing home in 2038.

When your cousin asks you what a walkman is, I am 21 and I feel old at times.LOL

when you wake up in the morning and your fart lasts longer than your pee.

You know you're getting old